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AIBU about DS and wedding invite?

(134 Posts)
Dontlookattheknees Wed 19-Jun-13 20:13:38

A old high school friend of mine is getting married. In school we had been very good friends but have drifted apart (we were in a group of about 8. 4 of us are still best friends but all 8 of us still talk and see each other)
All 7 in this group have been invited to the wedding and were all excited (we want to go out and buy saris to wear)
She is the first to get married out of this group. 
When my invite came it didn't include DS which I was a bit shocked at because it is a massive wedding with lots of kids (a big Bengali bash) but I figured they had to draw the line somewhere so chose not to invite friends kids (I'm the only one out of the 8 to have a DC) It doesn't bother me.
I bumped into her today in town and she said she got my RSVP and I was asking how plans were going.
She said that she hoped I understood why DS wasn't invited
I told her that it was fine that kids weren't invited and it would be nice to have a night out (I'm a single parent) 
She was pleased I understood that it would be difficult to have DS there but I should know that kids will be there at the wedding
I must have looked puzzled because she carried on that because DS doesn't have a father, and that it would upset a lot of guests if a kid "like that" was at the wedding, so she and her FI decided that it would be best if my DS wasn't invited as having him at the wedding wasn't really appropriate

I was stunned, I ended up making my excuses

But that's not on is it?
(I know it's her day and all that crap) but it isn't the 1813 so AIBU to think she is being unreasonable and ridiculous?

MrsMangoBiscuit Wed 19-Jun-13 20:16:01

shock I'd be declining the invite, and I wouldn't be polite about it.

NeedlesCuties Wed 19-Jun-13 20:16:39


No, that is not nice. Poor DS and poor you!

If that's how she feels about your young son, then what must she be thinking about you as a single mum? Not good!

She is being V unreasonable. If it were me I'd feel really upset, and tell her to stick her wedding up her tight arse.

Donnadoon Wed 19-Jun-13 20:17:22

OMFG Drop that friend like a bad habit!

HazelnutinCaramel Wed 19-Jun-13 20:17:35

Whaaat? Decline the invite but keep it dignified.

HollyBerryBush Wed 19-Jun-13 20:17:36

What does she think you had? an immaculate conception?

MsGee Wed 19-Jun-13 20:18:02

I wouldn't go and I'd tell everyone why. Horrible bitch.

Kormachameleon Wed 19-Jun-13 20:19:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo Wed 19-Jun-13 20:19:19

Don't go, tell the rest of the group why. Tell her you are insulted.

RenterNomad Wed 19-Jun-13 20:19:24

How the hell would they know thst his father wasn't working, ill, at the bar...?!

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 19-Jun-13 20:19:53

What a biatch, can't believe she thought you'd understand! Who thinks like that?!

mummymccar Wed 19-Jun-13 20:20:04

Completely inexcusable. I'd be wondering what she isn't saying about you (or what she is saying behind your back). I don't think that somebody can actually treat a friend like that, it is a vile thing to do. I'd tell her no and explain why, then delete her number and not see her again.

HorryIsUpduffed Wed 19-Jun-13 20:20:12

Holy shit. Forget the invitation, I'd be declining any future contact.

I don't know a lot about Bengali culture but am shock that anyone living in the UK in 2013 thinks like that about a child. Vile.

Szeli Wed 19-Jun-13 20:20:22

I get a feeling karma may not be kind to a woman like this. Just you wait til her husbands swanned off leaving their kids behind...

picnicbasketcase Wed 19-Jun-13 20:20:26

YANBU at all. How fucking rude. It's one thing not to invite him and quite another to tell you that his very presence will offend people. I wouldn't go and tell people why too.

Samnella Wed 19-Jun-13 20:20:54

shock. YANBU and don't go and tell your friends why.

rainbowfeet Wed 19-Jun-13 20:21:57

How insulting!!! As a lone parent myself I would be telling her where to stick her invitation & her friendship!!! shock
How are people going to know anyway? Could it not be that your partner is at work or away??!! It's not like he's going to wear a badge saying "I have no Dad"!! shock

RenterNomad Wed 19-Jun-13 20:22:11

His father could be DEAD, for crying out loud. Guess her mind was formed in the judgemenral ways of her elders...

Jan49 Wed 19-Jun-13 20:24:15

I read your post and my mouth literally went like this: shock

Don't go but do tell her why.

Cherriesarelovely Wed 19-Jun-13 20:24:46

Hideous! I would literally never want to speak to her again. I'm so sorry, what a nasty woman. Please don't go.

gamerchick Wed 19-Jun-13 20:25:39

That's seriously appalling! She could have just not said anything instead of sticking the boot in.

Not a nice person, I really wouldn't go and I would tell her why if she asks.

She probably will already know though.

NeedlesCuties Wed 19-Jun-13 20:26:27

... oh, and another thing. Print out this thread, all our comments and post it to her along with your RSVP decline wink

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Wed 19-Jun-13 20:27:08


Allice Wed 19-Jun-13 20:27:48

What an awful mean thing to say, I'm quite speechless on your behalf. I wouldn't be able to attend the wedding and I'd have nothing further to do with her.

HumphreyCobbler Wed 19-Jun-13 20:28:19

That is terrible.

What a class A bitch.

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