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WIBU To put new fencing up to stop neighbours child coming into my garden

(51 Posts)
rainbowslollipops Wed 05-Jun-13 18:07:49

He does it as soon as dd and I get home. He climbs through his playhouse into my garden and waits for dd. He can be there from as early as 8am. He can see into my kitchen and therefore knows who's home. He just invites himself into my garden. I wasn't bothered at first but now it's every single day anyone is here. It's becoming not only scary but a pain. Would I be unreasonable to take down my fencing and put new one up that goes around the hole he can get through? just so that in future if he wants to come over he can ask. He's been told by me not to come over every day because I.want to spend time with dd cause I work I don't see her every day. But it just went over his head.

SuburbanRhonda Wed 05-Jun-13 18:10:44

How old is he?

Why haven't you spoken to his parents?

minibmw2010 Wed 05-Jun-13 18:11:26

Speak to his parents? How old is he? Scary seems a bit of an overreaction.

Caitycat Wed 05-Jun-13 18:11:29

YANBU that would drive me mad, think i'd want to have a word with his parents too.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 05-Jun-13 18:14:01

I would put a fence up. In the meantime, don't tell him - tell his parent! When he arrives in your garden, go out and march him back home, knock on the door and tell his mum to stop him from coming into your garden.

I wouldn't be frightened by it (unless he's stroking a chainsaw or something grin ) but I can certainly see that it would get to be a pain in the arse.

olidusUrsus Wed 05-Jun-13 18:15:00

YANBU. Speak to the parents & sort out a proper fence.

alexwol Wed 05-Jun-13 18:17:50

Yanbu. Get a new fence.

alienbanana Wed 05-Jun-13 18:19:50

Why don't you just tell him to go home? confused

CloudsAndTrees Wed 05-Jun-13 18:21:17

Is the fence your responsibility to pay for? If it is, then definitely replace it. If not, just board it up and stick a plant in front of it.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Wed 05-Jun-13 18:24:59

Speak to his parents. Keep telling him to go home.

I know what it is to have persistant children as neighbours. It's bloody wearing after a while years. The fence sounds like a good idea because I can't almost promise you hints and hoping won't cut it.

captainmummy Wed 05-Jun-13 18:27:54

I had this in 2 separate houses - the boy down the road would race up as soon as he saw the car. I didn;t mind, ds2 had a fantastic relationship with him (tho he did used to use our loo and request a bum-wipe from me - he was about 4!!!) DS2 was devastated when they moved away at about age 7

The 2nd house there was a girl who could see into my kitchen from over the fence (standing on a chair up against it) and would call and call. I used to ignore, quietly seething that i couldn't sit in my own kitchen.... they do grow up tho, and i got on well with the mum.

It is annoying but maybe worth it for a friendship for your dc?

rainbowslollipops Wed 05-Jun-13 19:38:39

He's 6. I'm not sure his mum is even aware when he's in my garden because he shuts the playhouse door. In fairness the fence does need replacing and where his playhouse is is actually part of my garden just without fencing there. He sees dd at school. I wouldn't mind but it's every day. When dd has other friends over, he invites himself over then gets upset when I say no. I don't want to have a bad relationship with my neighbours but it's becoming unbearable. Scary might be an overreaction but wouldnt you feel a bit weird if you were being watched washing up at 8am, putting your washing out, cutting your grass, doing a BBQ, planting etc. It feels weird knowing I'm being watched by him.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Wed 05-Jun-13 19:41:28

Well you need to make sure the playhouse is moved outof your garden pronto - his parents are effectively condoning his actions if its there.

Good fences make good neighbors.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 05-Jun-13 19:42:43

I wouldn't, no, because he's a 6 year old child. If it was an adult watching me, then yes.

But a 6 year old child?

No. What you do is you go to the parent and you show them the hole and you ask them to deal with it.

It doesn't have to cause problems. You can be calm, polite and even dress it up as concern for his safety if he's able to sneak out of their garden if you like.

WilsonFrickett Wed 05-Jun-13 19:43:33

Move his playhouse out of your garden then, and fix your fence. I have no idea why it feels weird though. Maybe a bit of a PITA, but he's 6 fgs.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 05-Jun-13 19:43:59

So are you going to fence around the playhouse which is on YOUR property? confused Ask them to move it if it's on your land! Tell them you're replacing the fence and need your bit of garden back!

As for him getting upset...tough! When he turns up you say "DD isn't playing today...go back home." that's all.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 05-Jun-13 19:51:46

ooh, I missed that bit!

Stop being such a wimp and move his playhouse back into his garden grin

IKnowWhat Wed 05-Jun-13 19:55:52

Move the playhouse and put up a new fence. You can invite him over when your DD wants to play with him.

BerthaTheBogCleaner Wed 05-Jun-13 20:01:47

Move the playhouse, not because of the child, but because it belongs to your neighbours and is on your property.

Mend the fence, not because of the child, but because your fence has a hole in it and needs mending.

Sometime when your dd wants to play with him, walk around to his front door, talk to his parents, and invite him over for a specified time.

Any other time he appears in your garden, take him back to his front door and hand him back to his parents, with a smile and a "just bringing him back as it's not a good time for dd to play right now"

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 05-Jun-13 20:03:20

Bertha says it all!

MrsEricBana Wed 05-Jun-13 20:08:07

Poor you, similar happened to us with child up on low wall shouting into our house constantly, sitting on wall watching or just jumping over constantly and running into house when we were eating etc. I did speak to the mother and she has not been the same with me since as se presumably couldn't see any issue with it at all, he was a nice little lad etc. I just felt I couldn't relax in my own home. In view of this, in your situation I would board up where he's coming in and then speak to the mother if it persists and say he's welcome to come round but you'd prefer a knock on the front door.
Agree with Bertha.

rainbowslollipops Wed 05-Jun-13 20:29:30

The playhouse is wooden so I'm not sure if it's able to be moved but it certainly is an odd place to put one at the end of your neighbours fence. The fence does need fixing so I'll have a word with my neighbour about moving it so I can fix it. I just don't want to start problems but I don't know how much longer I can live with this. He's even let himself in my back door before. Now that door is always locked unless dd or I am outside. I can't have it open in the summer he'll just waltz in.

digerd Wed 05-Jun-13 21:20:23

If the fence is yours and not your neighbour's then you can fix it. Anything of theirs that is on your land, you first ask them to move by a certain date. If they do not do it, you have the legal right to remove it yourself and return it to them undamaged.

If it is their fence, you can only put a barrier up on your side of the boundary, but with the playhouse, the rules still apply as already stated.

MyDarlingClementine Wed 05-Jun-13 22:15:16

Yes board up and do not mention it - unless it somehow happens after you have done this.

w.

2rebecca Wed 05-Jun-13 22:23:38

I'd repair the fence because the fence needs repairing. Tell your neighbours you are repairing your fence and they may need to move the playhouse. Don't make it personal and about him at the moment just sort it out.

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