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... To tell my neighbours?

(55 Posts)
WhoNickedMyName Sun 16-Jun-13 12:47:57

We've lived in our house for 4 years and in all the time we've lived here I go outside to smoke, round the side of the house where my DH has built me a little smoking shelter grin.

Last week, during that little burst of lovely weather, my neighbour knocked to ask me to stop smoking round the side of the house, as their conservatory and back bedroom smelled strongly of cigarettes. I was a bit hmm that this had never been a problem before, and smoke from my 3 cigarettes a day was floating across our two gardens (there is probably about 20 metres between our houses) and making its way into their house but agreed that unless it was raining, I'd go to the bottom of our garden for a cigarette in future.

I've just been hanging washing out. The neighbours car isn't there so I presume they're out somewhere. As I walked down the side of my house I could see their daughter through the gaps in the fence, standing at the side of their house, puffing away. She is about 12/13 years old. Their conservatory windows are open. She is no more than a couple of metres away. This is clearly what's causing their house to smell.

Whilst I don't want to drop her in it, I don't want my neighbours to think I've ignored their request, and if it were my DS I'd want to know.

Would you tell them?

Oldraver Sun 16-Jun-13 12:50:24

I hate smoking and hate the smell of it. I wouldn' tell a neighbour not to smoke in their own garden. Therefore yes I would tell them the culprit

delilahbelle Sun 16-Jun-13 12:51:01

Tell them! She's still a child, and could be doing so much damage to her lungs. And this way they'll know not to blame you for the smell as well.

hurricanewyn Sun 16-Jun-13 12:51:11

Yep. I'd def want to know.

Whilst I don't want to drop her in it - She's only a child, don't be concerned about this

cfc Sun 16-Jun-13 12:51:40

Tell them it's her.

MrsCosmopilite Sun 16-Jun-13 12:51:45

What Oldraver said.

NatashaBee Sun 16-Jun-13 12:52:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy Sun 16-Jun-13 12:53:33

I would take a photo of it otherwise the daughter will deny..

EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo Sun 16-Jun-13 12:54:52

Will they believe you?

I can't understand this, if they are sensitive to smoke why on earth can't the smell it on their child?

Damnautocorrect Sun 16-Jun-13 13:03:03

Yes take a pic they won't believe you. Tell them your very sorry but its not you.
I still think its cheeky they were telling you where to smoke.

ihearsounds Sun 16-Jun-13 13:07:31

Take a picture. THey won't believe you. They will think you are just making excuses because you want to use your shelter and the weather is rotten again. Their dd will deny it. She will give them the puppy dog eyes. She will put on the water works. She will promise and swear dearly that she doesn't smoke and never has done. She will tell them her friends smoke, hence they smell smoke on her.

Justfornowitwilldo Sun 16-Jun-13 13:10:05

12/13? I'd take a picture/video on your phone as proof and tell them ASAP. If she's stinking their house out it's not a one off sad

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sun 16-Jun-13 13:10:30

I would definitely tell them (and show them a photo). She is 12 they have a right to know and I'd expect an apology too. Good news is that you can go back to smoking in your shelter smile

apostropheuse Sun 16-Jun-13 13:15:27

Tell them. You could help prevent another person getting lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease or other smoking-related illness.

She's still a child, using a substance which can potentially kill her. Her parents ought to know this..

Delayingtactic Sun 16-Jun-13 13:16:42

Take a picture and tell them. It's not like she's 18 and visiting parents and sneaking a crafty one. She's a child and her parents have every right to know. I say this as a smoker who started at that age to fit I'm with my mates.

WhoNickedMyName Sun 16-Jun-13 13:19:09

I still think its cheeky they were telling you where to smoke.

I dunno, they're pretty good neighbours, our paths don't cross all that much and I always take the view that if it's got to the point where someone is complaining, then it's usually about something that's really bothering them. I did wonder whether they'd put up with it for 4 years and if so, why not say something sooner.

I'm surprised too that they can't smell it on their daughter. DH and DS can't stand the smell which is why I go round the side of our house that has no windows. As soon as I come in I wash my hands, spray deodourant all over myself and brush my teeth - and they still sometimes complain that I smell.

I'll keep popping out to see if I can see her smoking again and try and get a photo but tbh I can't be arsed being on 'smoke watch' for days grin. I'm going to knock and tell them as soon as they get back today and if they don't believe me then hey ho.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 16-Jun-13 13:22:22

Yes speak to the parents by all means, it's up to them whether they believe you or not.
Taking a photo though?
It a bit stalkery and creepy IMO

Josie314 Sun 16-Jun-13 13:27:18

I would tell them.

And you sound like a great neighbour. :-)

WeleaseWodger Sun 16-Jun-13 13:28:31

Or if you can't take a photo, take note of what she's wearing. She probably will either change clothes and stuff the smelly ones into the laundry basket or overdouse in perfume. But they should still be able to smell cigarette smoke (and perfume).

JuliaScurr Sun 16-Jun-13 13:29:54

why can't they smell it on her?

comedycentral Sun 16-Jun-13 13:30:22

I would tell them, you sound like you get along

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Sun 16-Jun-13 13:39:22

As creepy as it is, id take a pic before you tell them or they won't believe you and you'll always be "that neighbour who tried to blame her smoking on a child" which could affect future relations.

Flossyfloof Sun 16-Jun-13 13:41:03

I don't think you should take a picture - it could land you in some trouble I think. I wouldn't mention it - they won't thank you for it and will blame you for mentioning it. Surely they will find out soon enough? I do think they were bloody cheeky though and stupid - how could your smoke invade house and how can they not smell it on their daughter?

helenthemadex Sun 16-Jun-13 14:09:09

I'm surprised they cant smell it on her but then its easy enough to say I was at xxxx and their mum/dad smokes

i would tell the parents you have seen her smoking, I would want to know if it was one of my kids

mamalovesmojitos Sun 16-Jun-13 14:10:31

No way would I take a photo but I would definitely tell them. Up to them where they go from there.

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