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To find HCPs and random people referring to me as 'mum' bloody patronising?

(77 Posts)
philbee Wed 26-Jun-13 07:49:58

At a playgroup I used to go to with DD1 the helpers called us all 'mum', as in 'hello mum, sign in here'. I found it annoying because why bother addressing me as anything, just say 'hello'. But hey ho, they saw lots of parents, it wasn't worth making a thing about.

But in the last few weeks my GP has called me 'mum', as I was crying over a bfing issue at an appointment booked UNDER MY NAME, 'Don't worry mum, you're doing a great job.' Well thanks for the encouragement but I'm not your fucking mum, am I, and you know my name, it's on that screen in front of you! Plus, again, why call me anything - you're hardly talking to the six week old! This week a woman in DD's school playground called me 'mum', as in 'mum looks tired as well' (rude anyway) said to me, not to someone else about me, as in 'can't be bothered to ask your name but here's some unasked for judgment and advice about the care of your child.'. Does anyone else find this really patronising? And if so what's a good response?

ArbitraryUsername Wed 26-Jun-13 15:25:37

It's not understandable at nursery. The staff should learn the parents' names, or just avoid referring to parents as anything (very often you don't need to use names at all).

I speak to the staff at nursery every single day, and have done for nearly 3 years now. I know all the names of the staff I speak to (and there are quite a few of them); they could do me the courtesy of learning my name. Sure there are more parents than staff, but it's not part of my job role to build partnership with them (which is the big thing in most current legislation). It's hard to believe that someone sees you as a 'partner' when they're calling you 'mum'.

There is absolutely no excuse for: 'He's had a lovely day, mum. He ate all his breakfast, had seconds of lunch and ate all his tea, mum.' Ever.

expatinscotland Wed 26-Jun-13 15:40:01

I've had consultants we worked with intensely for months and who were well older than I (42) call me Mum. I wanted to quip back, 'If your mother is still alive she must be related to the Queen Mum,' but instead I'd give a wry cough and reply, 'I'm certain your mother is proud of you and your accomplishments. I am unworthy of the title coming from you. My name is (Sarcastic Bitch).'

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