to report this pic posted by my Father as his Facebook Profile Picture

[MrRected]

My father and I don't communicate. He is an abusive, unrepentant twat. After an horrendous childhood and a bumpy adult relationship - I ended up cutting myself off from him a few years ago.

My DH and I have a policy of no profile pics of our children on FB - probably a little OTT but there are too many nutters in the world and we prefer to share photos of our little darlings selectively.

So, you'd imagine my surprise, when idly googling my DF, to see he has pinched a photo of our children from DH's Aunties FB and posted it as his profile picture. A typical passive aggressive thing for him to do.

So here is the AIBU dilemma? I decided, rather than open a can of worms and contact him directly to ask him to remove the picture that I would report the picture to FB as my intellectual property and ask them to ensure it was removed on the basis that this is an unauthorised picture of my children.

Was this unreasonable?

[MammaTJ]

Not in the least!

[TigerSwallowTail]

Did FB remove the picture?

[Rulesgirl]

I have no pictures of me or my children on facebook because as it says in the rules, all pictures etc are the property of facebook and can be used by them. Facebook is handy but can be a nasty tool when used inappropriately. You can view so many peoples facebook as most people don't make them private. I don't understand that. And you can go through all the pictures if you want to. From their pictures you can see things in the background like addresses on letters, birthday cards etc and is an easy way for identity thieves to gain information. People do not realise how much of their lives they put out there for anyone to see and use. You are not being unreasonable and it is a matter of safety and security that the photo of your children is removed. Hope this happens for you.

[HullMum]

yanbu. did the same with asshole sil

[HullMum]

Oh btw there is a specific page for reporting pics of your kids, Its not in the normal report section. They make you link to it and message them


in other words as difficult as possible to find and do because they must get loads of requests.

I hate watching the news whenever there is a tragedy they always show pics "courtesy of FB" it's vile

[Justforlaughs]

I'm slightly undecided on this one. On the one hand he should not have posted a picture of your children without permission; on the other hand you have posted the picture yourself, on an internet page that can be accessed by anyone. As Rulesgirl pointed out, facebook does make this clear. Once you post pictures on there, they are no longer your property. If he had taken a photograph himself and posted it, it would have been more clear cut. Sorry, if that's not what you want to hear.

[MrRected]

But my picture is mine to post. I am aware of the T's&C's and take the necessary precautions to ensure my FB profile picture has no identifying content. I would never dream of posting a picture of somebody elses child on the internet, let alone as a publicly available profile picture.

In this instance, my Dad has actively stolen the picture from somebody elses timeline - from a closed album (they are FB friends), and made it his profile pic for the entire world to see. This is mostly what I object to. I'd be less worried (but no less weirded out) if he put the picture on his timeline as, this has least has some privacy controls.

I have used the specific section for reporting pictures of children Under 13 and provide a link to FB and they have not yet actioned it.

Still scratching my head at the absurdity of the entire situation. We don't speak, he hasn't laid eyes on my children for 6 years and has never even met my daughter. Nor has he ever had anything remotely nice to say about my kids - yet he is still pretending to the world that everything is hunky dory.

[Fairyloo]

What can be do e with a photo? It's a photo of his grandchild

I think you are being totally PFB

[TwasBrillig]

I'd be thinking what fairy wrote . . .

[MrRected]

It's a photo of all three of my children which is available for everybody in the whole wide world to see.

It could be used - in very crass terms for paedophiles to wank over.

[MrRected]

His grandchildren whom he does not see and has never ever cared about? Having beaten me senseless all my life and left me to be abused at a party - aged 5 whilst off getting blind drunk, before beating my mother to a pulp.

He does not deserve the title grandfather.

[MrRected]

I am too angry and damaged. I should never ever have posted this thread.

I realise that I am not being unreasonable - given the circumstances. But will have MN HQ pull this thread.

[lurkedtoolong]

If you're so worried about the gangs of wanking paedophiles roaming Facebook for photos of your children don't allow anyone to have photos of them online, not just your father.

[OrangeFireandGoldashes]

I agree with Justforlaughs. I don't necessarily agree with what your father did, but at the same time it's a little hypocritical to choose to post a picture on a public forum (because that's what Facebook is, regardless of all the guff about publicity settings) voluntarily, with all the well-known risks that entails, then complain when someone appropriates said picture on the same public forum.

If you don't want to give unwelcome family members, strangers and randoms the opportunity to use your photos for their own ends, then don't post them on Facebook. Email them to the specific person or people with whom you want to share them and ask them in the email not to put them on social media.

Facebook is a convenient way to share photos but it isn't a safe way, so you either take advantage of the convenience but accept the risk, or you control the dissemination of your photos more tightly and accept this will mean doing so by more long-winded methods.

[MrRected]

I never ever posted this picture on Facebook.

The picture was posted by somebody else - DH's aunt. My father stole it from her.

My settings do not allow anybody but specific friends to see my pics.

[HotCrossPun]

MrRected Instead of asking them to pull it, why not get it moved to relationships?

For what its worth, YANBU. He has acted terribly towards you over the years, doesn't see your children and sounds like he did that just to wind you up.

I don't think this is a case of you being 'pfb'

[MrRected]

I have subsequently asked her not to post pics of my children on FB.

[Justforlaughs]

Look, I think everyone understands why you are upset that your father has used this picture as his profile picture, and I am very sorry to hear what you went through at his hands. I don't think anyone wants to belittle that, but the point in question is about someone (whoever that may be, father or paedophile or random person) reposting a photograph that was put on a public forum. The bottom line is that IF you put photographs on a public forum then the photographs are no longer your property, YOU have made them public and as such people are able to repost them at will.

[MrRected]

Thank you Hotcross. Your kind tone has actually made me cry.

[MrRected]

I WILL REPEAT

I DID NOT PUT THESE PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK!

[Justforlaughs]

Sorry, I thought you had posted them originally. If your relation has taken photographs of your children and has posted them on fb without your permission then it is her that you should have an issue with. I don't post pictures of my children and would not be happy with anyone who did.

[MrRected]

I did take issue with her and ask her to make them private. She thinks it's a joke - she doesn't believe me when I tell her how terrible my father is.

God this thread is raking up so much shit. I have to go.

Thank you all.

[HollyBerryBush]

Well the thing that struck me was, if you have no contact, haven't seen him for 6 years - why are you googling him?

[MrRected]

Some sad desire to see if he's ok, I suppose.

Despite the fact that he abused me, he is still my father.

[DangoDays]

Mrrected hope you are alright.

You don't have to explain your actions. I think an exercise in empathy can help anyone figure out why you might look up your father.

Re the actual reason you posted I hope FB take it down for you. Of course you have a right to request this. Could you have a more serious chat with your aunt about respecting your wishes and the challenges of your past. Also have you a friend/partner around for a cup of tea and hug? Take care.