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To think that if you receive a wedding present, you should say thank you?!

(112 Posts)
frissonpink Sun 26-May-13 18:31:44

Just that really.

No card. No letter. No phone call. No fb message even!

Just no thank you.

Her wedding was 4 months ago. Just had lunch today with another friend who was a guest, and she asked me if I'd received a thank you , because she hadn't. Both of us had sent cheques for £50 and gifts.

The cheques were cashed incidentally the day after the wedding!

She's a good friend (old school friend). Do we mention it? Or just leave it.?

Souredstones Sun 26-May-13 18:33:00

Mention it. We got to 8 weeks post wedding before ours went out simply because we were waiting for official photos so we could send a relevant one in with each card.

Could be she's being rude though

DiscoDonkey Sun 26-May-13 18:33:50

My friends wedding was two years ago and we never got a thank you , not even mentioned in passing. Rude IMO

frissonpink Sun 26-May-13 18:35:16

Ahh. That's a good point. Maybe she is waiting for something to come back.

I honestly thought maybe it had got lost in the post!

But now there's two of us who have heard nothing. hmm

I might add we weren't even invited to the wedding, only the evening do!

CloudsAndTrees Sun 26-May-13 18:35:17

I wouldn't mention it, but I would remember it.

I have a quite good old school friend that did the same a few years ago, and although I've never mentioned it or held it against her, I do remember and like her a tiny bit less for it. It's just plain rude!

Numberlock Sun 26-May-13 18:35:59

You may have previously thought she was a good friend but she's clearly not.

Christ, how long does it take to write a short message in a card and post it?

Presumably you see her regularly? I'd definitely question her. It's just downright rude.

funkypigeon Sun 26-May-13 18:36:37

YANBU, totally rude IMO.

BarredfromhavingStella Sun 26-May-13 18:40:39

Had to laugh at this thread as it made me realise that my friend never sent me a thank you card or anything & her wedding was 3 years ago-never occurred to me before...

WineNot Sun 26-May-13 18:49:17

Our 'thank yous' went out 3 weeks after the wedding (after we got back from honeymoon) and I felt awful leaving it that long!

oneofthosedays Sun 26-May-13 18:49:34

We went to a friend's wedding a few years ago - Dh, dc1&2 and me - involved a night in the ridiculously expensive hotel, long round trip, new outfits for all of us and a gift, card and money for them. We never heard from them again, no thank you for coming, nothing. I was not impressed!

ghosteditor Sun 26-May-13 18:52:56

how long does it take to write a simple thank you note?

Er... Several weeks before the official photos are ready, then longer to select one and send to the printer, then receive and write personal notes in each! It took us days to write thank you cards as we had dozens and dozens of cards to write.

But YANBU to think a card is common courtesy wink

littlemonkeychops Sun 26-May-13 18:53:37

We went to 3 weddings last summer, all involved travel and hotels etc and giftlists/cash presents. Only got a thank you card for one of them. I do think it's rude but wondered if cards just aren't expected anymore.
When we sent our thank yous out after our wedding it was as much to thank people for making the effort to travel to share our day with us as the presents.

Numberlock Sun 26-May-13 18:58:23

I've never heard of sending photos with thank you notes. I think I'd rather have a thank you card quicker without one. Doesn't have to be a lengthy message - a nice card with "thanks so much for the lovely wine glasses which we can't wait to christen! So glad you were able to join us on our special day. Lots of love from John and Sue."

Leeds2 Sun 26-May-13 18:59:54

I once went to a wedding (about 20 years ago, lol) where the place card at the meal with my name on it said, at the bottom, something like, "The bride and groom thank you for your good wishes, and gifts." Never got a proper thank you. have always remembered it!

My niece got married a month ago, and we received the thank you yesterday. I do know though that she still hasn't got her photos back, although I can't think that they would take 4 months!

Aitchy Sun 26-May-13 19:00:50

We went to a wedding last July and gave the bride and groom £100 (they sent one of those poems with the invite asking for cash)

We haven't heard from them since, let alone had a thank you from them.

Rude rude rude

Bearbehind Sun 26-May-13 19:02:03

ghosteditor if your photos take that long it is possible to just buy normal cards to avoid offending your guests- I'm sure they'd rather have a thank you than a photo!

OP YANBU there are way to many money grabbing brides and grooms out there and I think this is just another symptom.

IMO thank you cards should go out a maximum of 2 weeks after your honeymoon

Numberlock Sun 26-May-13 19:05:06

(they sent one of those poems with the invite asking for cash)

We haven't heard from them since, let alone had a thank you from them.

I'd love someone to come with a poem about how rude they are that you could post back to them!

scaevola Sun 26-May-13 19:09:38

You don't even need to buy cards - just write a letter on ordinary writing paper.

That's what I use when writing thank you letters to the hosts after I've been a guest at a wedding.

StrawberryMojito Sun 26-May-13 19:11:13


We made sure ours were sent out quicky. It is a bug bear of mine generally when people don't say thank you for any gifts. We have family living some distance away that we always send a birthday gift for their children. They never, ever thank us. They do send a gift for our DS and I always make sure I thank them, it's just basic manners.

Also, I really don't get this printing off fancy photos to send with a thank you card. A friend of mine did it following her wedding. It took two months. What is the point?! Just send a thank you card with a personal message within the month. Why would you want people who had spent money on you thinking you hadn't appreciated their gift?

Rant over.

jollygoose Sun 26-May-13 19:14:51

yanbu its very rude not to say thank you. I have grown up neices I have stopped putting money in bday cards as they cant be bothered to say thank you.

ConferencePear Sun 26-May-13 19:17:44

I hate this. We were sent a list lodged at a specified store; the gift we chose was not the cheapest. New outfit for us both, night in a pricey hotel.
I don't even know if they got the gift. This could be a good fiddle for someone dishonest in the store.

Bearbehind Sun 26-May-13 19:21:00

Not great but it's a start:-

Many many moons ago
A couple that we used to know
Invited us to be at their wedding
And cash they wanted instead of bedding

Many many months have past
This bride and groom just can't be assed
To thank the guests who were there
They really don't seen to care

Now they've had their big day
And done everything just their way
All these things I now am knowing
I wish I hadn't bothered going

QueVes Sun 26-May-13 19:22:54

No you're right this is very rude. I went to a wedding a couple of years ago and gave the couple £50 and didn't get a thank you, but a friend who had given more because his wealthy parents chipped in was thanked by the groom in front of me! Wish I hadn't bothered now.

cozietoesie Sun 26-May-13 19:22:59

I've never yet received a thank you for a wedding present. I don't even hope for one these days, let alone expect one.

frissonpink Sun 26-May-13 19:25:32

grin bearbehind that is fabulous!

ohhhh. And yes, this bride had sent a poem asking for cash..

sigh Well, I am heartened to know that I am not alone in thinking this is rude. A simple 'thank you for your gift' would have been sufficient.

As said, we only went to the evening do, but it involved travel, new outfits, the cost of the present and the extortionate prices at the bar that night!

I'm just sooo tempted to put something on FB along the lines of, have good manners gone out of fashion?

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