I do not want to bring up any pain or make ANY judgements on anyone - male or female, who may have done this for any reason. But because of my personal situation, I need to understand.
Short background - ex left 2011 and my little girl (then 14) was enormously stressed - to the point of serious physical symptoms...passing out etc. Enough to be recommended for her to have a heart scan. Serious stuff. I was very ill too at the time, with pre-existing lymphoma. Bad time. But ex was appalling - a previously fantastic father with enormous ties to his daughter, just seemed to let go of her and did not want to know any of her subsequent problems.
He has not got better and my daughter made a very harsh decision not now to spend time with him. She is suffering some anxiety and depression and it has been suggested that she may have some post-traumatic stress syndrome - which seems odd (usually connected with war etc) but would fit. Of course, I would love her to have some sort of relationship with her father and as such, I have seen and spoken to him several times - told him to call up once a week to check on his daughter, to make her feel loved. Maybe then she will eventually thaw, although she is adamant that she wants nothing to do with him.
I have begged him to call - become quite upset because my daughter is really struggling with her depression. But he won't. In the last conversation, he was truly unpleasant. He gives money when asked, but will not respond on any emotional level. She had whooping cough for three weeks and he wouldn't even respond when told.
Why wouldn't a parent check on their child? I know you can care from a distance, but surely you would want to know? He even missed her 16th birthday. All I hear from him is that 'Oh well she doesn't want anything to do with me - what am I expected to do?'
To call. Once a week. To help a girl who has currently has a few mental health issues - including an eating disorder and terror at being abandoned.
So please - please talk me through the psychology of this, so that I can try and understand.
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AIBU?
Delicate, this one.....struggling with understanding how any parent (male or female) lets go of their child
44 replies
Punkatheart · 27/05/2013 14:18
OP posts:
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