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(31 Posts)
goodasgold Fri 21-Jun-13 00:15:56

I find this awful, I think it's a way to control somebody. I don't understand how it's fun to be tickled. Go on, I asked it AIBU?

SolidGoldBrass Fri 21-Jun-13 14:14:39

As with anything, whether or not it's abusive depends on whether a person will stop when asked to. Even kissing can be abusive, if it's done by an abuser (the man who kisses his wife in public to put on a big act of being wonderful, when he's abusing her in private, for example - let alone the sort of creeps who want to kiss you under the mistletoe and get all arsy when you duck away...).

I think a lot of abusive people like things that allow them to touch other people in ways that are generally interpreted as friendly, because it's harder to refuse or reject any kind of touch that is supposed to be friendly without making yourself look grumpy and rude...

But my pet hate is massage. I have occasionally hit people for trying to give me shoulder rubs when I don't want them to do so.

DorisShutt Fri 21-Jun-13 14:30:29

My DS loves it - but our family stop tickling him when he asks so he trusts us and will often yell "stop" then catch his breath and call for more.

I hate it. I tolerate DS doing it, but again I am teaching him to stop when I ask an because I stop when he asks, he is understanding that he has to do the same.

I do not allow anyone else near me, DH gets carried away and doesn't stop when I ask so I don't trust him and my parents were the same; the only slightly weird exception is my BIL who stops when I ask.

livinginwonderland Fri 21-Jun-13 14:41:03

I think it depends. DP and I get in playfights a lot and he tickles me, but I know he'll stop when I say, and vice-versa. My only rule is not to touch my feet, because I won't be responsible for the bloody nose/kick in the nuts you'll get as a result!

AnnoyedAtWork Fri 21-Jun-13 14:47:44

An ex,who was totally EA and controlling, often did it till I was helpless and begging. I hate it ��

lazarusb Fri 21-Jun-13 16:44:09

SGB I think any kind of unwanted touching is abhorrent. I wouldn't want a shoulder rub from someone unless I'd specifically asked for it either! I can't stand the hugging from friends or casual acquanitances, it just isn't me. Yet people think because they like it, it's ok to inflict it on you. Any tickling of me is now definitely done only on my terms grin I have been known to quite very angry with people who try to get at my feet because they know I can't stand it.

Thumbtack Fri 21-Jun-13 16:52:41

Being tickled makes me wee myself.

I hate it.

My siblings used to do it to me and it was a horrible feeling of losing self control.

For me there is nothing worse than being made to helplessly lose self control!

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