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To NOT take my child out of school for a day?

(32 Posts)
AlbertaWildRose Fri 14-Jun-13 19:19:47

A friend of mine has a lovely holiday property a few hours outside of our city. She has come up with the idea to have a day next week when a bunch of us would take our children out of school, and all drive up to her property for a day of fun, sun, and relaxation. BUT school is out for the summer only one week later; if we waited and did it then, no one would have to miss school. Now, to me, school is mandatory. You don't take your child out because there is something better to do, especially so close to the end of the year when holidays are right around the corner. Yet, out of all the people invited, I seem to be the only one with the slightest misgivings, and the only one who is not going. Some of my friends are even taking a sick day off work so they can go. So, AIBU to not take my child out of school for this? Am I just being a kill-joy, or are they BU to think this a good message to teach their children?

AlbertaWildRose Fri 14-Jun-13 19:20:52

Apologies for posting and running, but I have to do the school run now (am in Canada). Will check in again later.

sittinginthesun Fri 14-Jun-13 19:24:18

I wouldn't dream of it, but then I wouldn't dream of taking a sickie either.

Bad example to the children, IMO.

Mrschocolate Fri 14-Jun-13 19:37:36

I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't take a sick day just to go out either.
I think it is a bad message to send to children regardless of the time of year.
But then I know people who would, and who would justify it by saying that it was the last week of school so it wouldn't matter.

phantomnamechanger Fri 14-Jun-13 19:40:19

Awful example to be setting children - basically telling them they can pull a sickie whenever they want to, and teaching them to lie

TuTuTilly Fri 14-Jun-13 19:40:56

YABU. Last week of school they learn nowt, just sit watching DVDs whilst teachers take down displays, etc ...

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 14-Jun-13 19:48:58

Sickie no.
Authorised leave of abs. yes.

Fakebook Fri 14-Jun-13 19:49:17

Well I took dd out of school yesterday for a day to the beach. Teachers didn't mind. Don't see the problem.

Elquota Fri 14-Jun-13 19:52:55

YANBU. I totally agree with you, OP. School is mandatory unless there's some really exceptional reason. It's very rude for anyone to expect you to take your child out of school to fit in with their plans for a jolly.

halcyondays Fri 14-Jun-13 20:03:14

I've taken them out for a holiday and for a one off special event, but wouldn't for a random day of the kind you mention. Why couldn't she arrange for them to go the following week?

mrsjay Fri 14-Jun-13 20:07:44

why cant friend arrange something for the first day of the holidays or something seems really random to just go for a day 2 weeks before the end of term ,

LindyHemming Fri 14-Jun-13 20:10:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fishandlilacs Fri 14-Jun-13 20:16:49

I disagree entirely, one day in the life of school for some lovely R&R and QT with family and friends would still be valuable learning.

fishandlilacs Fri 14-Jun-13 20:17:38

I'm not saying i'd make a habit of it but I'd book a day off work for such an opportunity so why not let the kids have one day? I'm sure the school wouldn't blink an eye over 1 days authorised absence

AlbertaWildRose Fri 14-Jun-13 20:18:48

Thanks for your responses. I'm glad I'm not the only person in the world who thinks this is a bit strange. I could understand it more if it was for a very special occasion, but this is not that!

pootlebug Fri 14-Jun-13 20:21:18

I agree with you OP. It's not about what learning they might miss out on, it's about teaching kids that you don't just take a day off / sickie because you feel like it.

AMumInScotland Fri 14-Jun-13 20:46:25

YANBU, it would be easy for her to arrange it a week later.

I think if you pull your children out of school for trivial reasons, then it becomes very difficult to insist on them going every day as they get older / being taken seriously if you tell them off for playing hookey, because they can so easily turn round and say "Why can't I miss school when it suits me, if it's ok for me to miss school when it suits you?

mrsjay Fri 14-Jun-13 20:55:57

R&R and QT with family and friends would still be valuable learning.

nah it is a day out no real learning of an educational sort imo, nothing wrong with it as a one off or special occasion but I dont think nice days out and holidays are that educational

TuTuTilly Fri 14-Jun-13 21:00:22

a lot of school days are not that educational to be fair ...

LindyHemming Fri 14-Jun-13 21:02:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 14-Jun-13 21:06:18

I think taking kids out of school occasionally is fine, but only for something that can't be done on the weekend/is a special event.

I wouldn't take them out of school for this. Why not do it on a Saturday or in the school holidays?

I wouldn't take a sick-day from work though.


mrsjay Fri 14-Jun-13 21:07:18

a lot of school days are not that educational to be fair ...

really hmm

tbh I have taken my dds out the last week of terms a few times or the last day for a holiday but the op day out seems really random when they could arrange to play with the kids during the holidays

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 14-Jun-13 21:07:26

My one euphemia, but that was many years ago. I wonder now how they got away with it!

AlbertaWildRose Fri 14-Jun-13 21:09:08

AMuminScotland I totally agree with you. DS is tired of school and desperate for the holidays, but I have been telling him how important it is to continue to go to school. I don't think taking him out to spend time with my friends would be sending him the right message.

EmmelineGoulden Fri 14-Jun-13 21:42:32

I'd never take a sickie, because that is pretty much stealing from your employer. Unless your sick days are unpaid, in which case I might be less scrupulous, but I've never had a job like that so not sure.

Still, school isn't work. And I think teaching a kid that there is more to life than sticking to rules for the sake of it is not a wrong message. It does seem odd she's invited you just before the end of term. But it's an invitation to her house, it's pretty rude to try and change the date, she might even have good reason for not being able to invite you in the holiday.

Taking a kid out of school for a day in the last week of the summer term on the odd occasion I wouldn't avoid on principle. I'd look at what they were likely to be doing that day (maybe talk to the teachers) and weigh that up against the day trip. My memories of school are that plenty of time was wasted, especially in the summer term and my experience of kids at school now is that that really hasn't changed, maybe got worse in some years. Also I remain very unconvinced that a slavish adherence to attendance metrics is particularly helpful to individual children - novel, rich experiences can be really valuable. So I would tend to look at what I think he would get out of it and balance that against what he would miss. I wouldn't jump at the invitation, but I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand.

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