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To tell DH to fetch it himself?

(168 Posts)
GooseyLoosey Mon 17-Jun-13 10:38:57

Bit of background - DH likes bikes. Not like a normal person might but in the way that a train spotter likes trains. This has caused some tension over the years but I try to rise above it. DH has over 20 bikes in various states of partial dismemberment. He yearns to buy more "vintage bikes" (aka rubbish) all of the time and spends hours looking at pictures on e-bay. It is quite sad really.

Yesterday he runs into the kitchen telling me he had found a bike with the perfect 1950s cranks on that he had been looking for for months. His for a mere hundred and something pounds, but not to worry because there were bits on it he did not want that he could sell for twice that. He has never sold one single bike bit despite saying something similar each time he buys one. I tell him he knows my feelings about bikes and what our finances are like but he is an adult and I am not going to stop him spending the money he earns. Two minutes later he comes into the kitchen, the proud owner of yet another bike. I grimmace.

He comes to give me a hug and is very lovey. I think this is because he has bought the bloody thing and is trying to win me over. But no, there is more to it. Turns out the bike is collection only from London. We live over a hundred miles from London. However, I work there. He wants me to collect it from a suburb it will take about 40 minutes to get to after work and then somehow I have to get it back to the mainline train station and then in my car at the other end. I told him to get his own fecking bike.

His reply to me was that I was being totally unreasonable and he bet that if he was on something like mumsnet and asked everyone would agree, so I told him I would ask. If you lot tell me IABU, I will go and get the damn thing. If not, he is on his own. So, am I?

diddl Mon 17-Jun-13 10:42:10

I think that he should get the train ther & cycle back home tbh.

diddl Mon 17-Jun-13 10:42:57

But seriously-why can't he fetch it?

Morgause Mon 17-Jun-13 10:43:19

You are being very reasonable.

He should get a life it himself.

gamerchick Mon 17-Jun-13 10:43:25

Tell him to get it himself. Or it could snowball. If you've done it once......

onetiredmummy Mon 17-Jun-13 10:44:23

Its his, he can go & get it!

wheredidiputit Mon 17-Jun-13 10:45:37


If he wants to buy then he can sort out how to pick it up.

I wouldn't to travel and additional 40mins (is this one way or is 40min both ways) at rush hour after a long day at work for any one no matter how much I loved then especially for some more rubbish to sit in house.

OddSockMonster Mon 17-Jun-13 10:46:55

I would do a deal with him, that you'll get it if he sells off half his current collection, and then for any bike / part he buys after that, he has to sell the equivalent to make space for it.

MaxPepsi Mon 17-Jun-13 10:47:14

Hmm, if it was for something important to you all, a one off, or something easyish to transport I'd say YABU.

However, it's none of those things so YANBU!

squeakytoy Mon 17-Jun-13 10:47:15

tell him he can get a lift with you to the station, potter about in london while you work, then go and get the bike, and meet you back at the station to come home with you..

failing that, tell him to arrange a courier

pumpkinsweetie Mon 17-Jun-13 10:47:47

Yanbu, it could be in a dire condition like all the others you have mentioned meaning that you are left lobbing a wreckage all the way to your carshock. So for that reason i say he should go & retrieve it himself!

GooseyLoosey Mon 17-Jun-13 10:48:10

It's 40 minutes one way. Would then have to ride didgy 60 year old bike back to the mainline train station. He of course can't get it as he is busy and it would take him at least an hour and a half each way to get it.

I think I may have mentioned the notion of getting a life.

Keep the responses coming. I am going to send him the link to this (providing of course none of you think he is being reasonable).

YouStayClassySanDiego Mon 17-Jun-13 10:48:43

Yes tell him to fetch it himself!

He expects you to have to do all the legwork, sod that for a game of soldiers.

hardbeingme Mon 17-Jun-13 10:48:43


and he knows it or he would have asked you about the collection before bidding.

travelling across london at rush hour, with a bike when you don't have to is only for the devoted mad

ParadiseChick Mon 17-Jun-13 10:49:14

Yanbu,way too much hassle for you.

PatPig Mon 17-Jun-13 10:49:58

Can he not arrange a courier? I'm pretty sure you could have it collected by courier, even unboxed.

GooseyLoosey Mon 17-Jun-13 10:50:48

Ooh, 13 votes for me so far and none for dh! Hooray.

OddSockMonster Mon 17-Jun-13 10:52:13

Can I add to my suggestion that if you did pick it up for him according to some sort of deal, he should ought to take you on holiday with the proceeds of selling off half the old bikes.

Patosshades Mon 17-Jun-13 10:52:36

Is this bike in anyway for your benefit OP?
No? thought not. YANBU, he can go get his own bike.

GooseyLoosey Mon 17-Jun-13 10:52:41

He could (and probably will) arrange a courrier if I won't fetch it and the seller is willing. However, he thinks that in the cosmic scheme of things, I will take note of the additional price of the courrier and add that to the price of the bike and it will increase my ill will over the whole transaction. To be fair, he probably has a point. Did I mention that we have about 23 bikes?

HeathRobinson Mon 17-Jun-13 10:53:16

I wouldn't get it.

He should have worked out how he was getting it before he bid on it.

LayMeDown Mon 17-Jun-13 10:53:47

So after work, you have to travel 40 mins out to the suburbs. Pick up an ancient bike in god knows what state of repair. Cycle that bike back to the station. Get it on the train. Get it off again and into your car (not actually that easy to do.) And deliver it to him. A bike you didn't want and can't afford?
No chance. YANBU. He can get the train up himself to get it. Cheeky fucker.

GooseyLoosey Mon 17-Jun-13 10:54:17

Nice thought Sockmonster. I fear however his idea of a holiday might be to the track at Newport. Maybe I should ask for custody of the proceeds of sale, but I suspect that by the time I get them, we would be looking at a Saga break!

msrisotto Mon 17-Jun-13 10:54:27

YANBU, who does he think he is? The Queen of Sheba? I wouldn't mind having people to do all my chores for me either!

agedknees Mon 17-Jun-13 10:54:47

More votes for you. YANBU. Tell him to get his own bike.

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