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radar key-what else was I meant to do???

(72 Posts)
ariane5 Sat 25-May-13 20:48:22

All 4 dcs have disabilities and ds1 has a radar key.

Went out this morning and he needed the toilet so used the key, while we were in there (it is a baby change too) I changed the baby and dd2 and dd1 also used the toilet. We were probably about 10 mins.

Came out to a very annoyed couple who demanded to know why we had been so long. Tried to explain but they were adamant that ALL the dcs shouldn't have used the facilities if only one had a radar key.
Tried to explain that yes its in ds1 name but technically ALL of dcs could have one.

We were as quick as we could have been but they were extremely annoyed.
In the end I told them I wasn't going to justify myself to them anymore and if they had really been that desperate to use the facilities they wouldn't be standing around having a go at me.

WIBU to have let all dcs use the toilet/changing facilities?

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 27-May-13 07:46:44

Erm, you had a key, therefore you had just as much right to use the toilet as they did. I don't know how people cope with the ignorance of others when it comes to disabled children, really I don't. I used to work with children with disabilities and was horrified enough then when other mums woukd move their dc away from the ones I was looking after, or who would ignore and not give way to wheelchairs... And they weren't even my own dc. As if parents if disabled children haven't got enough to deal with. flowers

lljkk Mon 27-May-13 08:26:08

I have a key, I bought it on Ebay! I have no "right" to it. Just find it useful on rare occasion.

But OP does have a right given her situation, just the oldies didn't like to think so. Lot like drivers who think that 90% of other road users shouldn't exist.

mrsjay Mon 27-May-13 08:35:02

* do wonder if some people with mobility issues /disabilities get accustomed to not ever having to wait to use the public loo*

nah they were just grumpy,

pigletmania Mon 27-May-13 08:59:27

Take no notice of then, you have every right to use that facility for however long. How did they not know your ds needed the toilet for longer? Some people's conditions mean they can be in the loitlet for half an hour. Some people are just moaning minnies

pigletmania Mon 27-May-13 09:14:35

Ignore ignore ignore

ThisWayForCrazy Mon 27-May-13 09:19:00

I wouldn't have told them what I was doing in there. It's none f their business. You have a key and you used it for your DCs. There's nothing more to it.

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 27-May-13 09:19:15

Lljkk you should be ashamed of yourself if you have no more need for a disabled toilet than the rest of us. And what utter dicks are selling these on eBay?!

ariane5 Mon 27-May-13 09:42:19

I didn't know you could buy them, we got ours from local council when got dcs blue badges.

I really just hate feeling like we have to justify ourselves when using something that is meant to make life a little easier for dcs.

lljkk Mon 27-May-13 10:01:20

I only knew Radar keys were sold on Ebay because it was widely discussed on MN, the disabled-access loos aren't there exclusively for disabled people. I'm trying to remember when I last tried to use my key, probably at the beach when there was a massive queue of shivering people for the regular loos all trying to change out of soaking suits. Nobody queuing for the disabled loo.

noblegiraffe Mon 27-May-13 10:05:55

If disabled access loos aren't for disabled people, then why did you have to buy your key from eBay rather than simply asking the council for one?

SoupDragon Mon 27-May-13 10:06:09

the disabled-access loos aren't there exclusively for disabled people.

If they are locked with a key, yes they are.

Did you mean to sound so entitled?

Iggi101 Mon 27-May-13 10:09:32

I imagine you can buy blue badges as well.

myfirstkitchen Mon 27-May-13 10:47:34

You're not unreasonable

Who made them king and queen of the bog? Once you're in there, as you have a right to be, you don't have a time limit! I'm sure no one wants to spend more time in a public toilet than they want to. Next time don't even answer. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Please don't stop doing out because of horrible people.

I'm horrified people sell these keys on eBay though!

MidniteScribbler Mon 27-May-13 12:43:44

I find "oh do kindly fuck off" seems to work best in these situations. It's pretty hard to argue with that one.

That said, I do think there should be more than one disabled bathroom in places, and I don't think the change tables should be in there. I get awfully embarrassed having to use the change tables, always wondering if someone who really needs to use the bathroom is waiting. I usually tend to leave the door unlocked (we don't have keys here) so they can come in and chase me out if needed and I've perfected the one minute nappy change. I can't wait until DS is out of nappies and I can stop going in there.

Calabria Mon 27-May-13 12:52:09

If they'd been waiting for my ex to finish they'd have been waiting a lot longer than 10 minutes.

I hope they wouldn't have a go at him when he emerges in a wheelchair.


Sunnywithshowers Mon 27-May-13 13:45:43

My DH has a key as he has MS. When he doesn't have his stick he is not 'visibly' disabled. If anyone challenged him I'd tell them to fuck right off.

I'm horrified ljikk that you think it's okay to buy a key and use the disabled loo for changing your swimsuit. Disabled loos are provided for disabled people to use (the clue is in the name), not for entitled people who don't want to fucking queue.

pigletmania Mon 27-May-13 18:31:45

Ljikk that is not on. What if whist you are in there, a disabled person really needed to use the toilet and as a result had an accident because you could not wait like everybody else. Different if you are disabled bu you are not!

myonlyfriend Mon 27-May-13 18:45:22

doubt very much that would bother ljikk piglet, perhaps if you lived with a disabled person and had hassle every fucking day you may think different ljikk, that is a selfish and dare I say it entitled attitude. Hopefully you will never genuinely need the disabled facilities in the future. We are all only ever one step away from a massive change in our circumstances.

Iggi101 Mon 27-May-13 18:56:52

There is one for sale on eBay right now. Is that even legal? Not moral anyway, unless it's a disabled person who has lost their key!
Love that the seller mentions being a single parent - oh well that's ok then.

pigletmania Mon 27-May-13 19:14:01

It would be different if say you did not have a radar key, the queue for te loo was long, and the disabled loo was empty and you had an attack of the runs or you were goin to wee yourself.

elliejjtiny Mon 27-May-13 19:40:48

YANBU. I have 2 disabled children, another one with health issues on the way and DS1 who at 6 has a better death stare than me grin.

Do you have barnardos in your area? We used them when homestart closed and they were really good.

I know how awful the looks and comments are, the ones we get make me not want to leave the house with the DC's.

digerd Mon 27-May-13 19:52:55

They didn't say anything while they were waiting for 10 minutes, only when they saw you come out with the DCs. And you were right to tell them that they couldn't have been that desperate as took time to have a go at you instead of dashing in frantically.
I am an older lady and my bladder is not like it was, but I would never had said anything, just smiled at you with relief.

But then I'm a really nice sweet little old lady smile
They were nasty old battleaxes.

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