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To be annoyed with friend?

(16 Posts)
DoubleIndemnity Sun 26-May-13 09:24:25

Am I reacting out of all proportion here? Feeling gloomy and let down by friend of 15+ years standing. I did Race for Life a couple of years ago with a group of (sort of ) friends, more like acquaintances. Really enjoyed it. Last year, same group decided to do a 10K instead and elsewhere. I wasn't up to that so signed up for RFL again and 15yr+ friend asked if she could do it with me. So that's what we did. She proved more enthusiastic than me and turned up full of beans in official RFL tshirt. At the end she said we simply MUST do it again this year. So when the time came I signed up online, emailed her and she said she would sign up too, couldn't wait, looking forward to it etc etc. She texted me last week to say she hadn't signed up and she said she now had to work that day. She's just emailed me saying she has tried but can't change her shifts. Don't ask me why but I don't think she ever intended to do it. I think in these circs texts and emails are a bit cowardly - why not phone me? Now I will have to do the race on my own - I don't run it, just a fast walk. I know there'll be hundreds of people there but will still feel awkward. Feeling a right mardy-bum as we say in the north but also feeling badly done to. If you can't trust your oldest friends who can you trust? Sorry, that all sounds very self-indulgent. Am just upset and needed to offload. Any opinions?

Raum Sun 26-May-13 09:50:22

You won't be the only one there alone who wants to walk the route, also nothing was sipping you picking up the phone to call her.

ifancyashandy Sun 26-May-13 10:53:38

Her life got in the way - the forgetting to sign up / not being able to swap shifts now etc.

No need to take it so personally. And you emailed her in the first instance - hardly surprising if she replies via same method / text.

McKayz Sun 26-May-13 10:55:36

She has to work and has tried to change shifts but can't. I am not sure what the problem is really. It is a shame but what can she do about it?

WorraLiberty Sun 26-May-13 11:00:28

Why didn't you phone and speak to her before you signed up? confused

Mind you, I'm sure you'll be fine as there'll be so many people there...all for the same cause and all friendly towards each other.

pigletmania Sun 26-May-13 11:43:25

Yabvu she s working and can't change her shifts, wat is she supposed to do! Not wrth loosing your job over IMHO. There will be plenty of people there so you won't be alone

LoopyLooplaHoop Sun 26-May-13 11:48:23

Come on now

Ujjayi Sun 26-May-13 11:53:48


She replied using the method of communication instigated by you - why didn't you call her?

She is busy. You will not be the only person taking part as a singleton. I've done it several times alone and always got into the spirit of it with the other very welcoming women.

You are, as you say, being a right mardy bum grinwink

Bowlersarm Sun 26-May-13 11:56:53


You are sounding self indulgent. She is busy. Either do it by yourself, or pull out and send a donation.

I don't think it is a big deal tbh.

TheEndTisHere Sun 26-May-13 12:03:02

could she be pregnant?

emsyj Sun 26-May-13 12:03:52

If you were really bothered about doing it alone, you should have spoken to her first and signed up together. But really, it's a good thing to do stuff alone - keeps you feeling brave and alive! grin Just go and do it by yourself, not awkward at all - I'm sure lots of people do it alone, I would do it and wouldn't think anything of anyone else doing the same. You need to do the things that matter to you in life without needing someone to hold your hand every time.

DoJo Sun 26-May-13 12:19:55

YABU - she has to work, so what do you want her to do? Even if she hasn't tried that hard to change her shift, can you really blame her? Using up a favour from work to do a sponsored walk just because you're getting in a bate about it? It might have been more of a priority for you than it was for her, but that's not exactly the mark of a bad friend.
Is there not another one near to you which you could do on a different day?

squirrel996 Sun 26-May-13 12:26:59

I did it on my own last year, everyone was lovely and friendly and I did the last half with a lady I got chatting to smile

SueDnym Sun 26-May-13 13:21:58

You're being a right mardyarse. It's only 5k!

pictish Sun 26-May-13 13:25:13

Oh come on. She's not obliged to you in this, in any way. Yabu.

DoubleIndemnity Sun 26-May-13 13:30:08

Thank you all for the feedback; understood and taken on board!

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