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Hating this !

(8 Posts)
debbie1412 Mon 10-Jun-13 21:53:34

Dp announced today he's booked his CBT for Sunday for Father's Day as we so not have plans with my dad or his. It's the start of his plan to get his motor bike licence then owning his own bike.
I hate motorbikes they scare the shit out of me and I'm really cross about him doing it. We have to young children and il worry evey time he goes out on the dan thing.
I've recently taken up ice skating lessons as a hobby and he's saying I'm being out of order allowing myself a dangerous hobby then denying him doing something
he wants to do. Then he
basically said screw you I'm doing it and booked the days course. I also think he's out of order doing it on Father's Day when he should be with his kids.
Thoughts ??

Mutt Mon 10-Jun-13 21:57:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 10-Jun-13 22:03:18

ah, don't fret, it'll be ok. it's just another Hallmark Holiday anyway. grin You don't need the calendar to tell you when it's time to be nice to dad (or mum. or be romantic grin ) so if he wants to go ride a bike on the 16th, have fun with the kids on the 15th, or the 6th november, or the 23rd august.

Make a fuss of someone spontaneously, not cos it's circled in everyone's diary in the entire country.

It'll mean so much more. Honest.

That's about the father's day bit.

however, saying screw you I'm doing it, when you are just worried isn't nice. but - the best way for him to be safe on a bike is for him to have loads and loads and loads of instruction.

aldiwhore Mon 10-Jun-13 22:03:50

To be fair, you can die if you fall off a bike and land on your head, you can also die if you fall off your skates and land on your head. Okay the chances of getting some idiot driver 'not see' you and turn you into mincemeat are rather low when ice skating, but neither hobby is without risk. Hopefully he'll have sense enough to well, have sense, and lessen risk and be a 'good' biker, and it sounds like this is a long held dream, so YWBU to deny him that just because it's dangerous.

Make sure his insurance is paid up, the rest is down to the fates to decide.

My DH is a biker, he's been riding bikes for about 35 years, not dead yet.

It's Father's Day, so I think you could surprise him and pay for it as his treat. He knows you don't like the idea of bikes, giving him your support may stop him ever thinking 'fuck you' and doing something stupid (my brother had a fuck you moment and has a lovely scar to show for it after riding in a rage and not being sensible).

YANBU to hate it. It's not your thing. I do sympathise with you, but I do think you are being AbitU.

debbie1412 Mon 10-Jun-13 22:39:15

Yh it should be something he wants to do, it'll be strange not having him around on fathers day though. I guess il just have to swallow it.
Thanks girls X

ImperialBlether Mon 10-Jun-13 22:41:47

Not that this is anything to do with anything, when I first went online CBT stood for "cock and ball torture." Now which would you rather he did on Sunday?

debbie1412 Mon 10-Jun-13 22:47:46

Ha ha ha imperial, you have a point !

greenbananas Mon 10-Jun-13 23:04:18

YANBU!!!! At least, that's the way I feel, but my the rational part of me kind of disagrees.

Like you, I truly hate motorbikes... I have seen (and will never forget seeing) a number of very nasty accidents, some involving fatalities. I woud hate for anybody I love to ride one.

However ... you will probably have to accept that this is what your DH wants to do, and that it is his decision. Most bikers stay safe and do not have accidents, most are sensible on the roads, most keep a wary eye out for nutty car drivers.

If your DH is going to do this at all, then it is fair enough that he does it on Father's Day, because it is something he wants to do.

In your position, I would feel exactly the same, but I think we probably both have to learn to let our menfolk do whatever they want to do, however scary it is. We would perhaps be fairly annoyed if they tried to stop us from doing various things that they felt were inappropriate for us as mothers.

(and, to put this in perspective, I spoke the other day to a mum of two boys whose husband is currently in Syria volunteering to drive a lorry full of first aid equipment etc. - she respects his decision to go there but obviously wishes he wasn't there, and is worried sick about him... riding a motorbike as a leisure activity pales into insignificance beside choosing to take that kind of risk!!!)

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