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to think that most women would rather have a girl/girls than a boy/boys?

(444 Posts)
jellysandwich Thu 20-Jun-13 14:17:01

I have read so many posts with pregnant mothers who are upset that they are having a ds and in real life I find that mothers who have all boys or boys first, tend to denigrate them to mums of girls and put their daughters on pedestals. Mums of girls tend to not mind having no boys whereas all boy mums seem to feel sad that they have only boys. I have never come across any women who only wanted boy(s).

Am I right in thinking that most women want to have girls and wouldn't mind having all girls if they have more than one child, whereas boys are almost always seen as second best and not the desired choice of most women?

Brittabot Thu 20-Jun-13 14:55:47

How odd. Most people I know wanted one of each. I know I did but now I'm delighted with having my 2 DS. If we have a third I'd be happy with a boy or a girl, but anyone who asks if we'll have another assumes we will be trying for a girl.

GeppaGip Thu 20-Jun-13 14:57:15

i take it fussandmess has been blessed with only girls! how perculiarly narrow minded to refuse to accept people have different opinions. and to say us mums of baby boys are secretly upset shock i am a girl, i know what they are like and i think thats why i naturally prefer boys. had no idea they were considered the booby prize lol

ColouringInQueen Thu 20-Jun-13 14:58:31

I wanted a DD - and first DC was a girl. Second pregnancy the same and had DS. He is a dream and also an easier personality so far. I am so glad he came along.

I think the volume of affection and cuddles from him now will compensate for any potential "seeing less of him once he's married stuff"!

fairisleknitter Thu 20-Jun-13 14:59:51

It was an attention-grabbing post from F&M, I bet she'll pop back in for a look.

youbethemummylion Thu 20-Jun-13 14:59:54

No you are wrong in thinking women want girls. I wanted boys and got boys although i would have been happy either way. A child is a child.

WheresMyCow Thu 20-Jun-13 14:59:57


I would have been happy either way, but was glad when I found out we were having a boy...and this is the truth.

I am certainly not some deluded mother missing out on princessy pink unable to admit the truth to myself.

MarshaBrady Thu 20-Jun-13 15:00:46

The mil /gp thing really does not matter a jot to me. Proximity usually has more impact anyway.

dubstarr73 Thu 20-Jun-13 15:00:50

Fussandmess but it really isnt true in my case.I was just happy to have children who were healthy fed well.I had 3 mcs and i was just happy to have a pregnancy that went full term.

I often think people do be dissapointed on your behalf but not me personally

Kormachameleon Thu 20-Jun-13 15:01:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quenelle Thu 20-Jun-13 15:01:41

FussandMess's post is hilarious. The online equivalent of spouting a load of nonsense and then putting fingers in ears shouting 'I CAN'T HEAR YOU!' when inevitably disagreed with.

I think there are unresolved ishoos there.

treaclesoda Thu 20-Jun-13 15:02:22

I've never met anyone in real life who is disappointed by the children that they already have. The 'everyone prefers girls' thing is something that I have definitely only come across on mumsnet and not in real life. In fact, if I had to really think about it, I would say that in my experience there is still a bias towards boys. To 'carry on the family name' and crap like that. Even when I only had one child, I had people sympathise with me along the lines of 'oh well, hopefully you'll get a boy next time' as though my DD was some sort of second rate practice child, so that I would be ready for the day my little prince would be born hmm. I tended to give them the evil glare of death...

xylem8 Thu 20-Jun-13 15:02:59

I think most women want both, but would prefer all girls to all boys.

treaclesoda Thu 20-Jun-13 15:03:29

as it happens I did get a boy next time, but I wouldn't have cared one bit if he had been another girl.

fairisleknitter Thu 20-Jun-13 15:05:15

xylem why do you think that?

Nicknamegrief Thu 20-Jun-13 15:05:29

When I was pregnant with my first didn't care whether baby was a boy or girl- had a boy. Didn't care with number 2 either- boy. Actually wanted a boy with number 3 and I thought I was going to have a boy (pregnancy was identical etc etc) and was shocked at delivery when number 3 was a girl. Completely shocked and had so wanted to be the mum of boys almost mourned the boy I thought I was having. Roll on 3 years later and number 3 is the best girl for me. She is a perfect fit. Feisty and spirited and a proper little girl. I was never into dressing up, clothes but I love doing it for my daughter. Number 4, may have had my first preference for a girl (matching pairs) and baby is a delightful boy. My boys are precious.

I don't hold anything about the saying a daughter is for life, a son until he has a wife. My husband and his brothers are the right kind of mummy's boys. They are very independent, no apron string issues (IMO) but spoil her and take great care of her (better than her daughters IMO).

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Thu 20-Jun-13 15:06:53

YABU. I only have boys and don't mind at all that I don't have a girl. When pregnant I never had a gender preference. I just wanted two children. My sisters both want only boys and no girls. I find it a bit odd to actually not want a particular sex. A child is a child and the sex is really not that important. They are all individuals.

MrsDeVere Thu 20-Jun-13 15:07:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TolliverGroat Thu 20-Jun-13 15:07:43

DD1 is a lot muddier and DD2 a lot more feral than DS ever was, by the way.

MrsDeVere Thu 20-Jun-13 15:07:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KellyElly Thu 20-Jun-13 15:10:40

I wanted a girl and had one. I'd say quite a few of my friends wanted girls as well. One wanted boys and has had two girls. When they're born you love them either way, it's usually just a first baby thing.

VBisme Thu 20-Jun-13 15:11:23

I am a stepmum, and think I'm extremely lucky that DH had boys with his ex wife.

However if I'd been able to have children of my own I wouldn't have cared what sex they were.

nethunsreject Thu 20-Jun-13 15:11:55


ChunkyPickle Thu 20-Jun-13 15:12:07

Not me either - for the first it truly didn't matter, for the second it didn't matter because either I'd be having one of each, or I'd have a matched pair - both of which is nice for different reasons.

TBH I'm half grateful that I'll never have to help a girl through puberty, or any of the other girl stuff that I'm not particularly good at myself anyhow, or the sea of pink that seems to come with girls these days, not to mention practical things like long hair down plug holes (well, unless DS decides to grow his).

Boys are fine, girls are fine. No preference, happy with what I've got.

sweetestcup Thu 20-Jun-13 15:14:54

Fussandmess - and yes I have no doubt you will read this, I dont believe for one minute you are hiding the thread - speak for yourself, I have a mind of my own, something you cant seem to grasp judging from your post since you are speaking for "all" women eh hmm

My relationship with my sons now (age 5, 11, 20) will dictate my relationship with them as adults and when they marry etc...not some stupid rhyme.

Meglet Thu 20-Jun-13 15:19:35


I secretly hoped DC1 was a boy for 2 bonkers reasons, 1) any future siblings would have a big brother to look after them at school (I was bullied) and 2) there would be less leg shaving stress as me and XP are both dark haired.

Luckily DC1 was a boy and was followed by DD 2 years later. So I'm incredibly lucky that it happened that way.

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