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To wonder why and one even cares if people mistake their dcs gender?

(70 Posts)
HerrenaHarridan Tue 25-Jun-13 08:58:48

What's the big deal?

Enlighten me because just don't get it.

Some people take huge pains to make it as obvious as possible their dc is a boy/ girl and get massively offended if people get it wrong. Recently one mother I know has had her dds ears pierced because she has such short hair everyone assumes she's a boy, another had chopped off her boys beautiful blonde curls because people assume he is a girl.

I just don't see the problem what difference does it make?

it's a baby, it's androgynous, it's supposed to be androgynous.

So please, enlighten me.
Do you care?
Why do you care?

wibblyjelly Tue 25-Jun-13 09:03:25

I don't care. I will correct someone, but I'm not offended if someone thinks ds is a girl. He does look like a girl sometimes!

sparklekitty Tue 25-Jun-13 09:04:06

Not sure, my DD is often mistaken for a boy. She's 9mo, has very short hair and I often dress her in blue (she looks beautiful in blue as it brings out her eyes)

I'm never offended although I try to gently correct with something like 'oh yes, she's 9months now'

BrianTheMole Tue 25-Jun-13 09:05:05

I cut ds's hair eventually not because I minded, but because he minded that people mistook him for a girl.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 25-Jun-13 09:07:16

I don't care. Quite a few people mistook DS for a girl when he was a toddler. Now he will only wear "boy" clothes and won't have his hair washed so had it cut short and nobody mistakes him for a girl but I wouldn't care if they did.

RacheyMo2 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:08:30

My little boy has always looked very boyish but still got mistaken for a girl sometimes! I found it funny!
What does dd and FC stand for anyone? X

RacheyMo2 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:09:41


thebody Tue 25-Jun-13 09:09:43

I have to say I am not overseen on boys looking like little lord Fauntleroy because I always assume its about the parents that a lad has long flowing hair but apart from that each to their own and who cared.

thebody Tue 25-Jun-13 09:11:13

DD if dear daughter and DS is dear son. DC is dear children. Look at the mumsnet page as there's loads.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 25-Jun-13 09:12:41

Dd dear daughter
Ds dear son
Dc dear child/ren

RacheyMo2 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:13:47

Aahh right thanks smile makes more sense now! Xx

DS has long hair and a pretty face, people have thought he is a girl before now. He isn't bothered and neither are we. He does wear typical 'boys' clothes and shoes, that would be unusual to see on a girl.

DD was mistaken for a boy as a baby too, because she wasn't in pink FFS.

HerrenaHarridan Tue 25-Jun-13 09:19:58

I'm not keen on long hair on children if it is bothering them but if they don't mind having it washed and tied back when necessary I think it's fine.

It has never bothered me when people guess dd is a boy ( even when I was using a borrowed pink pram!)
Sometimes she's wearing 'boy' clothes sometimes she's wearing 'girl' clothes.

It did make me laugh one day when she was wearing a fairly flouncy pink dress with pink legging and a pink hat while sitting in a pink pram and a woman in the bus kept referring to her a he, even 20 mins into our journey when I have repeatedly referred to her as her/she but it still didn't upset me grin

mamapants Tue 25-Jun-13 09:21:14

It gets tiresome correcting people. And people tend to make a big song and dance about apologising.
Generally DS is wearing blue and tractors etc but gets called a girl about 98per cent of the time. However I was once told I needed to make it more obvious to the world when I dared dress him in purple hmm
I don't cut his hair because its cute and because he's too young to understand about staying still and I don't want to stab him with the scissors.

meganorks Tue 25-Jun-13 09:21:47

Not offended just sometimes so wonder how people assumed boy if wearing something particularly pink and flowery (which admittedly isn't very often). You can bet if I have a son and dress them in the same clothes I will get more people assuming girl! Doesn't matter though does it?
Would rather DD mistaken for boy than go with the dreaded headband....

jacks365 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:27:05

Dd4 was in a pink dress and pink blanket and kept getting referred to as a boy which I found funny and dd2 gets really offended at.

Spero Tue 25-Jun-13 09:28:08

I thought I didn't care at all but I got a bit miffed once when an old lady repeatedly referred to my daughter as 'he' at 9 months when she was swathed in pink. I suppose it's because my daughter did look like an angry potato for her first year and I was worried the implication was she wasn't very nice looking...

But I agree it is odd when people get cross. Had a case once where parents of a baby were fuming that foster carer had put their daughter in a blue sleep suit, almost claiming abuse. I tried to cut them some slack as obviously they were in a difficult situation, but you would think that concern would have been pretty low down their list of priorities...

FirstStopCafe Tue 25-Jun-13 09:31:29

My niece is often referred to as he because at 15 months she still has little hair. My sister isn't offended but is sometimes a bit perplexed when my niece is wearing a dress

Xmasbaby11 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:33:31

It doesn't bother me either! It happened a lot with DD - even if she wore pink - as she has very little hair. It did make me chuckle as I couldn't always be bothered to correct random strangers on the street. I do remember one time a little old lady followed us round Sainsbury's shouting 'He's a little heartbreaker isn't he! Bet he'll be chasing all the girls!' and thinking we really should have corrected her!

MiaowTheCat Tue 25-Jun-13 09:33:32

I don't know why - but it does irritate me slightly. Doesn't irritate me when DD1 is wearing something like an outfit she has that I really like her in at the moment which is jeans and a stripy blue top which could quite easily look like "boy clothes" (using the term just to describe the general mentality of people into what are boys and girls before someone jumps on me - you bloody well know what I mean so don't be arkward and do a 20 page sidetrack on it!), but when she's wearing a bloody dress and people just assume she's a boy because it's purple or yellow or something other than pink...yeah it kind of irritates me then - I don't know why, perhaps it's just the same as if someone got their names wrong a lot, feeling like a denial of her personality or something? (They don't usually notice DD2 as quickly since she's often on the lower seat on the pushchair - that's why I've missed her out on this - it very much seems to be DD1 that gets the brunt of it)

Annoyed me more when someone mistook me for their grandmother though!

BoysRule Tue 25-Jun-13 09:33:41

I think because I feel a bit embarrassed correcting them. Both DSs were mistaken for a girl (DS2 still is) as they have/had a lot of long hair. I don't really want to cut DS2s hair yet (he is just 12 months) as it feels too young. He has a pretty face and sometimes wears fairly neutral clothes (I am not a big fan of blue).

I think it is often impossible to tell girls and boys apart up to around 18 months/2 if they don't have obvious gender specific clothes on. I still get a bit upset though - I guess we are just protective about our DCs and in some way feel it is an insult. Although having read this I can see that is silly and will no longer be offended.

lemontwist Tue 25-Jun-13 09:40:05

Arf at angry potato. That sounds just like my DS2 in his first few months. Now at 18 months he has blonde ringlets and blue eyes and is often mistaken for a girl.

I once referred to a toddler as a boy when the father turned, shot me a venemous look and yelled "that little boy is a little girl" He'd obviously heard it often and wasn't happy held an enormous grudge

GreyWhites Tue 25-Jun-13 09:42:32

I really, really don't care, and I don't bother to correct strangers if they get it wrong. Babies and children all look pretty similar really when you remove all the gendered guff from around them. And its not like their sex is in any way relevant to their life at this stage, so it hardly matters.

I in fact actively really hate the gender apartheid in children's clothes which is so hysterically keen to impose gender roles onto kids that the only things I can find for my son are blue or brown items which fetishise forms of motorised transport, robots and dinosaurs and are emblazoned with statements about little monsters and cheeky monkeys.

And yes I feel a bit sorry for those newborns which are forced into headbands and ribbons or jeans and trainers etc just so their gender can be clearly sigposted. Really, what are their parents worried about?

IneedAyoniNickname Tue 25-Jun-13 10:59:12

Because people assuming my ds' were girls, and then exclaiming "oh but they're so cute!" as if boys are always ugly is ridiculous.
And making a song and dance out of the fact that my toddler son has a buggy and dolly is also ridiculous. NEWS FLASH, boys can play with dolls and girls can play with cars, and seeing them with a toy shouldn't make you assume their gender.

Other than that, it doesn't annoy me but when I was hormonal and tired with a new born it did.

NightmareWalking Tue 25-Jun-13 11:03:50

It never bothered me, did amuse me at the weekend when wearing blue and green - DD told what a pretty girl, the next day in pink and frills - what a cute boy! I don't usually correct people unless I'm having a longer conversation with them.

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