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daughter given choc cake at scool, she is allergic to cows' milk.

(201 Posts)
MyNameIsRio Sat 22-Jun-13 08:03:45

That. They all know. Had their new teacher (who they will be having next year) for Fri afternoon and she was given birthday cake. Her own teacher has a stack of her own snacks. Now do I write to new teacher and headteacher?

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp Tue 25-Jun-13 22:54:04

Am wondering how Op got on with discussing this with the teacher/HT, please come back and let us know OP. <if you haven't fled to the allergy board never to return, and I wouldn't blame you at all if you did, this thread is er, disappointing in some of the comments).

ThatsNotMyDinosaur Tue 25-Jun-13 22:29:43

OP you need to speak to the school.
This time they slipped up and gave her some cake with baked in milk, probably she only consumed a small amount of milk and why she has an upset stomach and nothing much else. A lucky escape, the new teacher could have given her some chocolate and you might have spent the rest of the day in A&E.

Next time if they slip up with a ham sandwich, forgetting it has butter or margarine in it, the consequences could be much, much worse.

The issue isn't about how ill it did or didn't make her, the issue is that they failed to protect her.

I'm all for the child learning to check themselves by asking if food is safe, but at 4 that is just baby steps towards getting them to take some responsibility for their condition as they grow up. At 4, the responsibility to check foods lies squarely with the teacher.

babybarrister Tue 25-Jun-13 21:35:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiaowTheCat Mon 24-Jun-13 09:22:48

If the teacher is, as in the OP, the new teacher doing a class visit for the day - they're no doubt not likely to even be physically IN the school again until the end of term now so no wonder the TA has been left with the clearup!

BalloonSlayer Mon 24-Jun-13 06:43:37

The teacher probably genuinely just didn't think and feels awful.

In that case the teacher should have spoken to the OP and told her what had happened and apologised profusely. It appears to have been left to the TA. hmm

TheSecondComing Sun 23-Jun-13 22:55:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greenbananas Sun 23-Jun-13 19:46:50

(When I say complain in writing, what I really mean is that you should maybe make an appointment to see theheadteacher and go with a letter in your hand, so that you can smile and explain that you want to supportthe school in doing everything they can to keep your daughter and all other children with allergies and other special needs safe while they are in school. Obviously you should be as helpful as possible - any school worthy of their funding will bend over backwards to reassure you that this will never happen again. )

greenbananas Sun 23-Jun-13 19:30:02

Rio, so glad your daughter is okay.

Wading in late here, but want to say you are absolutely not being hysterical. So sad that so many people are just saying there was no harm done.

Of course the teacher made an honest mistake. .. nobody would do a thing like this on purpose! Going against the grain, but I would put a complaint in writing, possibly to the governors, asking for the school procedures to be reviewed. An "honest mistake" like this could have resulted in a very serious reaction and could possibly even kill a child.

I agree with those who are saying that young children are capable of telling people that they have allergies. My own 4 year old has severe multiple allergies and I am confident that he would not eat anything which had not been okayed by me or his dad. However, it is simply not on to expect a smallchild to take this level of responsibility. The teacher should have been made aware of your daughter's allergy.

Seriously, I would complain to the school in writing. The procedures failed, and that is a problem they should be addressing. By making a calm and well-managed fuss about this, you could prevent your daughter having a more serious reaction another time, and you might even save the life of a child in the future

And do come over to the allergy board smile.

valiumredhead Sun 23-Jun-13 18:17:10

In not out

valiumredhead Sun 23-Jun-13 18:16:55

I wouldn't complain, but I would put out in writing so of it ever happens again you have something to refer to. I would see the teacher and the head and adopt the tone of 'I know it was a mistake and you wouldn't do anything to hurt dd on purpose but we must make sure this doesn't happen again etc etc.'

Scholes34 Sun 23-Jun-13 17:53:11

Not a complaint to the Head, but a polite reminder.

valiumredhead Sun 23-Jun-13 17:42:55

Oh yes because 4 year old are well known for doing as they are toldhmm

At 4a child trusts an adult knows what they are doing, it's not until later when they are older they know to question it.

insancerre Sun 23-Jun-13 16:20:24

* I would be hard pushed to remember the allergies of each child. Also, at 4, I guess your DD knows she can't eat cake? So why did she?*

So now it's the child's fault?
As for remembering the allergies of each child, when it's your job to look after them day after day, you do remember them.

Sirzy Sun 23-Jun-13 16:09:45

I'm nearly 30 and we has sweets for people's birthdays, cakes made in school, things from teachers at holidays etc. so it isn't a new thing.

My sister has a nut allergy and is triggered by them in the environment so the school had a no nuts policy, my parents also provided a bag of "safe" snacks for her. Thankfully she only had one reaction in school (which happened when someone flouted the "no nuts please" rule)

chillinwithmyyonis Sun 23-Jun-13 16:05:29

I've not read the whole read, but I can predict many of the responses. My dd has started reception this year, she hasn't any allergies thankfully, but the amount of non-lunchbox food she's had exposure to is frankly ridiculous. Every time its someones birthday, christmas, easter, a teacher is leaving, a teachers birthday, baking lessons, playtime cake sales.

If not for all that crap, which it is as its just junk food, it'd be easy to manage a child's allergies as you'd only have to worry about a fruit snack in the morning and their lunchbox and making sure they don't eat anyone elses food.

It was not like that when I was at school, and I'm only 28, this is a stupid recent tradition.

The reason it worrys me is that my ds is only 2 and is allergic to peanuts and dairy for which he requires an epipen. God know what we'll do when it comes to him starting school. I may have his allergies tatooed on his forehead.

MiaowTheCat Sun 23-Jun-13 15:37:56

The teacher probably genuinely just didn't think and feels awful. How you choose to approach that aspect is up to you.

However, and I'm speaking as an ex supply teacher here, what I'd suggest is worth doing if the school haven't done something already for the CLASSROOM (there's usually a wall with this stuff on in the staffroom but lots of supplies don't make it down there) - with your child's photo, name on and a brief explanation of "I have an allergy to milk" plus a list of some of the things that this has an impact upon - and some of the less obvious stuff that may be likely to appear in a primary classroom (it's only now I'm faced with allergy issues with DD2 that I'm really starting to get clued up as to what sneaks into what foodstuff myself). Might also (you shouldn't have to in an ideal world yes but we don't live in one) be worth doing what a former colleague did and buying a small multipack of something "treaty" that your child CAN eat and asking the teacher to keep them in their cupboard for future occasions when treats are being given out that might not be suitable (I'm thinking of occasions like when birthday treats come into class - that sort of thing).

valiumredhead Sun 23-Jun-13 15:28:08

This thread just shows the ignorance surrounding allergies.

OP I would put it in writing, at 4 it is 100% the adult's responsibility to ensure allergic children aren't given food that will make them ill.

As they get older they learn to remind people they are allergic,4 is too young to be responsible enough. I still have to remind my ds now and again and he's 12 although friends assure me he is very good at checking when he's away from home.

One thing that ds's primary school did was have a pic of children with allergies on the wall so any one new coming into the class room could instantly check before giving out food.

Altinkum Sun 23-Jun-13 15:23:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pancakeflipper Sun 23-Jun-13 15:02:57

MrsLouisT - my 4 yr old is brilliant at telling people he is dairy-free. But it's bloody confusing for me neither mind him. Unless you have the packaging it is impossible to know if dairy is in.

For example some Jaffa cakes don't have dairy in. Some do. Same with jammie dodgers, same with jam tarts, same with those individual apple and blackberry pies, same with crisps, same with bread, same with oven chips, same with ham, same with sausages, same with chicken, etc etc..... Some do and some don't.

I make dairy-free chocolate brownies and chocolate cake for my DS2 so I have to explain our version is ok but any other wont be. For a 4 yr old it is not an easy concept.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 23-Jun-13 10:17:00

Hello there

Thanks for the reports about this thread. Please remember our Talk Guidelines. We don't think it's on that people should be accused of being hysterical because they're worried about their child's health.


MyNameIsRio Sun 23-Jun-13 09:39:50

MrsLouis - she probably ate ate it because she was given it. Perhaps it looked delicious. She has her "own" versions of cake - also given to her at school as I give them absolutely loads.

Thank you for so many helpful replies. I have looked on the allergy board now and am so pleased to have found it.

OhForDUCKS - I have tried to pm you but I don't know if it has worked.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning Sun 23-Jun-13 08:47:45

I think people are getting a bit confused, the op doesn't need you to believe she has an allergy.

Op thank god it wasn't worse. Has she has reactions to cooked dairy before? When dd was being tested they said sometimes reactions can be different when cooked.

I think you do need to go. The truth is the process has failed, they and you are lucky it was such a mild reaction but next time might not be so lucky.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 23-Jun-13 08:34:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiptapkeyboard Sun 23-Jun-13 08:09:33

This thread is terrible. Shocked at the advice given by TSC!

It could be that because it was cooked and a tiny amount the reaction was just mild. Allergies are funny things and can depend sometimes on what form the food is in. Cooking can denature some proteins that cause the problems.

Yes speak to them and remind them.

Your DD could carry a card with her in her bag stating she allergic to X if she shy speaking.

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 23-Jun-13 07:54:52

chocolate buttons on the cake even.

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