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AIBU?

AIBU to act like a petulant child & refuse to go to my own birthday party?

143 replies

SBAustralia · 18/06/2013 10:19

OK, so back story here...
It was my birthday & hubby asked what I wanted to do. We hadn't done anything with extended family for ages so I suggested a family dinner at this new French Bistro style restaurant that has been getting amazing reviews (from both professionals & regular diners). He agreed. I wrote out a guest list & he booked a big table & sent out invitations. About a week before the dinner he told me that his very high maintenance, very whiney sister is complaining that there's only one place she will eat at in town (the same place we go every single time there is a family function because she chucks a tantrum if we don't) & if we don't go there she won't come to the party & as she was the one who will be bringing Nanna & Poppy they won't be able to come either. DH, bless him, instead of telling her to grow up & stop being a bitch, told her he would "sort it out" with me. I told him "fuck her, I'll get my parents to bring his Nanna & Poppy" & thought that was the end of it. Not so. The day before the dinner I called the restaurant to ask if I my friend can bring a pram in (some places won't allow it due to NSW fire safety regulations) only to be told that the booking was cancelled during the week. I was furious!

So instead of getting mad & yelling I pretended I had no idea of any change. I did however make a reservation for ONE at the original restaurant. On the night of the dinner I dropped hubby at the old standard, told him I loved him & I'll see him later but I'm having dinner where I want to have dinner on my birthday!

Now, according to his family, I am juvenile & selfish. They want an apology. So I'm wondering, do I apologise for being so passive agressive (not normally my style) & explain that I was angry that MY birthday plans had been hijacked by their daughter & her own childish & selfish demands or do I tell them to fuck off?

OP posts:
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bunchamunchycrunchycarrots · 18/06/2013 10:23

Grin YANBU!

Love it, fabulous way to deal with your SIL. I would suggest they look to her for an apology.

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InLoveWithDavidTennant · 18/06/2013 10:24

yanbu! its your birthday and thats where you want to go. his sister needs to grow up

dont apologise! they, and your dh, should be apologising to you

do what YOU want to do... not them

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QueenofallIsee · 18/06/2013 10:25

Unreasonable? No. Feckin legend? Absolutely.

High handed folks your in-laws eh! They will think twice next time.

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InLoveWithDavidTennant · 18/06/2013 10:26

Blush realised that its already happened! good for you! Grin

they still need to apologise to you

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AndHarry · 18/06/2013 10:26

:o That is brilliant OP but I'm sad that your friends missed out. Ask for an apology from SIL.

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KansasCityOctopus · 18/06/2013 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

childcarehell · 18/06/2013 10:26

Much better than whining on about it, i like it.

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ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 18/06/2013 10:26

Grin Did you enjoy it?

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FutTheShuckUp · 18/06/2013 10:27

Why the HELL does your DH not stand up to his cows arse of a sister?

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pudcat · 18/06/2013 10:27

YANBU. But I would have reserved 2 places for me and DH to see where his loyalties really lie. SIL is a spoilt child.

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M0naLisa · 18/06/2013 10:28

Fuck her. Spoilt little brat.

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stealthsquiggle · 18/06/2013 10:29

Good for you. If you can be bothered to respond at all, definitely tell them to ask their daughter for the apology. Surely this all came out on the evening, or did it get fudged somehow?

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YouTheCat · 18/06/2013 10:30

I hope you had fun. Your sil should apologise for being a brat.

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MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 18/06/2013 10:30

YANBU bloody good for you Grin

Your husband sounds spineless though, how do you put up with that?

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Shutupanddrive · 18/06/2013 10:30

Good for you! Grin

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Badvoc · 18/06/2013 10:31

I think your dh is the issue here tbh....

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dreamingbohemian · 18/06/2013 10:32

Ooooh I don't know.

On the one hand, your response was genius and if it had just been your DH and ILs, would have served them right.

But sounds like there were a lot of other people there? Who had nothing to do with it, and who probably had their night ruined by all the drama.

It sounds like it's your DH who you should really be angry with, and all this drama with the ILs is just a distraction from that. Yes your SIL was being selfish but your DH didn't have to go along with her, and you didn't have to go along with your DH.

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Featherbag · 18/06/2013 10:32

Well done you, I hope you didn't have to foot the bill though!!

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andie123 · 18/06/2013 10:34

YANBU this is absolutely brilliant, I hope you enjoyed your birthday meal. You have nothing to apologise for, your SIL sounds like a nightmare!

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Leeds2 · 18/06/2013 10:37

Who cancelled the original booking? Your OH, or the SIL?

I don't think I would've gone either, although I don't think I would have chosen to dine alone.

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Mrschocolate · 18/06/2013 10:37

That is brilliant OP.
I would of been pretty pissed with DH had he done that to me.
What did your DH say about it all ?

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MummyPigsFatTummy · 18/06/2013 10:37

Slightly confused why you didn't arrange for your friends/your family to join you at the original restaurant. Was there a reason?

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GiveMumABreak · 18/06/2013 10:38

YABU! for silently making your own reservation and not discussing this with anyone (are you trying to destroy your family realtionships?)

YANBU! for wanting your dinner where you originally chose. But should've discussed this with your family like an adult.

You sound like a bigger nighmare than your 'high maintenance' SIL - poor DH having the two of you in his life!

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ENormaSnob · 18/06/2013 10:39

Your dh is pathetic.

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WeAreEternal · 18/06/2013 10:39

^Unreasonable? No.
Feckin legend? Absolutely.^

^this, 100%

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