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AIBU to think Nigella has no right to feel frustrated?

(232 Posts)
GiveMumABreak Sun 23-Jun-13 21:25:01

'Nigella feels frustrated that the whole world has an opinion about something she feels is a private situation.'

'Nigella feels her hand has been forced.'

'Nigella told friends she wants to rebuild her troubled relationship with millionaire art collector Mr Saatchi and insisted: 'I am not some sort of battered wife.'

AIBU to think: She is a celebrity chef (and role model)who had her photo taken in a public place. We are shocked and concerned - not just nosey, or should the whole world just mind their own business (as she would clearly prefer)?

article here

saintmerryweather Sun 23-Jun-13 21:26:28

shes entitled to her feelings surely?

Shakey1500 Sun 23-Jun-13 21:27:29

I think she has a right to feel however she feels?

Whatever the situation, I think I would also feel hmm that seemingly thousands of people are discussing my business.

pictish Sun 23-Jun-13 21:27:35

I think Nigella has every right to feel however she pleases about it.
I don't agree with her...but her feelings are her right to have. Her marriage is not actually public property however much we might dissaprove of it.

MrGeresHamster Sun 23-Jun-13 21:27:39

YABU, she has a right to be frustrated that all and sundry have an opinion on her personal life. If she is in an abusive relationship, the scrutiny doesn't necessarily give her an easy way out...

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 23-Jun-13 21:28:10

YABU to post a link to the DM without a warning.

Buzzardbird Sun 23-Jun-13 21:28:19

She is entitled to her feelings as disallusioned as they might be

FourEyesGood Sun 23-Jun-13 21:28:43

I read an interesting piece in the Guardian over the weekend that suggested that any victim of domestic violence should not be put under pressure to respond in any way at all; that it should be entirely in her hands. It is her situation and her decision. Just because someone is in the public eye it does not mean that the public should be allowed to make huge decisions on his/her behalf.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 23-Jun-13 21:30:00


Were she not in the public eye she would not have to contend with complete and utter strangers talking about her on websites like this.

She doesn't have to like the everybody feels they know better than her what she should so next.

IrisScentedCandle Sun 23-Jun-13 21:30:31

I get what you're saying but if she was thinking clearly she would already have left him. Her thinking is distorted because she has normalised the abuse.

The night I left my abusive x, I cried because he would feel sorry for himself. She'll get there, I hope. But denial is a force field that disintegrate overnight.

IrisScentedCandle Sun 23-Jun-13 21:30:53

that doesn't disintegrate over night I mean

Pagwatch Sun 23-Jun-13 21:30:56

Jesus Christ. Leave the woman alone.

GiveMumABreak Sun 23-Jun-13 21:31:41

Oops I didn't realise bout the link to blush

Seems IABU blush

squeakytoy Sun 23-Jun-13 21:31:52

She was eating a meal in private, she has every right to expect the paparazzi not to be zooming their lenses in on her while she goes about her private life.

None of us other than her, and her husband, know what was going on.

If she had been in front of a camera being officially filmed it would be different, but that was not the case.

squeakytoy Sun 23-Jun-13 21:33:18

"I get what you're saying but if she was thinking clearly she would already have left him. Her thinking is distorted because she has normalised the abuse"

again, unless you know her personally and have witnessed any incidents then that is just idle speculation

dozily Sun 23-Jun-13 21:34:42

I haven't read it, but did she really say these things ot are they all from so-called "friends"?

GiveMumABreak Sun 23-Jun-13 21:35:34

I suppose you are quite right iris she will get to where she does in her own good time, even though her hand has been forced by these photos (which were taken in a public place, not a long lense into their home / garden etc)

ManifestoMT Sun 23-Jun-13 21:35:53

Billie holiday sums it up I think

Ain't Nobody's Business if I Do"

There ain't nothin' I can do or nothin' I can say
That folks don't criticize me but I'm going to do
Just as I want to anyway
And don't care just what people say

If I should take a notion, to jump into the ocean
Ain't nobody's business if I do
If I go to church on Sunday, then cabaret all day Monday
Ain't nobody's business if I do

If my man ain't got no money and I say, "Take all of mine, honey"

Ain't nobody's business if I do
If I give him my last nickel and it leaves me in a pickle
Ain't nobody's business if I do

Well, I'd rather my man would hit me
Than follow him to jump up and quit me
Ain't nobody's business if I do
I swear I won't call no copper, if I'm beat up by my papa
Ain't nobody's business if I do, nobody's business
Ain't nobody's business, nobody's business if I do

Purple2012 Sun 23-Jun-13 21:36:06

Yabu. It's not that simple for victims of abuse

Curiositykilledthecrap Sun 23-Jun-13 21:37:02

Why did that guy not pack the suitcase properly? Bit indiscreet?

IrisScentedCandle Sun 23-Jun-13 21:37:39

Right squeakytoy, so she hasn't normalised the abuse then. confused hmm

fengirl1 Sun 23-Jun-13 21:37:42

What Pag said. The poor woman has enough to deal with.

squeakytoy Sun 23-Jun-13 21:40:38

How do you know she has Iris? How exactly?

I am not saying that this was abuse, I am not saying it wasnt, because all I have seen is the same as you.. a few papparazzi shots that prove nothing at all.

IrisScentedCandle Sun 23-Jun-13 21:41:44

ps, and her husband doesn't know what was going on ffs. He believes it was a playful tiff, and he 'was there'. This obsession by the apologists for 'being there'. The photos show us what happened. There's no angle or explanation that makes it suddenly ok.

GiveMumABreak Sun 23-Jun-13 21:41:47

But squeaky...a public personality in a public restaurant, I don't think privacy can be expected.

Yes dozily as you say, so called "friends" made those statements hmm

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