Drunken bum face of a husband

[plim]

So husband goes out last night with a mutual mate of ours to see his favourite band. The gig was on till 3am but as I have been on a course all weekend we agreed that he would not get too shitfaced so we could have a half decent bank hol mon afternoon - I agreed the morning would be a write off as long as he sorted himself out by noon! Anyway, he stayed at my mums in town to save money on a cab. He got in at 4.15 am and can't remember getting home, threw up this morning and got here at 11.30. I made him a bottle of juice and rehydration stuff and a fry up. But he said he could t see straight and was tired. I didn't lose it but said why couldn't you go out and not get totally wrecked? It's ruined our day together and said I was taking the kids to the park. He kicked off, I'm middle aged aged woman, a nag, he's had enough of it, he does more than most men, most men wouldn't have been back by now. Etc etc.

Aibu?

[NynaevesSister]

Oh that would set me off - the more than most men bit. My reply to that is I didn't marry most men I married you and I thought you were better than that and above average.

Hubs pulls that one and it gets up my nose.

[squeakytoy]

depends on whether this is something he does all the time.. if you have been on a course was he doing childcare while you did that?

[ChaoticTranquility]

Whether or not he was parenting his children is irrelevant. He agreed not to get shitfaced so they could spend the afternoon together. It's not necessary to get paralytic to have a good time.

YANBU

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

He needs to grow up. Throwing up at your mother's house? He also had plans to honour. YANBU.

[FrickingFedUp]

I would cut him a bit if slack - I am only saying this because I have had the best of intentions and planned not to get too drunk, then had just one too many and dp has taken care of dd the next day, and he never gives me a hard time! Only happens once in a blue moon.

Realistically even if he had been out til 3 and not touched a drop he may have been knackered anyway? Know I would!

[Wheresmycaffeinedrip]

I just don't see the need to get that plastered. Seriously how can that be a good time??? Yanbu. Doesnt matter what the were or weren't. When you do something like that you know you are going to be incapable of looking after your own children. Parenting is not optional. If you had a baby sitter you would have had to be functioning the next morning. Just because its your wife doing the childcare doesn't make it acceptable to be an idiot.

[DoJo]

Does he ever get the chance to go out and get completely wrecked if that's his idea of a good night? Not that I am condoning his behaviour in this instance because you had an agreement, but if he feels as though he is always having to curtail his fun then perhaps he thought it would be easier to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. Of course, if this is what he wants, then it has to be conditional on you having the chance to do something equally irresponsible when you want to in order to ensure that he isn't taking the piss.
However, on this occasion, I would be calling him on the drinking and the deferring of the blame - he did the wrong thing, and turning it around on you and making out that you are unreasonable is compounding that. If he didn't want to agree to your request, then that was the time to say that he thought it was unreasonable, not after he has gone against the agreement you made.