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AIBU..to expect my DH to get out of bed and spend time with his family??

(10 Posts)
crazeelaydee Mon 27-May-13 10:53:09

Well my DH only seems to be able to get himself out of bed if he is a) doing something that benefits himself/friends. OR b) to go to work.

As I type this I am getting slightly annoyed at the fact that it is almost 11am...and because he doesn't have to go work or tinker with some random crap in his garage he is still in bed..grrrrr....

Ever since our 1st Dc was born he just can't seem to get his ass out of bed for us!

We have debated spoken about it many times over the past 8 years. He will always say it's because he needs to be woken up because he goes into a really deep sleep, so I send the Dc up to wake him (at around 10 am...I would call that a pretty impressive lie in considering I have not been in bed after 7.30am since the birth of my Ds 8!!) and they get shouted at because his eyes hurt (from welding/flashed up), his back hurts (he has arthritis which only ever affects him when he isn't doing something he wants to like lifting new engines into his mates cars! confused) and still he doesn't get out of bed until 12.30 sometimes 1.00. I have pointed out that the Dc aren't exactly quiet when they wake in a morning but he can't seem to hear them hmm, YET if he hears a friend of his come into the house at 8.15am and chat quietly to me in the kitchen he is up...dressed...and downstairs making said friend a brew???, granted he will lean onto the kitchen work top gritting his teeth about his bad back (but never reaches for the pain killers as you would expect) but he STILL manages to hear and get out of bed!!!

AIBU to be very pissed off about this?? and to think that he doesn't give a toss about spending time with his Dc?? or me for that matter!. WIBU if I was to ban something he would enjoy like sex until he decides to stop being so bloody annoying??

Answers on a post card please before I really lose my cool! grin

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 27-May-13 10:58:48

hmmm he's not sounding much of a partner

you do the skivvying, he brings home the money? Is that the arrangement?

grants1000 Mon 27-May-13 11:07:51

No you are not being unreasonable, so selfish, as for his mates coming into the house at 8.15am FUCK OFF!

I am in the same boat, DH played cricket from 1pm til 9.30pm, so he's just got ready now and we have idea what we are doing on this bank holiday, as per usual its up to me use my brain as to what do today as I am the only one who can apparently. So tedious and boring to be the only person with a an ounce of thought!

BackforGood Mon 27-May-13 11:19:34

Well, I don't have a problem with anyone lying in until their body naturally wakes them up, if there isn't anything to get up for, so it depends.
I'm not sure why you have never lain in past 7.30 ? Is it because you happen to be a morning person? You say your ds is 8, so perfectly capable of being up for a while on his own - you don't say how old the younger ones are?

HollyBerryBush Mon 27-May-13 12:14:55

I have the converse!

Should I get the children up (currently 12.15) to spend time with us!

naaaaah!

pictish Mon 27-May-13 12:21:07

Yanbu - he just pleases himself doesn't he?
If you can live with that then ok...but I know that I couldn't be entertaining him and his lie ins and double standards.

Cerisier Mon 27-May-13 12:23:02

My teens like a lie in at the weekend these days (and so do I). DH tends to be up and about at the crack of dawn but he doesn't mind what the rest of us do.

OP it is not unreasonable to cajole DH out of bed at 11am, but it is unreasonable not to let him lie in until then if he wants to catch up on sleep after a busy week.

When we had small children DH and I would have one lie in each at the weekend.

BusStopWanker Mon 27-May-13 12:24:40

So he hasn't gotten up with the kids at all and let you have a lay in, in the past 8 years? Not sure I could be with someone that selfish or self absorbed TBH.

Yama Mon 27-May-13 12:27:51

I don't think I would have much respect for someone who treats others with such indifference.

He is indifferent to your needs.

He is indifferent to the needs of his dc.

And lazy to boot.

dreamingbohemian Mon 27-May-13 12:28:32

YANBU

I'm sorry but he really doesn't seem to care about you

I don't think it's a good idea to use sex for blackmail, but I don't understand why you want to have sex with someone who's such an arse.

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