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To expect other drivers to be considerate enough to leave me room to get my baby in the car when they park?

(198 Posts)
VRBennett83 Thu 20-Jun-13 20:09:44

So this morning I went to the baby group I attend every Thursday, had a lovely time, then did a spot of shopping at the local shops before returning to my parked car, only to find a man driving a white van had parked so close to my passenger side that I couldn't get my four month old baby in! I had to climb into the back seat from the other side, whilst lifting the car seat with my little heavy lump in it. I even left the car at a slight angle just in case someone did park next to me, so I would have enough room, but he parked so close I could hardly get it open!

The man returns to his white van whilst I am putting my shopping away. I then start putting my pram down, and he starts inching his bonnet closer and closer to my bum, as he clearly thinks I am inconveniencing HIM and getting in HIS way! I make a point standing up and asking him if I am indeed in his way. He winds down the passenger side window and asks me if I have a problem. I point out that yes, I do. I told him he parked so close to my car that I had to struggle with my baby in through the wrong side of the car. Then what? Ah, yes, he gives ME the abuse! First he tells me I parked there after him. Erm, no mate. I parked up about two hours ago and parked in this space which was clear either side. He goes ranting on at me, I simply repeat that he had parked so chuffin close to my car I had to struggle with my baby and he tells me "Well I am in a van, you t**t". No, seriously. He appeared to believe that his having a wider vehicle meant that he had to give no consideration to how much room he leaves either side for others. He then told me that I shouldn't take it out on him if I had had a bad day. I promptly point out that I had had a lovely day until he came into my life.

I am so proud of myself for not swearing at him mind you.

Is it me or should people give me the same courtesy I give them? I never park in a space if I think it is too close to another car. What if that person was disabled and needed help getting into their car? Or what if, heaven forbid, that person had a baby and needed room to get that baby in the car? The amount of room he left me I wouldn't have got my dog in there! Is it also me being unreasonable to expect strangers to be polite to each other, apologise if they cause offence in some way and treat others as they wish to be treated?

Rant over smile

arethereanyleftatall Thu 20-Jun-13 21:30:09

fgs, over the years I have lowered babies in through the boot, on the wrong sides of cars, edged out first to get them in, countless times. It really wasn't the end of the world. Do what you need to do, then get over it.

EvenEducatedFleasDoIt Thu 20-Jun-13 21:40:38

Sorry OP, but driving standards in this country are so poor over all that parking too close to another car is really tiny beer. As someone else posted, just get over it and on with it.

Goldenbear Thu 20-Jun-13 21:41:04

YANBU - all that was needed was a bit of consideration and he clearly wouldn't have given that to anyone if he parked his van in a way that allowed him plenty of access. It is just common sense, parking bays are usually not ample so try and accurately park in the middle of them.

He sounds like a very selfish, obnoxious mysoginist, owing to the fact that he felt he had a right to call you a 'tart' over a parking space argument!

Goldenbear Thu 20-Jun-13 21:43:56

'Driving standards in this country' - speak for yourself. Equally, that suggests as opposed to others- where is the nation of top notch drivers and is this categorical evidence you speak of?

LadyFlumpalot Thu 20-Jun-13 21:47:08

I mostly don't park in spaces that look to be narrow. This doesn't have much to do with consideration for others though and more to do with not wanting another dent in my door from someone usually trying to put a kid in their car slamming their door into mine.

VivaLeBeaver Thu 20-Jun-13 21:47:31

You do need to get a grip, sorry.

Parking spaces are small these days and blocking a passenger side of a car is sometimes hard to avoid if no other spaces about.

If you'd had a passenger and they couldn't get in then you'd have got your car out the space and then the passenger would have got in. It's not rocket science.

You managed to get the baby in from the other side, bit annoying but hardly the end of the world.

EvenEducatedFleasDoIt Thu 20-Jun-13 21:49:00

GoldenBear I will indeed speak for myself! Driving standards ARE really poor. That isn't news just in, with the stats re carnage on the roads.
No it isn't a comparative comment at all. We have fewer deaths than other countries yes of course, but that doesn't mean we aren't a nation of really poor drivers.
Having difficulty getting a child on one occasion into a car due to someone's bad parking practices is peanuts. [looking for the 'get a grip' icon. fails]

EvenEducatedFleasDoIt Thu 20-Jun-13 21:49:58

and along come Viva with a cross post grip!grin

Goldenbear Thu 20-Jun-13 21:57:04

The OP said he had parked in a way that allowed him plenty of access to open his door- he was being selfish. Of course it is not the 'end of the world' but the lack of consideration and the outright aggressive 'tart' comment just unnecessarily add to everyday irritations.

'Fewer deaths' on the roads is surely a good indicator of driving standards?

EvenEducatedFleasDoIt Thu 20-Jun-13 22:05:56

Nooo it ISN'T a good indicator of driving standards. Because we kill fewer people doesn't make us 'good'! IT makes us better than the rest (mostly), which isn't 'good'.
Yesterday I waited at lights on my bike and set off on green, only to be hit head on by some ejit who tried to get through to turn right across me, when his light had been showing red for 4-5 seconds. No immediate damage and I stayed upright, announced "You are a fucking cunt" into his wound down window, and rode off. That sort of thing happens a lot. So no, we are truly rubbish drivers. Despite how people self-describe themselves.
Hence the 'get a grip' idea about this stuff. iyswim

grimbletart Thu 20-Jun-13 22:09:24

EvenEducatedFleas: having driven in many countries round the world, I could never bring myself to say we are poor drivers. Yes, there are poor drivers here but talking population-wise there are countries where the standards of driving are utterly horrendous - you mention carnage - some countries give a whole new meaning to the word (sad)

And as usual on MN, anyone who expects anything better than being treated like absolute shite by strangers is entitled.

BackforGood Thu 20-Jun-13 22:13:06

Where the spaces are quite narrow (and I should imagine that's most spaces if you are driving a van) then it makes total sense to park so the passenger doors are close so the drivers can get in and out. The driver can always get in and move the car for the passenger to get in afterwards, but if the driver can't get in, it's more tricky.
Don't quite get the bit about how you were standing in front of his bonnet.

Goldenbear Thu 20-Jun-13 22:13:48

The OP said he had parked in a way that allowed him plenty of access to open his door- he was being selfish. Of course it is not the 'end of the world' but the lack of consideration and the outright aggressive 'tart' comment just unnecessarily add to everyday irritations.

'Fewer deaths' on the roads is surely a good indicator of driving standards?

apostropheuse Thu 20-Jun-13 22:14:02

I would love to know why the colour of his van was relevant. You mentioned that a couple of times in your OP. Would you have mentioned it if it was a different colour or are you anti-white-vans and their owners?
Are you trying to stereotype people who own white vans perchance?

Do you think it's acceptable to have this kind of attitude in this day and age? I'm quite frankly astounded.


Alisvolatpropiis Thu 20-Jun-13 22:15:10

I initially thought ywbu and entitled (sorry) but your second post was clearer.

Whilst of course it isn't the end of the world and you will just have to deal it with...in the moment it would have annoyed me as well. I don't understand why people can't take the extra 30 seconds to park properly. It's between the white lines not on one of them. Hardly brain surgery.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 20-Jun-13 22:17:10

golden fewer deaths on the road could be just as easily linked to faster emergency service response times as good driving.

I have little faith in the majority of my fellow road users. So many seem to have big expensive new cars that have been designed without indicators for example.

EvenEducatedFleasDoIt Thu 20-Jun-13 22:17:23

oh sure grimbletart tho' as I had said, killing fewer people than others doesn't make us 'good' Just comparatively, 'not really shit'. smile

LittleBearPad Thu 20-Jun-13 22:20:46

Most people will park so that the driver can get in fairly easily. Passengers can always get in after the car is moved. Contrary to OP's expectations most people don't assume a baby will be put in the car and certainly don't check for one when parking.

The OP was parked at an angle, close to the white lines and had a go at the white van driver before he said anything to her.

Yes he shouldn't have called her a tart but she didn't help her case with her behaviour by blocking him in.

MildredIsMyAlterEgo Thu 20-Jun-13 22:24:53

YABU, it isn't difficult to put a baby in a car from the other side. He didn't need to be so rude and call you a tart/twat though. Good manners cost nothing smile

Here, have a wine

Tomorrow's another day. It might be even more shite than today but we live in hope wink

FannyMcNally Thu 20-Jun-13 22:28:27

Love the Red Sea comment grin

As others have said, people tend to leave a gap on the driver's side at the expense of the passenger side for obvious reasons. Maybe change the car seat over to the driver's side where 9 times out of 10 there will be enough space to get the baby in.

Mintyy Thu 20-Jun-13 22:31:45

Sorry, has it been covered? How should people parking next to you know that you have a baby?

Goldenbear Thu 20-Jun-13 23:28:42

The whole 'tart' comment seems to have been totally brushed over by most on this thread, like it's a complete irrelevance. It is really inappropriate and indicates to me exactly the kind of inconsiderate, rude person you wre dealing with. And no, not everyone parks in a way that will give them an advantage in accessibility but others a disadvantage. Personally, I just park in the middle of a space as I don't have an individualistic outlook on life.

SHarri13 Thu 20-Jun-13 23:45:55

Seriously, why are people so bloody mean and inconsiderate to others. If someone has a child seat I try not to park close to the door, it takes seconds and makes someone else's life a bit easier. Why are so many people so fucking selfish these days.

OP, it would piss me off too but one thin I've learnt is not to get arsenal with people re. Cars, it's veichles that give people a sense of entitlement not bloody kids! What gave the van driver the right to look ensure he had enough space, his transit, not his baby.

SHarri13 Thu 20-Jun-13 23:47:31

Minty, look through the widow, car seat, baby stuff, it's really not hard to spot a car that regularly carries a child/ren.

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