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To think that a teacher should not tell the children to go and have a wee in the churchyard?

(162 Posts)
ThoughtsPlease Wed 19-Jun-13 16:46:06

After lunch the children were rehearsing a play in the church a two minute walk from the school. They did the whole play once, and DD who is 7 waited until they finished to say that she needed the loo. The teacher asked the other children, about 15 in total, if any also needed the loo, about 7 children said they did, and the teacher told them all to go outside in to the churchyard and find a bush to have a wee behind!

DD is not familiar with outdoor weeing, and the result was that she managed to wee on her pants, socks and most importantly to me as they are now in the bin all in her school shoes!

AIBU to think that a member of staff should have taken the children back to school to go to the loo, there were two members of staff in the church.

imademarion Wed 19-Jun-13 18:16:44

On, in or near graves is immaterial, I think.

Where I come from, a churchyard is a sacred resting place for the dead.

I believe that should be respected, be it a tiny rural churchyard or the War Cemetaries worldwide.

I just don't think children (or dogs or anyone) should be encouraged to use them as a toilet.

When these kids grow up and travel, I hope they no longer piss in sacred places. Because I can think of rather a lot if countries where they'd be met with a very different reaction indeed.

LastTangoInDevonshire Wed 19-Jun-13 18:24:31

No - what I am saying is that, if my 2 versions were the alternatives, someone would have moaned.

Of course they can go in a bush. The op is BU in the extreme - especially to throw stuff away.

Dominodonkey Wed 19-Jun-13 18:25:55

I am genuinely amazed at the responses on this thread. The frothers erupt at the thought that a teacher has raised their voice or suggested a child is an idiot but think its perfectly ok for them to all go outside and wet themselves to save a minute or two walk. The teacher was stupid to not to have a plan for students who needed the toilet other than they can just go outside and wee!

valiumredhead Wed 19-Jun-13 18:27:34

Where we used to live there was a huge cemetery where people took dogs for a walk, jogged, there were bouncy castles on open days-lots of weeing in hedges too as there are no loos.

ThoughtsPlease Wed 19-Jun-13 18:29:50

LastTango just to confirm I am not asking if I am BU to throw away the shoes, I am happy with that decision.

I can't see why anyone would have moaned had 1 teacher taken 7 children 2 minutes down a quiet village road, that is a dead end, the church is at the end back to school, while the other teacher stayed with the other 8 children in the church. A church that the school frequent every week and I imagine every single parent at the school has been to so knows where it is etc. That would be unreasonable.

ll31 Wed 19-Jun-13 18:30:38

Yabu, for not teaching your dd how to wee outside and for throwing out shoes, and for being annoyed with teacher.

Maryz Wed 19-Jun-13 18:30:48

Am I really alone in thinking that most 7 to 11 year olds (barring SN) should manage 2 hours without a wee, presuming they were told to go before they left the school.

I'm amazed.

LauraShigihara Wed 19-Jun-13 18:33:02

Blimey, I would mention the no weeing in the churchyard rule to all the the dog walkers who wander through there. And the foxes and hedgehogs who also get caught short.

A few children having an outdoor tiddle behind a hedge is not really something to get up in arms about. As someone else said, they weren't weeing in an open grave. Poor teachers - they can't get anything right, it seems.

As for the shoes, you were obviously about to bin them anyway, as you were very hasty about throwing them away immediately. After all, most parents don't mind their own children's urine and would just clean it off.

And if you have ever seen the state of most school loos, you will know that the soles of their shoes are teeming with germs from paddling in loo puddles, even on an average day.

FannyMcNally Wed 19-Jun-13 18:34:16

Exactly maryz. And the '2 minute walk' would be 10/15 minutes at least before they returned. Every minute counts in a primary school timetable! And also the other 8 would be twiddling their thumbs until the others came back.

ThoughtsPlease Wed 19-Jun-13 18:43:03

Maryz they were not told to go before they went to the church, the teacher just came and said we are going now.

Domino yes I too am surprised at the responses. They were in the church for around 2 hours and going for a wee in the churchyard was the only option.

Floggingmolly Wed 19-Jun-13 18:43:15

I actually think half a class of 7 to 11 year old's staging a piss-in in a churchyard is a bit off, sorry hmm.
Alfresco peeing is indeed a useful skill when stuck up a mountain or middle of a desert; but in a churchyard with toilets two minutes away??

halcyondays Wed 19-Jun-13 18:47:12

They should have got them to the toilet before they left the school. I do think peeing in the churchyard was disrespectful and could have been avoided, it's not as though they couldn't have waited. Was there not a toilet in the church they could have used?

tripecity Wed 19-Jun-13 18:48:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 19-Jun-13 18:50:57

Also telling the children to go behind a bush will sort out who really wants to go and who just put their hand up to 'join in'....

Chocovore Wed 19-Jun-13 18:51:49

Not sure how easy it would be for one teacher to get 7 children safely/down or across a road on her own or if tht would flout the rules? Don't they need one at the front and one t the back? Is it a country lane with no pavements? I also doubt it would be 2 minutes, tkes tht long tonget the children's attention and just because opyour dughter wasn't desperate, doesn't mean another child wasn't.

EndoplasmicReticulum Wed 19-Jun-13 18:57:07

YABU to throw the shoes away.

Peeing behind a bush is fine, if there is no sensible alternative.

Assuming they were not peeing on the actual graves I don't think it's disrespectful. Our churchyard is full of dog-shit, I think that's worse.

However I don't think the teacher should have encouraged others to go too, I know that my sons for example would have been fine holding it in, but offered the opportunity to pee behind a bush would not be able to resist.....

Viviennemary Wed 19-Jun-13 18:57:36

I think the teacher was out of order sending seven children for a wee when the school was near and there were probably loos in the church. But binning shoes and socks because of a bit of wee. Ridiculous!

ThoughtsPlease Wed 19-Jun-13 18:58:28

tripe sorry didn't realise that you were only allowed to ask for views regarding life threatening issues.

choco thank you that is the sort of question I was trying to think about, there are pavements and the road is a dead end so no through traffic.

Eyesunderarock Wed 19-Jun-13 18:58:31

Well, I'm a dissenter then, and I'm a teacher.
The children should have all gone to the loo before heading off for the practice, but if they really needed to go (I've done loads of practices where younger children than the OP's have managed a couple of hours) then one adult takes 7 back to school, no peeing in the churchyard or anywhere else.
But you over-reacted by throwing her stuff out!
I'd write a letter to the teacher, asking for them to plan ahead a bit better for the next rehearsal and suggesting an additional toilet break with walk in the middle.
It is one of the irritations about constantly hydrated children always sucking on a bottle. They wee a lot.

valiumredhead Wed 19-Jun-13 19:01:41

As someone said earlier 2 mins is more like 15 with kids.

ThoughtsPlease Wed 19-Jun-13 19:04:35

Thank you Eyes I have told my daughter to make sure she asks to go before they go to the church, as it seems it is not being suggested that they go, although I can possibly see a slightly irritated response to the delay in leaving anyway.

Should the situation arise again that she needs the loo, I have also thought about telling her that she should tell the teacher that she needs to go back to school to go the loo rather than outside.

I think that if you have just had lunch and a big drink, it is perfectly normal to perhaps not actually need the loo shortly afterwards, I.e when they left for church, but then need the loo an hour or so later.

Eyesunderarock Wed 19-Jun-13 19:05:06

So, it takes 15 minutes.
These are 7 year olds, if they need a wee they ought to be able to do it properly without soggy socks. If that had been a bunch of 7 adults in a choir practice, would you have expected them to pee behind a bush?

ThoughtsPlease Wed 19-Jun-13 19:06:58

*to go to the loo, I didn't mean 'go the loo'!

valiumredhead Wed 19-Jun-13 19:08:49

An adult is more likely to be able to work out that they need to go before hand and hang on until they walk back if they do need to go. These are kids, kids need the loo frequently even if they have just been half an hour earlier.

One of the biggest adjustments for ds and his mates when going to middle school at 9 was the fact they had to go to they loo in break time and they weren't allowed out during lesson time.

FannyMcNally Wed 19-Jun-13 19:08:58

I've never met a teacher who didn't tell children go to the toilet before a trip. A lot of this is based on what a 7 year old's said. Today within a few minutes a 6 year old in my class said there were 6 children mucking about in the toilets (there were 2), another said the floor was covered in soggy paper towels (a few crumpled ones round the bin) and another said that the HT had told him to put his jumper in Lost Property (hang it on his peg). All sort of true but none would stand up in court grin

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