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To think DH that hollering DS name will not help

(7 Posts)
MommyB3 Mon 27-May-13 19:37:10

With
a - encouraging eating a meal
B - sleeping
C- calming down
D- getting them to come to you
E - stopping winging as DS has no words/signs
F- any other random rage moment of scaring your son

Or will it indeed not help in any way other than emergency stop in tracks attention grabbing.

It seems my husbands go to method of 'parenting', and I've tried everything from subtlety through parenting of my husband right through to nagging and once (out of sheer exhaustion) hollering DH name at him to see if it helps him to sleep/eat/communicate.

My OH is definitely struggling with being a dad, unfortunately DS is near 15 mo and my plentiful patience is wearing very very thin parenting son and husband.... :/ hence first MN post and getting a bit ranty.

To top it all, I went back to work FT & this is the point I have to deal with first teeth (I know- quite late), sleep walking & talking, and my husband hollering goodbye to our son and driving off several times at 2am....I now have my foot in a cast as I've badly sprained my ankle.

Rant over. No need reply I've got it off my chest now lol

MogTheForgetfulCat Mon 27-May-13 19:49:24

He drives off at 2am? How incredibly unhelpful and immature. A 15mo is still a baby! What does he think his actions will achieve? And why hasn't he realised that his approach isn't working?

Would he go to a parenting class or read a good parenting book, do you think?

VikingLady Mon 27-May-13 20:36:15

What does he bring to the family?

blondefriend Mon 27-May-13 21:32:16

I had similar issues a year ago. My ds had had many medical issues and therefore spent a lot of time away from dh whilst in and out of hospital. He then had eating issues (was tube fed) and attachment issues with me. I also went back to work FT. My dh used to get so stressed with ds and shout at him, not helpful when trying to encourage a child with eating problems to eat. However we did have a good sit down and I let everything out (ok, I shouted at him). My dh really struggled with it all, he felt that ds was rejecting him and in many ways he was. DH would try and cuddle him, play with him and ds would cry, struggle and run to me, However I pointed out that only one of them was the adult and only he could change. It wasn't an immediate fix. Ds will still always come to me in preference but we have got there, step by step. In fact today was the first time ever that he asked "dada" to put him to bed. And he's not perfect. He shouted at ds today for crying because he was scared of a puppy. Yep - that helps! But it is a lot better. I hope you can find a way through. x

MommyB3 Mon 27-May-13 21:35:26

The driving off was at the peak of first experience of teething however yes it is immature and unhelpful. I may have to trawl for a book - really not his thing.

The house is frantically tidied and washing machine loaded/unloaded.,I do meals, shopping, putting away so that's fairly well divided.

Family however seems an alien concept. It's tough seeing positive things and buoying up when I feel like the only one doing the gluing together...... Tidy house doesn't equal a home.

MommyB3 Mon 27-May-13 21:40:42

Most of my problem is not being able to have a shout- I am useless at it. We had a talk tonight but only managed to address limiting the use of pc for gaming, a fortnight ago it was whether DH needs a counsellor. mainly cuz i want our family to stay together cuz fundamentally we manage, but its just soooooooo damned hard!!!

MommyB3 Mon 27-May-13 21:42:12

Thanks blondefriend smile it does help just hearing someone else say they have had similar.... Same as every other post on mn ever! x

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