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to have found myself saying "will you please stop touching my shopping?"

(116 Posts)
ICBINEG Sat 22-Jun-13 13:39:55

Okay so ordinarily I would imagine anyone saying that to be a card carrying nutto control freak....but...

I have tried...I really make peace with the "can I help you with your packing" charity collecting gang that seem to be perpetually staking out the end of the tills in my local super market. I have tried to not feel imposed upon that I have to defend my right to pack my own bloody shopping while being made to feel guilty about it....

I have a system when packing...designed to get through the hairy bit before my toddler time bomb detonates as rapidly as possible. It is fast, it is efficient and it is my fucking shopping anyway (I digress).

So I have learnt to say, oh so very politely, that "no, I would not like any help with my packing". Which is exactly what I said today.

Normally this results in the charity packer moving out of the way, or even going to a different till end to help out there for a while...but not today.

Today's charity packing woman is determined to "own the space" at the end of the conveyor so that I cannot actually park my trolley there know...packing my stuff into it.

So I take the first two items and slot them into their assigned bags. When I look up she holding my quiche (well this is an MN story after all). She is looking at the bags like "which one does this go in", I look at her like "you don't know because it's MY fucking system" and hold out my hand for the quiche and file it correctly. The 4th and 5th items go in fine...but then one of my bags falls over and the extra second it takes me to right it, affords my nemesis the chance to snatch my eggs. I feel I cannot let this go without I not only hold my hand out to receive the eggs but remind the woman that " no, really I prefer to do this myself".

Things progress apace, without intervention, and I begin to relax, feeling the battle has been won. I then do what I always do, which is leave the soft squishy bread out on the end of the conveyor while I pack the heavier items first. This is a fatal mistake as it leads the charity packer to believe that some sort of cataclysmic packing failure has occurred that, presumably, can only be corrected with her assistance. She seizes this golden opportunity with both hands and proudly dumps my bread into the fridge back (on top of the milk and next to the raw meat etc.) and beams wildly in triumph.

Which is when I say the thing that no sane person in the history of the world has ever said.

""will you please stop touching my shopping?"

Is this it? Have I left sanity behind? AIBU?

grin I wish I could have seen that stand off

Wellthen Sat 22-Jun-13 13:42:38

Completely and utterly agree.

I have no toddler but I still have a fridge bag, cupboard bag etc.

Stupid woman.

StealthPolarBear Sat 22-Jun-13 13:42:47

I cant answer the sanity questiin as I fear I may have joined you but yanbu! I go shoppin with 2 young dcs, I do not struggle to pack my bags (apart from the odd time where I'm still unpacking as theyre going through) and I like to do it MYSELF

ICBINEG Sat 22-Jun-13 13:43:14

Well someone out there did....a bet she is an MNetter too...hence going for the quiche....if only I had bought Gin then it would have been a more statistically significant test!

StealthPolarBear Sat 22-Jun-13 13:44:58

Sory who in the story is that?

burberryqueen Sat 22-Jun-13 13:46:01


ICBINEG Sat 22-Jun-13 13:46:34

Oh I meant I think the charity packer was an MNetter....she looked "the type", and went for the quiche....

Montybojangles Sat 22-Jun-13 13:47:33

Fuck me, you were far more restrained than I would have been! I could feel myself getting worked up just reading that. I would probably have helped her to wear the bloody quiche if she had touched my shopping, there's no way she would have thought about touching a second item. Even the OH knows better than to try to "help" me pack my shopping!

StealthPolarBear Sat 22-Jun-13 13:48:02

Surely not!
Unless she left yur billy bear ham for yiu to pack, with a little curl of her lip?

amandine07 Sat 22-Jun-13 13:48:22

Switch to online shopping OP! wink

ICBINEG Sat 22-Jun-13 13:48:47


DoJo Sat 22-Jun-13 13:49:25

That's why I love the self scan shopping at my local Tesco - I can pack as I go, and you don't have that horrid bit where you can't really pay attention to the barely contained beast small person in the trolley. We have a bag packer at my local small supermarket who always quizzes me on what I'm going to make and how to prepare the food I'm buying which I find strangely endearing, but only because I'm never buying more than a basket full of stuff.

Pimpf Sat 22-Jun-13 13:52:07

Have you calmed down now?

Btw, yanbu. If you'd started of with that then yes, that was rude, but you'd politely refused her offer of help. More than once so I thin you were totally justified

Sleepyfergus Sat 22-Jun-13 13:54:56

YANBU. We frequently have clubs/ youth groups offering to pack (raising money for some trip or something) and the kids clearly couldn't give a toss how to pack and makes the thing a whole lot more stressful than it needs to be. I'm happy to chuck a couple of quid in their bucket to stay the fuck away from my shopping!

limitedperiodonly Sat 22-Jun-13 13:58:32


I once said: 'I am putting this in the hands of my solicitor,' to someone who was being really difficult. I should have instructed my solicitor to go for punitive damages to compensate me for having to say something so wanky.

ICBINEG Sat 22-Jun-13 14:01:24

oh yes....I would pay them to stay away...but I don't think that will work. In fact I think giving them anything at all will make them more likely to come back.

Although there is ALWAYS someone doing this at my local. I don't think the density of charity packers can possibly maybe it is safe to chuck them some change after all.

And yes I am feeling much better now...nothing like a good ol' MN rant to calm the nerves.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 14:05:32


But "Can you stand back and give me some room please?" might have been shorter than writing a book about it.

MissStrawberry Sat 22-Jun-13 14:05:36


I always say no thank you as I also have a system and I hate being blackmailed into giving money.

What did the woman do or say when you asked her to stop touching your shopping?

BalloonSlayer Sat 22-Jun-13 14:06:27

I always say no too, I don't want some gormless adolescent putting the potatoes on top of the eggs.

However I always use the excuse that my DS1 has bad food allergies and I am very fussy about where I put stuff in my bags. Which is true

If I had explained that and someone didn't listen and chucked a pint of milk or tub of dairy ice cream in a bag with DS1 stuff in it, I would (if in a bad mood) insist the shop replaced it all. Ha! grin

Sleepyfergus Sat 22-Jun-13 14:07:24

Sigh, yet again the same person I see on countless other threads has an additional gripe about the OP, AGAIN. If you didn't want to read it then don't.

StealthPolarBear Sat 22-Jun-13 14:08:49

What? Who has a gripe?

Dawnywoo Sat 22-Jun-13 14:10:14


This is why I now have shopping delivered. (Waitrose have different bags with FRIDGE and FREEZER written on them. Its great)

The second most annoying supermarket issue is the irritating energy sellers.

You shall have to come up with a line to use on them next!

AmberSocks Sat 22-Jun-13 14:12:09



why on earth does anyone go shopping in supermarkets,do it online!

ICBINEG Sat 22-Jun-13 14:12:21

The answers to two posts over lap. Having asked that she please stop touching my shopping, she did indeed back away from the end of the till.

And yes, if it had crossed my mind that it was actually necessary, I would indeed have asked her to move at the start instead of the end of this saga....

But really worra , what would you do all day if people like me weren't writing books for you to comment on?

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