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Help me quickly please - is DH over the limit to drive?

(98 Posts)
Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:31:45

I wenttobed 30 minutes ago, reading. Horrified to hear car start as I knew DH had been in the wine, ran outside in my pants but too late to stop him
The wine bottle had about an inch maybe a bit more left, so 5/6 empty. i didnt have any (pregnant).
Rung DH (scared about him answering phone driving but more scared if i didnt stop him) luckily he answered (drink driving and on his mobile?) told him to immediately stop car and walk back, dont think he did, am hysterical at his fucking stupidity at drink driving - he'd lose his job and I dont work we would be fucked, basically ruin our lives.
I assume he was on his way to the offy to buy more booze as one bottle is rarely enough, or fags, probably both.
He says one glass was knocked over in the garden - would he still be over the limit?
He is a tall fairly big guy who drinks regularlysad sad
He has pretty much ignored my hysteria except to say he wasnt over the limit. I feel sick.

JamieOliveOil Sat 08-Jun-13 23:34:49

Yes, I'd certainly think he'd be over the limit. Sorry he's putting you through this, OP. Would he normally go out looking for alcohol at this time of night?

lurkedtoolong Sat 08-Jun-13 23:35:11

He was completely over the limit. Is he always an irresponsible, selfish cunt?

Dahlen Sat 08-Jun-13 23:35:16

THere's no definitive answer to that as it depends so much on his build, general health, what he's had to eat that day, his hydration, etc. However, even allowing for a spilled glass, chances are he's over the limit and no responsible adult who's polished off best part of a bottle would get behind the wheel.

Does he have a problem with alcohol? It sounds as though he does. Have you thought that it might actually be a good thing for him (long term) if he does lose his licence?

Bogeyface Sat 08-Jun-13 23:36:01

Yes he is.

Sorry, I know thats not what you want to hear but you have MAJOR issues here.

You are pregnant, he cant stop at one bottle and is risking your financial security for a packet of fags?

How often does he drink that much? You need to address this before the baby comes.

aladdinsane Sat 08-Jun-13 23:36:06

I would guess he is over the limit but the chances are he wont be stopped

Bogeyface Sat 08-Jun-13 23:36:58

You cant make him stop drinking, but you can refused to live with it.

wilkos Sat 08-Jun-13 23:37:11

Yes, I would think so hmm there's not much you can do now though,

gallicgirl Sat 08-Jun-13 23:37:31

Almost definitely I think. Unless its taken him hours to drink and he's had food.

However, given his size and propensity to drink, he might think he's functioning ok. Not condoning his actions in any way though.

Irishchic Sat 08-Jun-13 23:37:33

Sorry OP this is awfully stressful for you.

Technically he is over the limit, if he was tested he would probably be found over the limit.

However, if he is used to drinking a lot, is of big build etc, he is probably not going to be swerving all over the road type of thing or driving in a manner that would attract police attention.

Still illegal though and bloody stupid reckless behaviour - he has a problem here, either with his attitude or alcohol abuse, or probably both, and this is terrible for you to have to deal with and any stage let alone when you are pregnant.

Get some outside help and support on how to deal with this problem, you cant do this on your own.

Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:38:28

He is back now but I am shaking and crying as I think I've just realised he really has a problem with booze,
He works shifts and often uses alcohol to get to sleep
Not uncommon for 2 bottles of wine a night or a bottle wine and several bottles of beer, he doesnt seem to have a stop cut off
He is so often in bed sleeping off hangovers I am tired tired tired of it
But never seen him drink drive before

Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:39:21

Its worrying that he can drink the best of part of a bottle of wine and think he's ok to drive, he didn't seem drunk but that's probably just because he drinks so much usually

Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:39:46

He bought the bottle at 9pm and had it with some food?

BriansBrain Sat 08-Jun-13 23:40:46

He may not have been due to his weight, food intake etc etc but we all no hat zero should be the limit and 1 glass of wine is the legal limit so yes he shouldn't have driven.

Why is he sitting up drinking more than a bottle of wine to himself on his own with you pregnant? How far gone are you, what would happen if you needed to go to the hospital?

He is either struggling with some hard times or a selfish twunt.

BegoniaBampot Sat 08-Jun-13 23:41:37

He needs to really discuss and think about this. He could be driving with your child/children one day after drinking.

You can but disposable breathalysers from Boots etc. at least they can show him whether he is or not and might make him think more.

JamieOliveOil Sat 08-Jun-13 23:42:29

Ah no that's so sad, OP. Gosh he really needs to take a hard look at his behaviour and think about how it impacts on you and your unborn child. Sending you a hug.

Bogeyface Sat 08-Jun-13 23:44:56

This is not about drink driving.

This man has a problem and unless you are careful it will be your problem too. It needs addressing now, not when he has lost his job and/or license through his drinking.

How do you think it will be when you go into labour after he has had a skin full? Or when you are up all night with a newborn, needing help, but he is in an alcoholic stupor?

There is help out there for you, and him if he chooses to take it. Do you think that he will address his alcohol issues?

mummymeister Sat 08-Jun-13 23:45:29

Re -read your post OP. "... 2 bottles of wine a night, uses alcohol to get to sleep, doesn't seem to have a cut off, sleeping off hangovers..." this is a man with a serious alcohol problem. he is going to be around a new born baby soon (your first I assume) this is such a bad idea - falling asleep whilst holding the baby, not being able to help you through the night. you need to get some help. he will only get it when he accepts he has a problem and he is a long way from that if he thinks driving after that much alcohol is OK. get a good nights rest and make a plan in the morning. this isn't going to solve itself and you need your strength to sort it out. I really feel for you OP.

kim147 Sat 08-Jun-13 23:45:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface Sat 08-Jun-13 23:47:44

I should add, I used to have alcohol issues, but I never drove. I knew I was over the limit, and I think that points to a certain amount of self awareness that drove (sorry) me to sort out my problem.

The fact that he can drink a bottle of wine and still think he is ok to drive leads me to think that he will deny he has a problem. You need to consider what you will do if thats what happens.

Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:47:49

I'm not far gone enough to expect to go into labour but he got v drunk at a wedding in the middle of nowhere once when I was 36 weeks, I went back to hotel alone with our 3 year old and he walked the 2 miles back to our hotel from the venue at god knows what hour (no taxis). As an example.
This will be our third DC and he's been binge drinking since we were together, gets drunk at home alone after shifts. I feel like he doesnt have much of a social life etc (neither do I!) and drinking at home is all he enjoys

NatashaBee Sat 08-Jun-13 23:50:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:50:40

i've had the let downs before, expecting after say a midnight finish to be around by decent time in the morning to help me with newborn or newborn plus toddler, but no, comes home with a load of booze and is useless until midday.
I am dreading this baby and the newborn stage again
He doesn't drink like this all the time, sometimes he comes off the booze and fags for months but always goes back on it

Dhisafuckwit Sat 08-Jun-13 23:52:26

He says it was half a bottle because of the knocked over glass, our glasses are not v big so I think he'd had at least 2/3 a bottle. He thinks 2 glasses but there just wasn't enough left in the bottle it was virtually empty. And i don't know if i believe a glass got knocked over, we were sat on the sofa all night and he never mentioned he had knocked a glass over outside

BriansBrain Sat 08-Jun-13 23:55:14

Well I'm sitting here drinking my last glass of 1 bottle to myself so I'm not judging at all.

Have you spoken to him about how much he drinks and why he does it?

It doesn't have to be a problem it could just be a habit he needs to break.

I will probably get jumped on for that last comment but it can be a hard habit to break before it becomes a bigger problem.

Does he drink every night or just after shifts?

Him sleeping off a hangover during family time must be disheartening for you sad

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