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AIBU to have told my 5 yr old off for this?

(31 Posts)
dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:36:04

DS1 (almost 5) is being a real handful at the moment, rude, not listening and telling lies about lots of silly things.

He spent the day at his Grandparents, they dropped him home. When he came in he started playing up, not listening etc. DS2 was screaming having a typical 2's tantrum, I was cooking risotto for the first time (turned out well considering).

My mum said 'DS1 said he didn't need suncream on as you put it on before you came', 'is that true DS1' i asked? he started laughing 'no, it was a lie'. So i told him off, he still laughed, I pointed out that he wouldn't find it so funny if he had got sunburnt because of his lie would he. Perhaps i was a little stronger than normal but he is pushing my button lately. Anyhow, mum and dad leave, mum seems put out. I called shortly after they left to make sure she knew i was not upset with her about no suncream (not actually been that sunny today) but was cross with DS1 for lying (again).

Got told off! She didn't like my attitude apparently and there was no need to tell DS1 off, etc etc.

So was unreasonable to tell him off for this? My mum makes excuses for him behaviour all the time. (good job i saved the telling off for being rude to my mum until after she went........she gave him £1 and he said 'oh i wanted £5! hmm - she told me this he didn't do it in front of me)

jelliebelly Sat 25-May-13 18:38:04

YANBU - my mum is just the same though smile

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:39:05

jellibelly - how comes mu mum can make me feel like a naughty kids again? I actually got a bit teary about it (PMT!)

NatashaBee Sat 25-May-13 18:39:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInLovesSpring Sat 25-May-13 18:40:04

No YANBU, your mother is acting like a child. Ignore smile

calypso2008 Sat 25-May-13 18:40:52

Good grief, I'm sorry, but if my DD (5) behaved like this she would certainly get told off.

How has it got to this?

YANBU

alienbanana Sat 25-May-13 18:40:57

YANBU. How else is he going to learn not to lie if you don't tell him off.

Your mum is daft for just believing him though.. smile

IsItMeOr Sat 25-May-13 18:41:06

YANBU - mum and DMIL would both have backed me in that situation.

emstats Sat 25-May-13 18:42:20

YANBU, my mums also the same!

BendyBusBuggy Sat 25-May-13 18:42:25

No of course not. He's five, he shouldn't have lied.

My mum tells my finally what a bad parent I am if I dare discipline my boys near her, apparently I am out of order, needlessly telling off the boys, there is no reason for it, they didn't deserve it etc.

YWNBU telling him off, she wbvvu offering her opinion on it!

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:43:03

chipping - it is out of character for her to behave like that, think that's why I was so shocked. If it comes up in conversation I might point out that I doubt she would have appreciated her mum interfering. She said when I told him off, oh it wasn't for long, its no big deal etc.

Pozzled Sat 25-May-13 18:43:05

No, YANBU. My DD is the same age and would have got a serious telling off for that, and for the rudeness.

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:44:57

caylpso2008 - good question. It's been the last month, he's had a personality change. I am working hard on it, which is why I am so upset that my mum had a go at me.

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:45:57

Pleased to see I am not a horrible mother! DH has just sent him to his room for bad behaviour. Argghhhhh!

VashtaNerada Sat 25-May-13 18:49:45

Don't beat yourself up OP, my 5yo can be a right pain. I think they just go through a cocky phase, it's bloody annoying.

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:51:00

VashtaNerada I hope you're right, feel a bit of a failure sad. How long until wine is acceptable?

calypso2008 Sat 25-May-13 18:52:08

dribble I think he thinks he can get away with it because of your DM!

You need to be having a word with her - not the other way round.
I didn't know 5 year olds could even lie. Maybe DS is nearer 6 though?

Of course you are not a bad mother - don't be daft. I am glad your DH has sent him to his room. It needs to be nipped in the bud. Your DM is basically undermining you, that is no good and sends out the wrong messages.

Have a glass of wine! smile

calypso2008 Sat 25-May-13 18:53:18

x posts.

Wine is acceptable right now wine

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:54:30

calypso he has been able to lie since about 3! He's not 5 yet. He is sensible and kind usually, just lately is pushing his luck. You may have a point about my mum though!

dribbleface Sat 25-May-13 18:55:36

Wine will have to wait, about to do battle and wash the 19mth old's hair!!

cantbloodywellchoose Sat 25-May-13 18:57:37

YANBU. I hate it when my almost 5yo behaves like that, little shit!

calypso2008 Sat 25-May-13 18:59:25

He is too clever for his own good! grin

SpanishFly Sat 25-May-13 19:03:44

that was barely even a telling-off, imo!!

DryCounty79 Sat 25-May-13 19:08:37

YADNBU! If children lie, they should be told off. And if my Mum had given my DS £1 and he said he'd wanted a fiver, she'd take the quid back off him!

You absolutely did the right thing, sounds like you're a great mother, teaching your little one(s) right from wrong and making sure there are consequences for actions.

Oops, reading that back, I sound really pompous - sorry, I'm not really like that, honestly :-)

Have fun washing the little one's hair and enjoy your well-deserved wine later x

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