My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to consider having my dog put down?

46 replies

Solange71 · 08/06/2013 20:33

He is elderly, not aged, but has a degenerative spinal condition which means he can now barely walk. It also means he is losing control of his bowels and bladder and can't tell when he needs to defecate or urinate. He has many accidents in the house and sometimes - increasingly - goes suddenly when he's being carried, or in the car, or wherever he happens to be.

Pet lovers on the internet suggest dog nappies, or taking him outside every couple of hours, but I don't think I can cope with these options. He goes to a carer when I'm at work, and she is understandably not too keen to continue with him in the circumstances. But as he is not apparently in significant pain, and still has an appetite, he's not really suffering that much so it would be more for my benefit than his, in a way, much as I love him. Am I justified in deciding his time has come?

OP posts:
Report
HollyBerryBush · 08/06/2013 20:34

I think you are brave. You do what you know to be right. Flowers

And keep those Flowers I'm never soppy or sentimental.

Report
TheScreamingfrog · 08/06/2013 20:37

This is a horrible place to be for you Op. Sad
Ask yourself what his quality of life is? It's a trite phrase I guess but, for me, that would hold the answer.

Report
HaveToWearHeels · 08/06/2013 20:37

If he can barely walk and can not control his bladder or bowls YANBU.
I know if my dog could not walk his quality of life would be so low I would let him go. You know your dog so the decision lies with you.
As for other people, I know lots of people that have let their pet suffer because they can not bare the thought of loosing their pet, which is completely selfish attitude.

Report
NatashaBee · 08/06/2013 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LEMisdisappointed · 08/06/2013 20:39

Oh you poor thing :( poor dog. You know, he will hate not being clean and messing himself all the time. His quality of life will be suffering and i can't help but think WTF when it comes to pet nappies, it will be a nightmare - all the mess getting stuck in his fur :( I think if he was my dog i would be thinking that it was time to let him go with dignity

So sorry xxx

Report
Parker231 · 08/06/2013 20:39

I've been there but the best thing you can do is ask what quality of life does the dog have ? From what you say it's is poor and not going to improve and it may be in the dog's bests interest to make the very difficult decision to have him put to sleep to avoid him suffering.

Report
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 08/06/2013 20:41

Yanbu. It's so distressing for them to be unable to be a dog. That's no quality of life :(

Report
Elesbe · 08/06/2013 20:42

Being a good pet owner means taking responsibility and making difficult decisions. Not having control over his bodily functions would cause distress. You know what you have to do. Be brave. Flowers

Report
Branleuse · 08/06/2013 20:42

thats no life for a dog

Report
AtYourCervix · 08/06/2013 20:44

Such a horrible decision to make. But I agree it is the right one. And brave too.

I am waiting for the day I need to do the same for my old boy. Also has spinal condition and is wobbly.

I hope I'm brave like you when the time comes.

Report
ShinyPenny · 08/06/2013 20:45

You are justified. It sounds like it's time to let him go.

I am sorry, it's very hard. :(

Report
DizzyZebra · 08/06/2013 20:46

Yanbu. Pain or not I think its cruel to keep an animal alive when it can barely walk tbh. The dog won't know why it can't walk and will be distressed.

Report
Sparrowlegs248 · 08/06/2013 20:46

Better a year too early than a day too late. I had a 13yr old dog, female. She went ecerywhere with me, including work, til she was 10. I got a different job and she had to stay home. She hated being alone and would howl as i left her. At 13 her legs were not great - not terribky bad but not good. She would also wee on her bed most days, and wasn't happy about it ( behaved as though she had done something wrong even though i never told her off) I made the decisiin to have her put to sleep. Had i been able to work from home it wouldn't have entered my head. But she ws alone 8 - 6 every day. It broke my heart and still does. She was having a good day when the vet came (i got them to come to the house) She sat on my lap and had an in jection and went to sleep. I sobbed and am now nearly 4 yrs on but the guilt that i had felt every day as i left her, and as i cleaned her up while she looked miserable, left me. Its a difficult decision but he will not know anything of it esp if you have the vet come to you. It will be worse for you than him.

Report
CabbageLeaves · 08/06/2013 20:48

Let him go x

Your guilt over how difficult it is to manage is clouding your judgement about what is right for him. It's time to take this decision

Report
lljkk · 08/06/2013 20:52

If he's no prospect of getting better than yanbu. It's better to go when he's still got some quality of life left.

Must be very :(, though. I would struggle with it, too.

Report
Solange71 · 08/06/2013 20:57

Thank you for such kind replies. It is really helpful to have objective views on this as it's such a hard decision. It will make me feel better about it when the time comes.

OP posts:
Report
HaveToWearHeels · 08/06/2013 21:31

I agree with Nottalotta hopefully you can get the vet to come to you. I think it is makes it easier for them to pass in their environment. When I had to let my girl go I arranged for a lunchtime visit. We spent the morning together just hanging out and she had all her favourite human food. She went peacefully with me holding her and looking into her eyes. It was my final act of love.
Sad have some Wine

Report
iago · 08/06/2013 21:37

Let him go. Horrible decision for you, but best for the dog.

Report
SplitHeadGirl · 08/06/2013 21:37

The vet came to my house when it was time for my Retriever to go. Like your dog he couldn't really walk - his back legs just gave out and even though he wasn't in so much pain that he couldn't eat, it just felt that the time had come to say goodbye. He seemed to know it was time too.

It was no life for him, and it started to feel I as hanging on to him for ME, which was so unfair on him.

I think you will know when the time comes.

Report
Audio158 · 08/06/2013 21:43

So, so sorry for the situation you are in.

Everyone here sympathises but agrees that you need to make that awful decision.

Google Rudyard Kipling's ' The Power of the Dog'.

Report
thegreylady · 08/06/2013 21:54

It is time-you know that I have done it with my beloved 18 year old Cairn who was in exactly that condition.I still cry 12 years later but I know it was the right thing to do.
Love to you

Report
CabbageLeaves · 08/06/2013 21:59

Oh Audio

That made me howl

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

pigletmania · 08/06/2013 22:04

Oh have tower heels that is so sad but so lovely too, that she was in her own environment when she passed

Report
specialsubject · 08/06/2013 22:16

a dog that can't walk?
Put him down, it is cruel to keep him alive.

the only sadness is that people do not have the same option when their time comes.

Report
mrslaughan · 08/06/2013 22:23

No you are not being unreasonable. What a terrible situation to be in.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.