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to think you should only tut/ slate/ roll eyes at another child' behaviour - when your is perfect.....

(17 Posts)
youarewinning Mon 27-May-13 18:35:15

so pretty much never? grin

Want general consensus before I have a real rant about this afternoon!

zonetwo Mon 27-May-13 18:48:57

Yanbu except where supermarkets and dc of sils are concerned grin. --my mum said never criticise other people's if your own aren't perfect- yd

Sirzy Mon 27-May-13 18:49:24

I try not to tut but its easier said than done

I did have to laugh this evening when out for a meal with DS (3.5)when another mother made a rather loud "yes you don't need a computer to keep you entertained" comment to her daughter when DS was playing on his leap pad waiting for a meal. 5 minutes later had daughter was running and screaming around the place until her mother caught her! So yes best not to judge others too quickly!

loofet Mon 27-May-13 18:54:00

Yanbu.

Only had this happen once on a train. DC1 was about 18 months and we'd been out for the day shopping, he was exhausted and started screaming, tried everything but couldn't get him to stop because he just needed to sleep. Mother with a buggy just across from us started saying to her small baby LOUDLY 'Oh you're such a good boy aren't you? Not crying, such a good baby'. angry I'm not a violent person but on that particular day I wanted to be grin

CreatureRetorts Mon 27-May-13 18:57:23

I've tutted and commented nervously - like a fucking tic and I'm so blush afterwards and think what a tit I am. Especially as my ds is no angel.

Beamur Mon 27-May-13 18:57:54

It's usually the parents I'm disapproving of, not the kids. But generally, I'm supportive rather than judgemental as everyone is entitled to a bad day (or 2 or 3..)
(I am of course perfect in every way a la Mary Poppins) grin

EggsMichelle Mon 27-May-13 18:58:01

A friends 2yr old is a little horror, but I have to laugh at her pulling her hair out because that will probably be me in 18m (DS is already defiantly rolling when I change his nappy and spreading poosplotions!)

mumofthemonsters808 Mon 27-May-13 19:11:22

I'm guilty of lots of things but doing this is not one of them. Usually I smile sympathetically because I have been in these type of situations so many times when DS is not cooperating and we are in a public place. DS has a terrible habit of pointing out naughty behaviour in other children in a very loud voice as though he is an angel child when he is actually being bribed by the promise of a matchbox car.

pointythings Mon 27-May-13 19:12:50

I don't eyeroll at children. I do however eyeroll very occasionally at utterly ineffectual parents who let their DCs get away with all kinds of crap behaviour.

Pozzled Mon 27-May-13 19:16:04

I used to judge before I had kids. I used to think it was all so simple- consistent discipline and your children will always behave beautifully.

Nowadays I try to give the parents a sympathetic smile.

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 27-May-13 19:16:33

Grr to mum on train! I'd have said, "oh he was an angel when he was that age, believe me!" stupid cow.

youarewinning Mon 27-May-13 19:43:18

I don't eyeroll at children. I do however eyeroll very occasionally at utterly ineffectual parents who let their DCs get away with all kinds of crap behaviour.

See, this is the thing. The person doing the continual dialogue of what other, unknown to us, children were doing is actually the parent of 2 DC's who are very much the same. Her choice is the ignore route, fair enough, but I don't get how you can hoik your judgy pants at a child who yells 'Oh my god' loudly in the park when your children do the same and often with a 'I hate you' and slap her at the same time.

I think I spent a whole hour saying - they're just children, children often have emotional outbursts, children often wind each other up the wrong way, children do argue. I kept saying lot's of children did the same things - Basically saying to ignore it as they'll find their way in the social world by learning through mistakes and sucessess. I even suggested next time we sit further away as if they had 100m+ to come and 'tell tales' they may feel less inclined to do so!

I am torn between wondering if my friend is truely blinkered to the behaviour of her DC's or is trying to make hers look less unbehaved by pointing out others? Hers are very vocal and she hates it when other adults pull them up on rudeness, always defending them - so wonder why she would do it to others?

Just for the record - my DS has social problems so I KNOW he isn't perfect grin

wheredidiputit Mon 27-May-13 19:47:36

You summed it up yourself. She does it so she feels better about how her children behave.

pointythings Mon 27-May-13 20:57:19

No-one's DC are perfect. Mine certainly aren't. Which is why I reserve my occasional eyerolling for people like the mum at our local pool whose son kept walking in and out every forty-five blinking seconds, activating the automatic doors and letting the freezing January air in every sodding time. She said 'Oh please don't do that darling once to her pfb and then let him get away with it for another half hour. Mine would have had their bums on seats and a rocket in their ears, no trouble. I can handle just about everything, except not even bloody trying to keep your kids under control.

Kiwiinkits Mon 27-May-13 22:20:58

I have an internal eyeroll that I apply to most children, who are inarticulate snotty horrors next to my own perfect angels. I thought all mothers were like that.

HandMini Mon 27-May-13 22:25:32

OP, you're right, you should try and take this attitude. I used to be so condescending about other people's children and parenting. I now have a toddler - that'll teach me.

youarewinning Tue 28-May-13 08:42:06

pointy I would have had an eyeroll - and probably not a well concealed one - at the parents of that boy! But thats it, at the mum, she gave no reason for her son to do as he was asked because he could carry on doing as he pleased. Children learn the rules - I don't believe they are born and enjoy being 'naughty'.
This is my friend to a T. Constant, please don't, counting to 5, saying I'll take it away, child stops so giving another chance. I respect that's her way of parenting but feel it's a bit rich to eyeroll and comment on other children's behaviour that is the same.

I have to say, we parent very differently..... but this has been great in a way because her extreme relaxed attitude has rubbed off and I now pick my battles and my friend actually does 'have words' with her children quite often now as she's seen the benefit of no nonsense approach in certain circumstances.

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