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To think that DH is selfish and thoughtless?

(164 Posts)
chinley Sat 25-May-13 20:49:59

This will probably seem petty to some but I'm actually so angry I feel like crying.

DH and I had plans to go out this evening. He's been at his mother's house all evening. I came home at 7pm and started getting ready to go out, spent an hour and a half getting ready, showered, shaved, washed my hair, put full makeup on and then received a text from DH saying he was going to stay there and we could go out tomorrow instead.

Now, tomorrow I'm going to be driving his mother on a 5 hour round trip so I will be too tired to be getting ready all over again and then going anywhere.

I just don't understand why he waited for me to go to so much effort and get ready and THEN tell me!

It just seems so careless!

AIBU to be fuming?

I honestly feel like crying.

OTheHugeManatee Sat 25-May-13 20:51:26


StuffezLaYoni Sat 25-May-13 20:51:59

I would be angry and upset too, that's really unfair of him.
Why the change of plan?
D you have anyone else you could gout with?

ssd Sat 25-May-13 20:52:24

I dont blame you at all

is he a mummys boy?

and why the hell are you driving his mum 5 hours tomorrow?

somewhatavoidant Sat 25-May-13 20:53:05

YANBU at all, that's very thoughtless.

Succoria Sat 25-May-13 20:54:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 20:54:32

oh this brings back awful memories. my EXp used to do that to me. i would be all ready to go, sometimes having bought a new outfit and he wouldn't turn up to take me out or would text ages later saying, something else had come up with a mate or that he had changed his mind. he even did it on valentimes night.

sorry, i have no advice. i just cried aswell.

Leverette Sat 25-May-13 20:54:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Footface Sat 25-May-13 20:55:10

Yanbu he's been thoughtless.

Sure his mum appreciate you driving her for 5 hours

DontmindifIdo Sat 25-May-13 20:55:20

YANBU - text back that you are ready to go out now. Do you have childcare in place for tonight? Call round your friends, find out who's free, go out, tell him he can drive his mum tomorrow because you'll be tired.

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 20:55:31

is he staying overnight at his mums? has he had a drink?

RawShark Sat 25-May-13 20:55:51

Yes very thoughtless and also he should have called not texted.

Presumably no underlying actual family issues that meant he acted like such a dick?

Where were you going - if just to the pub he may not have realised how important it was to you, or forgotten the drive tomorrow, or just thought you looked that beautiful naturally!

Tell him you're disappointed, and will be knackered tomorrow and see what he says.

DontmindifIdo Sat 25-May-13 20:55:52

BTW - does his mother actually want him there if she's going on a long trip tomorrow???

PatriciaHolm Sat 25-May-13 20:56:01

Did he have any idea you were going to so much trouble? DH might do that to me, but he would be apologetic and aware it only takes me 20 mins to get ready. He may have had no concept that you had been spending all that time; it does seem a long time!

chinley Sat 25-May-13 20:56:25

He says the change of plan is due to the fact that his mother is going away on holiday, which makes no sense because he knew about that from last week, he's been reminding ME of the fact every day! So it doesn't explain letting me get ready then telling me at the last minute.

It's too late to get anyone to come with me, they would need notice and time to get ready and tbh I'm too upset to go anywhere now anyway.

Yes, he's a complete mummy's boy.

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 20:56:42

yes go out with a friend or two.

Footface Sat 25-May-13 20:56:52

Why should his mum suffer, she might be stood there having a right go at him for being inconsiderate

chinley Sat 25-May-13 20:57:12

I'm taking her because he has other plans.

Footface Sat 25-May-13 20:58:13

That's really kind of you

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 25-May-13 20:58:16

I would be livid angry.
Does he have a good reason for staying with his mummy?

maddening Sat 25-May-13 20:58:50

as long as there are no issues with his mother (eg is she v I'll?) then yanbu. Also have you arranged childcare for nothing? Either way call some friends and go out - you're ready now anyway.

maddening Sat 25-May-13 20:59:56

well he can change his plans tomorrow!

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:00:22

I told him I'd spent an hour and half getting ready and asked why he couldn't have told me earlier, he said "stop being like that please."

We were supposed to be going to the cinema, so kind of on a schedule for showings etc.

No children so no childcare needed, but I very rarely go out anywhere.

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:00:54

He wont stay there overnight, just until later on.

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 21:01:05

no op dont sit in and brood on this. put a shout out on FB or call best friend and see if you can call round for a while. dont stay in being pissed off.

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