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AIBU?

to have 'loud parented' and 'passive agressively' today?

8 replies

youarewinning · 30/05/2013 20:10

In a country park - in the big wooden adventure playground.

DS (8) playing with his cousin (7). Climbing into a wooden tunnel. Cousin gets upset at children hitting tunnel with sticks as the noise bothers him. (he has witnessed DV)

Anyhoo..... DS came out and asked the boys to stop banging as cousin was scared. Boys begin to do it more. DS leaves tunnel and is standing alone.
One of the boys starts hitting DS with the stick in his hand and DS looked genuinly worried and the other boy got right in his face, DS moved back cowering.

I am approaching to move DS onto something else when I see the boys grandad approaching, I hold back expecting him to tell them hitting isn't nice and to stop. But, no Shock, they tell GD DS is annoying them so he nods and suggest they play elsewhere away from him then. Then tells my DS to leave them alone.

Anyway in a voice loud enough to make my feelings clear I said to DS "Are you OK? Don't let others hit you - there's no excuse for it" Blush

GD said to his boys "well we were leaving anyway - lets go"

I've really lowered my standards today haven't I? Grin

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HollyBerryBush · 30/05/2013 20:12

YABU but only for the reason you should have fronted out what really happened - ie "your child/ren were assaulting my child"

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TattyDevine · 30/05/2013 20:21

Ah because he was a granddad he might not have wanted to get too involved in telling them off, he might get grief from his daughter/son/son in law or whatever...no excuse, if he's in sole charge he should be allowed to...but he might have been summonsed to do free babysitting as its half term...who knows. Good chance he was thinking "ah shit if they were my kids I'd give them a good telling off but I'll just slink away"...

PA mutterings okay in this situation, well, excusable.

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Damnautocorrect · 30/05/2013 20:28

No you were not being unreasonable. Grand father should have at least attempted a 'play nicely'

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NotYoMomma · 30/05/2013 20:34

Sounds like grand father didn't see it so you should have just told him what had happened.

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Dorange · 30/05/2013 20:37

Well. I would have talked to GD about everything you saw and even challenge the other children to say otherwise'
But that is just me.
I love confrontation.

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youarewinning · 30/05/2013 21:57

I usually just go and talk to DS - help him deal with it himself.

I thought the GD was about to tell the boys to stop - it seemed that way but then took a 'well if he's annoying you, fair enough' approach.

I should have said something - I knew it straightaway.

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Dorange · 31/05/2013 07:42

you can tell other kids to stop destructive or dangerous behavior too if there isn't an adult around to c control them.
once at the playground I saw a boy attempting to kick my dd and she asking him to stop. I could see her nearly getting kicked in the face as she was sitting down and the boy was standing. I had to shout for him to stop and he started crying and came down crying from the climbing frame until adult came out of nowhere to console him.
I remained there waiting for the parents or anybody else to come and confront me but they didn't....
The whole playground stopped when I shouted and I didn't care.
Also told my daughter off for not getting far away from the boy when she was nearly getting kicked.

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Lweji · 31/05/2013 07:52

I've really lowered my standards today haven't I?

Yes, you should have told them to stop it and told off grandfather too.

If there are adults around and they do nothing, it's as if they allow this behaviour to happen.

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