I've name changed for this one, I am married to a a wonderful man, great relationship. He has a child from a previous relationship (not ExW)
We have a good life and can afford to do some nice things because of our combined income. Should we choose to have our own child I don't have the kind of job I could return to or get any extra pay. So I would need to give up work completely until such time baby is old enough for me to look for another job which I will need to if we are living only on dh income.
There are 2 main reasons for me being very hesitant, 1 my work and 2 because although I do greatly love my dsd and we share care so 50/50 I find being unable to do things with dh when dsd is with us quite difficult.
I must say here, I am not a wicked stepmother and the relationship my husband has with his child is paramount, I have never asked to change dates of access nor leave her out she is part of our family. We both work around the times we don't have her to do the things we like if possible.
If we had our own it would be 24/7 and I do believe that when you have a child it is your responsibility to give him/her the best start in life (not money oriented) I am sure every parent wants this for their children.
Why then do I feel so resistant to having our own? I am concerned about not having a life, at least the life I have been accustomed to. I am told over and over it's different when it's your own and you will enjoy the life change because of them.
DH is not desperate to have another and is very easy about having or not having our own.
I know a lot of mums on here will say how worth it it is and how it's hard work, maybe the hard work puts me off. Having known dsd since very young now preteen I am under no illusion of just how difficult it can be.
I just don't know if i'm ready, or if indeed I ever will be! AIBU or just plain selfish?!
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AIBU?
To be unsure about wanting my own child?
35 replies
Veryunsure · 26/05/2013 12:01
OP posts:
tiggytape ·
26/05/2013 16:00
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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