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To resent H telling his mother DC's sex?

(213 Posts)
OrangeJuiceSandwich Sat 22-Jun-13 12:33:17

We found out at the 20 week scan on the very clearly expressed understanding that we wouldn't tell anyone else as I wanted a suprise but he'd didn't. So this was the compromise.

But of course Mummy's boy of the century just told her when she asked sad

I really, really don't like her anyway. When question H says 'oh well she asked so I couldn't lie'. No?! But you lied to my face when you said you wouldn't tell anyone... That's ok obviously. heaven forbid Mummy should actually have to wait to find out.

AIBU to be fucking furious. I've not told anyone, obviously. I wanted this to just be between us, but it's not. Why does she have the right to know what the sex is? It's not her baby. I have realised so very clearly that he would much rather I be upset and annoyed than actually have to tell her that we are not telling people right now but she'll find out in due course.

Trifle Sat 22-Jun-13 12:35:59

For goodness sake, it's either going to be a boy or a girl. Just because you wanted to keep it secret doesnt mean he has to as well. What's the big deal on the secrecy anyway, really, does anyone care what sex it is.

OrangeJuiceSandwich Sat 22-Jun-13 12:37:03

Well obviously enough for her to ask, right?!

Fairyegg Sat 22-Jun-13 12:38:51

Yannbu, sounds like your dh has his priorities wrong. Reckon once you know it will be quite hard to keep quiet though.

PurpleBlossom Sat 22-Jun-13 12:39:48

YANBU as such because you had an agreement and he should have stuck to it. But be pissed off with DH, not MIL.

FWIW DH did a similar thing to me and told all his family our preferred name when we said we would wait till the baby had been born. I was really angry with him and what made it worse is that MIL kept referring to our unborn child by said name when we hadn't even decided for define angry

So what are you going to do now! Tell everyone the sex or still try and keep it quiet?

Roastbeefandyorkshires Sat 22-Jun-13 12:40:06

I would be annoyed had reached a compromise and he decided to ignore that and tell her anywayhmm

OrangeJuiceSandwich Sat 22-Jun-13 12:41:12

Well she'll tell everyone. She has absolutely zero self control.

PurpleBlossom Sat 22-Jun-13 12:42:36

I'd start telling people myself then. You'll feel less annoyed if it's you doing the telling.

usualsuspect Sat 22-Jun-13 12:42:43

I think you finding out and not telling anyone is a bit ridiculous tbh.

I always think you need to grow up and realise that she will be your childs grandma.

TheSecondComing Sat 22-Jun-13 12:42:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Jun-13 12:43:02

YANBU if you both agreed not to tell anyone, he shouldn't have broken that pact.

But YABU to call him 'Mummy's boy of the century'

That's just a sexist term for a man that's close to his Mum.

No-one ever calls women 'Mummy's girls' if they have a close relationship with their Mums.

Goldmandra Sat 22-Jun-13 12:44:17

The issue isn't whether anyone should care what sex a baby is.

The issue is that the OP and her DH agreed that they would keep something to themselves because that was important to her and her DH decided to disregard her feelings rather than risk a little awkwardness with his mother.

It doesn't bode particularly well for after the baby is born.

elliejjtiny Sat 22-Jun-13 12:44:52

YANBU. DH likes to tell people everything and it really annoys me. Last year my periods stopped because I was so stressed about DS2 starting school (he has SN) and DH was on the phone to his brother about it, argh.

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong Sat 22-Jun-13 12:45:37

Nobody else is as remotely interested in the fact that you are having a baby as you think you know.

When people tell me they are having a boy or a girl I just nod politely and say lovely.

If they were to tell me it was going to be a duck billed platypus it might be a tad more noteworthy. But you know, there is really nothing new under the sun....and if you are getting so Mumzilla over this, god help you all when your MIL tries to <insert any normal grandma stuff> ....

OrangeJuiceSandwich Sat 22-Jun-13 12:45:43

I just don't see why she needs to know everything. Surely the point of a compromise is to, you know, compromise. Now he has what he wants and yet again, I just have to live with it.

I'm so very very sick of her knowing everything about me. Surely I have the right to keep private whatever I decide? But no. H tells he everything, the result of every blood test I have not just pregnancy related... He told her something important I'd found out about MY family and she told literally everyone she knew.

mumblechum1 Sat 22-Jun-13 12:45:50

If you are having a boy, you should remember that one day you'll be a MIL and will be interested in your grandchildren, and also that you will never stop loving your son and being interested in him, either.

sweetestcup Sat 22-Jun-13 12:46:07

Be annoyed ay DH, its hardly your MILs fault for being curious, I think because you don't like her anyway you are focusing more on it. Personally I don't see what all the secrecy is about either.

Trills Sat 22-Jun-13 12:47:13

YANBU to be annoyed that an adult said they would do one thing (not tell anyone) and then did another (told someone).

It's not about whether anyone needs to know. It's about people doing what they say they will do.

expatinscotland Sat 22-Jun-13 12:48:15

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

OrangeJuiceSandwich Sat 22-Jun-13 12:49:32

TheBirds well she is clearly interested as she asked!

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong Sat 22-Jun-13 12:49:54

This is so not going to end well.

Have you always hated her OP?

expatinscotland Sat 22-Jun-13 12:50:07

Because it's her grandchild. Duh.

expatinscotland Sat 22-Jun-13 12:50:35

Another thread to warm the cockles of us mothers of sons.

Lavenderloves Sat 22-Jun-13 12:51:04

I always think it's odd to find out and not tell.
I also think its odd when people expect you to keep it a secret from them ( looking at you mil) who could keep that a secret for months?

I think its the beginning of bigger problems as Mummys boy hasn't got his priorities right. Good luck you are going to need it.
Tell people yourself.

Hulababy Sat 22-Jun-13 12:51:04

YANBU to be cross with your Dh for doing something he said he wouldn't.
It sounds like you and your DH have some issues regarding his relationship with his mum. Maybe try to work on those together somehow, especially before baby comes.

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