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Dunno, you decide.

(36 Posts)
nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:00:46

Because i am just too tired to think straight frankly.

Had pnd with my now 10 year old ds. Was awful.
I have a 5 month old who is fab fab fab smile

As is to be expected, i am absolutely shattered as he is ebf and feeds every 2-3 hours day and night typically.

I have a large network of good freinds from work.
Was going to go out for a meal with them tonight but i cancelled as ds cluster feeds all evening and i am crap at expressing, just want a shower, pjs and to go to sleep.

The lady who arranges stuff would not take no for an answer, and has arranged for everyone ( there is 4 of them) to come to mine.
I was just too tired to argue in the end.
They are bringing cake (i am at slimming world and doing really great)
I have cleaned the house today as i always do when i have guests, i am so so tired.

Am i being a miserable old bag, kinda deliberately avoiding social situations as you do with PND or are they being pains insisting on harrassing me?
Dont think that PND is creeping back in as i feel good apart from the exhaustion.

hackmum Thu 13-Jun-13 17:04:47

They are being pains! Having a 5 month old is completely draining. It was months and months before I went out again after having my DD. The thought of having people around would have filled me with horror - what if you can't get rid of them?

NinetiesBitch Thu 13-Jun-13 17:06:38

You have a 5 month old, how dare she intrude into your house like that! YANBU.

DeepRedBetty Thu 13-Jun-13 17:08:55

The only upside of this is at least you have a lovely clean house.

With a bit of luck they'll realise they've outstayed their welcome within an hour or so.

Did the cake-organiser know you were doing slimming world? If so wins booby prize for epic tact fail!

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 13-Jun-13 17:08:57

Maybe shes worried about you, given your previous pnd and is cackhandedly trying to 'help'.

OutInAllWeathers Thu 13-Jun-13 17:08:58

How good friends are they? If good friends then they are probably trying to be there for you and make sure you don't miss out, although YANBU for just wanting to slob with baby in pjs.

ByTheWishingWell Thu 13-Jun-13 17:09:09

YANBU at all- they have just invited themselves to your house! If you really aren't up for doing anything tonight, tell them firmly- it isn't your fault that you're tired.

But, have you socialised at all since you had your DS? It could well be that your friends are worried that you're becoming isolated, and trying to do what's best for you by coming to you so that you don't have to make the effort to go out. By all means, tell them no if it isn't what you want, but bear in mind they probably think they are being very helpful.

UniqueAndAmazing Thu 13-Jun-13 17:10:58

they are being pains, but i would say yabu.

you need a social life too.
so, the baby cluster feeds - if they come to yours, it's win-win.

just tell them you're putting your pyjamas on but you'll still socialise

UniqueAndAmazing Thu 13-Jun-13 17:13:13

ps - you're also BU for cleaning! wtf?


just don't clean.
you could have slept while you were cleaning.

nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:16:27

The other thing is that i have just negotiated a new bed time for ds, 9pm.
It means making him leave when they arrive at 7, have asked dh to take him into the conservatory to watch telly, he loves springwatch at the mo.

I have been out once, and my boobs almost exploded by the time i got home. Was only out for about 3 hours!

Just cant be arsed with it....they do tell me that they have gossip though....

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Jun-13 17:20:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:22:12

Hehehehe, that made me giggle Thesecondcoming so true.

nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:24:46

normally the mention of
1) gossip
2) cake
3) food would have me very excited!

now...grump grump grump sad

RiotsNotDiets Thu 13-Jun-13 17:27:56

I think they're being nice, if a bit clumsy. You'll enjoy yourself once they're there with cake and gossip.

Nobody's coming round to mine with cake and gossip envy

LeaveIt Thu 13-Jun-13 17:31:00

It will probably turn into a really good evening. Like when you look forward to going somewhere and it turns out crap compared to when you can't be bothered or don't want to go and have a great time. If they're really close friends you could still put on your pjs wink hope the goss is worth it!

UniqueAndAmazing Thu 13-Jun-13 17:32:14

I don't see why you can't keep him with you when your friends are there.

The only place i go without DD is WI and dance class. i even took DD with me for the first 6 months (thankfully there was a summer break and after that i felt confident hmm to leave her at home)
the hmm face is because i still don't like to leave her at home in the evenings.

you can have fun with your friends and still have your DS with you.

MiamiMe Thu 13-Jun-13 17:36:06

It sounds like a bit of a PITA now but I'm sure you'll have a good laugh and enjoy yourself. Well that's how I felt when my friends came to mine en masse when DD was just 6 weeks.

Poledra Thu 13-Jun-13 17:39:36

Unique, I think she's talking about her 10-yo DS, not the baby smile

LulaPalooza Thu 13-Jun-13 17:40:08

YANBU. I don't even have kids and I would be absofuckinglutely furious if a friend invited themselves to mine when I had said I didn't want to go out.

But then I am an introvert

50shadesofbrown Thu 13-Jun-13 17:54:47

I think probably good intentions but extremely cheeky & tactless. Just tell them you'll have to BF at some point, pyjamas are a possibility, & an early end to the evening is likely. If they don't like it, tough. House rules. Hope you have a good evening. I really hope you had a rest before they arrived or are due to arrive.

handbagsatdawn Thu 13-Jun-13 18:10:40

Like others have said, go with it. Do not stress about running around after them - if they're good friends they'll pop into the kitchen and make you a cup of tea rather than you having to do it! Stay in your PJs, be comfy! You'll probably end up having a lovely evening.

ShabbyButNotChic Thu 13-Jun-13 18:49:46

On the fence with this one, they may have the best of intentions and think they are being supportive by working round you and baby, keeping you involved etc, but it is a bit cheeky to invite themselves.
I would say go with it, dont run round after them ( the rule in my house is come whenever but bring biscuits and make your own brews) you may enjoy it! But dont be afraid to ask them to leave after a while.

MammaTJ Thu 13-Jun-13 19:22:41

TSC not holding back, as usual!! grin

I happen to agree though. Once they arrive (which they will have by now, so why am I bothering?) you will get involved in the gossip and have a good time.

Don't keep turning people down, they will stop asking.

If I was near you, I would make some special syn free meringues and cream with fruit to join you. (you're not in Minehead, are you?)

DeskPlanner Thu 13-Jun-13 19:58:56

Hopefully it will end up being one of those evenings that you dread but then turn out brilliant. Enjoy the cake it won't damage your SW motivation to much. It's really nice, though slightly annoying, that they want to come and see you. I think the longer you leave seeing people the harder it is to regain a good friendship again. Hopefully your having a wonderful evening and probably won't even see this message. grin

verytellytubby Thu 13-Jun-13 20:07:38

Sounds fun.

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