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to be alarmed at the amount DH eats?

(97 Posts)
twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 22:44:07

I'm not quite sure how to even describe this in AIBU but here goes.

Every mealtime DH seems to eat enough for at least 2 people. I think he's forgotten what normal portion size is. When I express surprise at how much he's eating, he puts it down to not eating a proper lunch earlier, or some such reason.

I really don't want to comment all the time on what he eats, but I just sit there like shock thinking how does he think this is normal?

DH has never been 'normal size'. Since the 10 years we've been together his lightest weight has been 16 stone (at our wedding). He is at least 3-4 stone more now. He tried a(nother) diet earlier this year but falls off it if he goes away on business, holiday etc.

I feel sad too because it's affecting our sex life; I can't find him as sexy when he's so much bigger. I feel ashamed to admit this blush as I know physical appearance isn't the bee all.

His family have health problems relating to their size & lack of exercise. He knows he needs to lose weight. I fear for his future tbh - the longer it takes him to lose weight the harder it will be.

I support him fully in his diets etc, make dinners for me & DC that can be easily tailored to fit his diet; don't have any crap foods in the house, etc, but it's not enough. I know this is a sensitive topic but I just want to help him get his energy & zest for life back sad

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 22-Jun-13 22:46:51

Yanbu. It must be very hard for you. I would find that level of weight gain a total turn off.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 22:46:59

I take it he's cooking these huge meals for himself?

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sat 22-Jun-13 22:48:05

How does he feel about his weight?

Has he been tested for diabetes?

I had got a bit like him before I started low carbing. I just couldn't seem to eat enough. I could eat a large serving of pasta but not feel full, same with bread etc.

Low carbing has been a life saver. Literally.

HeySoulSister Sat 22-Jun-13 22:49:26

who does the food shop?

cees Sat 22-Jun-13 22:50:33

If he is the one cooking then get involved and only cook the amount you need, no extras, if your the cook then just put on the right portion sizes, no more.

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 22:51:01

I cook most meals (am SAHM) but he will eat all that's left, which could include a portion for my lunch the next day. Or he'll eat dinner then supper after DC are in bed confused

Tonight he ate more rice than I could eat for an entire meal. Plus we shared 3 mains and starters (we ate at a Thai place). Plus pudding.

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 22:53:33

Oh yes he's been low-carbing and Primal dieting, he did Atkins ages ago which was v effective but would be difficult to fit in with DC's meals now.
He knows the theory, just seems to've forgotten sad and just likes to eat

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 22:54:45

Can you just start cooking an exact amount and dish it up so that there are no leftovers?

I honestly think that the more people eat in one sitting, the more they eventually need to feel full.

Chunkamatic Sat 22-Jun-13 22:55:02

Then I think if you need to only cook the right amount for two people, you can make something else for your lunch.

If you are seriously worried about his health then you need to discuss it with him

specialsubject Sat 22-Jun-13 22:55:59

stop hinting and poncing around. Tell him what you've told us: 'you are eating way too much and getting huge.'

HeySoulSister Sat 22-Jun-13 22:57:01

suggest some exercise?

Chunkamatic Sat 22-Jun-13 22:57:17

Low carbing is not hard to fit in with family meal planning, just use a bit of imagination to substitute carbs if you need to.

What is your weight like?

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 22:57:53

I often do plate up his food for dinner, so he will just eat that amount. But then he'll start snacking again after DC's bedtime. I feel that if I comment each time it will seem like I'm being mean or controlling hmm
I don't know, I hate this whole situation.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Sat 22-Jun-13 22:58:27

"he did Atkins ages ago which was v effective but would be difficult to fit in with DC's meals now." Why? Cook for him and for DC - you have nothing else to do all day (and I mean that in a jokey/unserious/not getting at you way honestly - I'm a SAHM and I can easily manage different meals for DH and the children - they like different things and are hungry and ready for a meal at different times and we just "work it out" - it's not a problem really - just needs a bit of planning - and the slow cooker comes in very handy too grin)
(That said, I am not an advocate of Atkins, if you follow it religiously for a long time, you run a very real risk of ketosis and death in the extreme but if it works over a short term to give him that Kick Start and boost to get him going and determined to keep going, then it's good for a short while iyswim)

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 22:59:37

I'm just over 8 stone (5'3). I lost weight after recent DC due to strict but healthy diet (low carb/no cakes sad wink)

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 22:59:41

Yes but if you don't have any crap foods in the house, he'll be eating healthy snacks.

Therefore, just cooking enough for dinner and not too much may work?

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 23:00:56

I thought your body going into ketosis was the whole idea of Atkins?

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 23:01:16

Well he eats a lot of nuts. So sort of healthy snacks, but I suspect not in the quantity he consumes them.

Megsdaughter Sat 22-Jun-13 23:02:10

Get him to download MyFitnessPal app and log what hes eating, pulled me up sharp and made me realise how much I was eating.

Ive lost 60lb since Christmas with it.

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 23:02:39

He even has ketosticks for checking when his body is in ketosis. I think he's a bit deluded sad

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sat 22-Jun-13 23:04:55

He is not a child. All this talk of 'just cook enough for the meal', 'don't buy x'...

He's an adult, treat him like one. Tell him how you feel, tell him what you are prepared to do to help him, then let him get on with it. He will get his lightbulb moment when HE is ready.

Do encourage him to get tested for diabetes though if you can.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 23:06:42

Well 'just cook enough for the meal' is supporting him, is it not?

If there are no leftovers to eat, he can't eat them.

twosmallbuttons Sat 22-Jun-13 23:09:40

He has opened a jar of candied ginger recently in his desperation to eat something remotely treat-ish shock confused

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 23:12:24

Are there any underlying reasons do you think?

Boredom? Depression? Or just greed?

Some people do feel the need to constantly treat themselves all the time...whether that's to food/new clothes/new shoes or whatever.

I think getting to the reason behind it would help.

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