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AIBU?

To be saddened by this casual gender stereotyping?

188 replies

SuiGeneris · 09/06/2013 06:42

DS went to a third birthday party recently. Lovely family that we would like to get to know more. As seems common round here there was an entertainer who spun out a story and games on a pirate theme. It started off with there being an island full of monsters that the boys (aka pirates) were asked to scare away "so that it would be safe for the princesses to come onto the island". I was stunned (and, it must be said, sad and irritated) that in this day and age, in London, in an educated environment, this should be acceptable. Of course the hostess probably had not heard the story before and the other parents would not have said anything through politeness but.. Really??

As it happens DS asked to be a princess when it came to the face painting and none of the other children said anything. At just 3 I think they are unaware of stereotypes, so why foist them on them?

OP posts:

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thebody · 09/06/2013 06:46

Ditch the entertainers then and let the children make up their own games!

TVTonight · 09/06/2013 06:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovesunflowers · 09/06/2013 06:48

Oh give over. It's just a friggin game. People on mn seem to find problems with anything that is remotely boy or girl related. Did the kids have fun? Im sure they did.

SuiGeneris · 09/06/2013 06:58

Iloveflowers: some did, some didn't. I sure they would have enjoyed it the same if they all had blown the monsters away or whatever. I thought the stereotyping was lazy.

And yes, ditching the entertainer seems an excellent plan. We did.

OP posts:

Rhino71 · 09/06/2013 07:02

Oh FFS give it a rest, sorry op but I've had enough of these type of threads now, are you really that upset a children's entertainer considered pirates for boys and princess for girls.

mummybare · 09/06/2013 07:04

Wow, YANBU.

It's not as though it's even remotely historically accurate. Knights and princesses might have been slightly more forgivable, but you're right, this was just lazy.

Rhino71 · 09/06/2013 07:12

No no no, it's a 3 year olds party for christ sake not a history lesson, talking about it being factually incorrect and being sad, stunned and irritated is in my opinion more sad and irritating.

CasperGutman · 09/06/2013 07:15

YANBU. The children may still have enjoyed the party, but they might have enjoyed it even more if the girls had been pirates (or, for that matter, if the boys had been princesses). Sounds like the entertainer really didn't give full credit to the power of a 3-year-old's imagination!

DoctorRobert · 09/06/2013 07:36

yanbu

StealthPolarBear · 09/06/2013 07:39

"are you really that upset a children's entertainer considered pirates for boys and princess for girls."

Well FWIW yes I'd be quite annoyed. It's this sort of thing, repeatedly, which lets girls know that when they grow up they'd better be pretty and snag a man to take care of them. You're going to tell me I'm overreacting I'm sure so let's just leave it there.

MrsLouisTheroux · 09/06/2013 07:40

Oh yes, a historically accurate theme with a bit of learning thrown in is always a treat at a 3 year old's party!

You say you were stunned, saddened and irritated? Really?

Were the children happy? Or did they complain about the lack of opportunity to express themselves fully? Free from the restrictions of outdated stereotypes which had been presented to them in a historically inaccurate fashion?

You say you'd like to get to know this family better.
Please do them a favour, tell them about your concerns regarding their 3 year old's party entertainment. Give them the opportunity to decide whether or not they want to get to know you better.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 09/06/2013 07:44

YANBU.

But AIBU is not the place to pose this sort of question. Too many people who like to under-think in here.

mummybare · 09/06/2013 07:45

I'm not saying it has to be a history lesson, FFS. My point was, it's just completely random. It's not themed or anything, just a couple of stereotypes plucked out of the air.

MrsLouisTheroux · 09/06/2013 07:49

"Pirates and Princesses" = a theme.

DianaTrent · 09/06/2013 07:51

I would have been peeved. DD on the other hand would have been livid and demanded to be either a pirate or one of the monsters. No bloody way would she sit at the side looking pretty whilst the boys did all the fun bits!

MonkeysTypewriter · 09/06/2013 07:51

OP I would have been a bit annoyed too. I have a 3 yo and it is a constant battle against stereotyping.

Here is an example from this morning: 'Boys can watch Chloe's Closet can't they Mummy', 'Yes boys and girls can watch exactly the same things', 'yes boys can watch Chloes Closet because Jet is a boy', me: 'nooooo boys can watch exactly the same things as girls, it doesn't matter if there aregirls or boys in the programme'

It might seem like a silly example, but he is categorising in his head what boys can do and what girls can do and concluding that there are some things girls can't do and some thing boys can't do, and I hate that from a 3 year old. The party you describe is one more way that these views creep in.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 09/06/2013 07:54

Look. It's fine if you (generic) have no problem with girls/women being portrayed as decorative and useless, while boys/men are portrayed as capable and able.

But it's also fine to have a problem with that, especially when the message is being put out there at such a formative age.

Both stances are fine. Well, not really, but let's just say they are.

If this sort of thread/topic annoys people so much, it's a wonder they click on it, let alone post on it...

teatimesthree · 09/06/2013 07:55

YANBU. I would have been really pissed off. DD (5) now says she 'hates girly things' because of this sort of rubbish.

MrsLouisTheroux · 09/06/2013 07:56

But OP's son was a princess at this party. Sounds like there was no gender stereotyping. They could be what they wanted to be.

hesterton · 09/06/2013 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 09/06/2013 07:58

I'm guessing the entertainer said "girls to be princesses, boys to be pirates"

kickassangel · 09/06/2013 07:58

Another one with a dd who would no way sit at the side looking pretty and useless. At that age she'd have been wearing full on princess dress and being a monster.

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nettlefairy · 09/06/2013 08:01

You hit the nail on the head, MonkeyTypewriter! I was trying to find a way to explain the same myself. Twenty years ago women were considered pedantic, militantly feminist etc if they objected to men pinching their arses at work! I suppose my only addition is that I wouldn't have been shocked - you can't even buy a toy these days without it being mandatory to have an official boy (blue) and girl (pink!) version. YANBU

Trapper · 09/06/2013 08:02

YANBU Everyone knows monsters don't really exist. It was very lazy of the entertainer to introduce imaginary creatures in this manner.

StealthPolarBear · 09/06/2013 08:04

but that's not a comparable analogy. "everyone" does most certainly not know that girls can do whatever the hell they want instead of standing around looking pretty and being looked after by a man.

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