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To think that DH is selfish and thoughtless?

(164 Posts)
chinley Sat 25-May-13 20:49:59

This will probably seem petty to some but I'm actually so angry I feel like crying.

DH and I had plans to go out this evening. He's been at his mother's house all evening. I came home at 7pm and started getting ready to go out, spent an hour and a half getting ready, showered, shaved, washed my hair, put full makeup on and then received a text from DH saying he was going to stay there and we could go out tomorrow instead.

Now, tomorrow I'm going to be driving his mother on a 5 hour round trip so I will be too tired to be getting ready all over again and then going anywhere.

I just don't understand why he waited for me to go to so much effort and get ready and THEN tell me!

It just seems so careless!

AIBU to be fuming?

I honestly feel like crying.

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:25:51

No mate - you're not crazy. Far from it.

DontmindifIdo Sat 25-May-13 21:26:51

He's on his way home now? could it be that his mum wants to get ready to go away rather than he wants to come home? He's now coming home too late to do what you planned.

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:27:38

I hope he's not coming home for a row.

waitandsee Sat 25-May-13 21:28:28

Chinley, you need to let him know that this is NOT ok, and by no means let him twist this so that it's somehow your fault (have been there with angry partners). Doesn't matter how you do it, but you need to put the fear into him a little bit and think for a sec that good old Chinley won't just put up with this. Good luck xx

simplesusan Sat 25-May-13 21:28:57

Stop wasting your time trying to impress him.
He isn't interested. Sorry. Why waste your life with him? What is the point?
Seriously go out. Do not sit at home stewing.
why don't you get dressed up to meet friends? I do and my dh loves it. Is it because this might anger your dh.

There are serious issues here.
Think hard about how you envisage yourself in 10 years time. At this rate he will still be letting you down and then making you feel silly for causing a fuss.

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:28:59

Me too...

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:29:46

*that was directed at pictish.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sat 25-May-13 21:30:24

I still wouldn't take his mother. What sort of meeting happens on a Sunday anyway? Are you sure there isn't another woman?

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:31:06

Well...we'll be here, should it blow up.

You weren't in the wrong. At all.
He will tell you you are.

But you're not.


chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:31:44

Thank you.

hermioneweasley Sat 25-May-13 21:34:55

He has anger issues so you don't want to provoke him? Can you hear how that sounds?

I Wouldn't be there when he got back. Permanently.

HollaAtMeBaby Sat 25-May-13 21:35:37


IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 25-May-13 21:36:28

You dont want to confront this because he has " anger issues"? Such as what op?

Maryz Sat 25-May-13 21:36:51

He was watching the soccer wasn't he?

It's over now, so time to come home.


Ashoething Sat 25-May-13 21:40:15

He is a mummys boy. You don't have kids-get out now op while you still have the time.

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:43:51

Yes it's started. It's all my fault now.

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:44:31

He's angry now.

Twogoodreasons Sat 25-May-13 21:45:47

Tell him to stuff his meeting tomorrow, you have other plans. Take control - don't stand for this. If he gets angry and scares you, call the police.

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:45:49

Because I "had a go at him", which I didn't, and "made him leave his mum and come home.", which I also didn't.

pinkballetflats Sat 25-May-13 21:46:15

You do know you're living with an emotional abuser and a bully....

Here's a hand for you, OP. And some flowers

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 25-May-13 21:46:29

9 years with this man ? Why??

StuffezLaYoni Sat 25-May-13 21:46:30

Are you ok? This is horrible. You have done NOTHING wrong and we are here for you.

MagicHouse Sat 25-May-13 21:46:44

Can you go to a friend's?

Ray81 Sat 25-May-13 21:46:52

Chinley sad hope you are ok.

Please don't let him treat you this way, you're worth more then this .

MagicHouse Sat 25-May-13 21:48:03

At least you realise he's talking rubbish. I think you need to get out of there for the night and let him calm down.

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