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To NOT book DD a pamper party? She's DESPERATE apparently.

(143 Posts)
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 21-Jun-13 20:36:18

She's about to turn 9. She was/is a very shy child but this year has seen something of a turnaround. In fact I hardly recognise her. hmm

She's got some lovely friends old and new...she appears to be turning into a "pink and girly" girl and is asking for a pamper party....where they have a "makeover" etc.

I want her to have a pottery painting party.

AIBU not to do the pamper thing? It's going agin the grain!

BuntyCollocks Fri 21-Jun-13 20:39:39

YABU. It's her birthday.

IsThisAGoodIdea Fri 21-Jun-13 20:44:23

Where did she even learn the word "pamper"? confused

DeskPlanner Fri 21-Jun-13 20:44:30

YANBU, horrible idea, hate this sort of thing. But it is the sort of thing to help her confidence. Sits on fence

BabyDubsEverywhere Fri 21-Jun-13 20:46:20

If she wants a pamper party, and that's what her and her friends have got in mind a pottery painting party is going to go down like a lead balloon!!

If you don't want to do the pamper party, (can't blame you, but I probably would - it is her birthday after all) do something else that's a bit more grown up as that is clearly what she is angling for. How about a pamper day with you... find a spa day where you could have a massage, a swim, lunch perhaps? or a cinema trip, or ice skating?? Pottery painting is for very young children or adults, not DC who are becoming preteens.

WafflyVersatile Fri 21-Jun-13 20:46:33

In a couple of years she'll want to be a goth and you will look back on this time with fond nostalgia.

AnaisB Fri 21-Jun-13 20:48:00

I understand why some people might not want a pamper party for their DD, but why do you want her to do a pottery painting party?

YANBU (but paint your own pottery if you're that into it!)

runningonwillpower Fri 21-Jun-13 20:48:08

I totally hate this sort of thing. But....

for a shy girl coming out of her shell I would go for the pamper thing. It's going to be pink nail varnish and glitter - what the hell.

reddaisy Fri 21-Jun-13 20:49:52

Let her have a pamper party if that is what she wants! I am a feminist but feminism is about women having a choice and a pamper party is what she wants to choose!

CaptainSweatPants Fri 21-Jun-13 20:50:12

A disco would be better than pottery
You could paint nails during it

pictish Fri 21-Jun-13 20:51:31


I often feel as though the anti pink thing goes too far, whereby little girls are no longer allowed to enjoy being girly at all anymore.

If it's what she really wants and cost isn't an issue, I don't see the problem.

Bejeena Fri 21-Jun-13 20:53:06

I think you are unreasonable yes, it is her birthday after all. I am not saying I agree with pamper parties but she is 9 and it is an impressionable age, not like 5 when one day she is into this and next day into that. It is easy to make an impression on other 9 year olds and this is what she wants to do. It will probably boost her confidence no end.

Give her the pamper party and go pottery painting with her on your own if you want her to do it that much

BsshBossh Fri 21-Jun-13 20:53:18

YABU. She's coming out of her shell finally. If "pampering" is what it takes to make her feel good both within herself and amongst her group then let her. She'll be a surly, black-wearing teen soon so you'll never have to see pink and glitter again!

josephinebruce Fri 21-Jun-13 20:56:17

9 years old and a pamper party? Fucking hell.

pictish Fri 21-Jun-13 20:57:36

What's wrong with it Josephine?

soverylucky Fri 21-Jun-13 20:59:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soverylucky Fri 21-Jun-13 21:01:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish Fri 21-Jun-13 21:03:21

She was bored? Even though she had other children for company?
I've never known my kids to be bored at any type of party when there are other kids to hang out with.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 21-Jun-13 21:06:13

My Dd has been to one of these things....the one I looked at when coerced by her was an "older" girls aimed at 10 year olds. It seems to be hair and nails, a little makeup and then "cocktails" hmm

I dunno. Some friends in her class have had pottery parties this year...they're "young" 9s and 10s. Not a sophisticated bunch. I just don't know. She doesn't want bowling either. I won't do sleepovers. Not going there!

RhondaJean Fri 21-Jun-13 21:06:32

YAbu. I agree with waffle. My dd1 had a pamper party for her 9th birthday, she now lives in black and while I know this is a phase too I'm glad she ha the glittery phase.

Mind you, Im all for a bit of nail art and glitter eyeshadow, spray in hair colour etc, not the one I read about on here this week where children were getting ears pierced and fake tans!

Growlithe Fri 21-Jun-13 21:07:25

I looked at the title of the thread and was going to come on here to say their minds can be changed if you sell them another idea smartly enough.

Then I read she was turning 9 and was coming out of her shell. I've got a 9 yo girl. It's a very funny age. Mine is becoming more image conscious in that her hair has to be just so for school, with a nice hairband. I think this helps her self esteem so I took her to get a good haircut in a slightly more grown up style and I'm loving the effect it's having on her confidence, even though deep down I want to lecture her that having nice hair is not the be all of everything.

I don't know your DD, but I'm guessing this sort of party would do wonders for her too, in terms of making her feel more grown up.

Boomba Fri 21-Jun-13 21:08:34

Over my cold dead body, will my dds have a fucking pamper party. Yeuck

PearlyWhites Fri 21-Jun-13 21:08:40

Yabu she is your dd she is not you and maybe she doesn't like pottery.A couple of hours playing with make up at a party is no different to a three year old putting on mummy's heels it's just dress up.
If your dd actually wanted to wear make up the rest of the time that would be different.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 21-Jun-13 21:09:06

I hear you IS important that she's given room for self expression.;

Boomba Fri 21-Jun-13 21:13:59

My dd is as pink and glittery and ghettotastic as is possible. I have no doubt that her adult life will revolve around shoes and bags.


But a 9 year old shouldn't be encoraged to preempt and titivate as a birthday treat, or for confidence. They should be our having fun. Exercise is great for confidence. Do a roller skating party, iceskating, swimming, founders in the park, bike ride, cinema....there's loads of options

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