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to make a scene on the train

(363 Posts)
photographerlady Fri 24-May-13 22:06:34

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

IslaMann Fri 24-May-13 22:19:04

YABU You're pregnant, not ill. If you can't sit in any seat apart from first class then start your mat leave. Frankly I'm stunned at your sense of entitlement.

PoppadomPreach Fri 24-May-13 22:19:05

YANBU - have been there myself. Commuting in rush hour when heavily pregnant is very tough.

TheChaoGoesMu Fri 24-May-13 22:19:44

Sorry, mis read your post. Actually if it was rammed, then no you shouldnt have to keep getting up to check for a seat after every stop.

ZZZenagain Fri 24-May-13 22:19:54

worth trying what blondie said

lottiegarbanzo Fri 24-May-13 22:19:58

YWBU to do it next time (and a bit of an embarrassment to all pregnant women).

The conductor informed you there were seats, saving you from having to check half the carriages. That was actually quite helpful. So 'ok, thanks, I only had time to look in half the carriages before the train started moving, so sat here for the time being. I'll make my way slowly'.

Do you need the train to be at a standstill to walk through? Does it pitch about particularly violently? If not, is walking very slowly and holding onto things not ok?

WorraLiberty Fri 24-May-13 22:20:52

The OP has enjoyed first class for the past month

If there were seats on the train, she would have found them had she walked through the other carriages.

And anyway, in all my 44 years I have never seen a heavily pregnant woman refused a seat if she asks for one. No matter how busy the train is, someone will always oblige. They won't always offer but all you have to do is ask.

sjuperyoni Fri 24-May-13 22:29:46

yabu but i can see why you wouldn't want to move.

schobe Fri 24-May-13 22:30:22

This is the side of MN I never can understand. The obsession with avoiding 'rule' breaking at all costs.

Fgs the train was pretty much full and the heavily pregnant lady cba to trek through the whole thing to find the couple of odd seats still spare.

Surely any ticket inspector who was not a complete jobsworth would just leave her be fgs. Why jump to the conclusion that people are being grasping and entitled, rathe than use a bit of common sense?

Some people on this thread even seem to be suggesting that she should make people in standard class stand rather than even use her 1st class pass. Why? Why do we hold those with lots of cash and their precious seating area in such reverence? Serious question.

Queazy Fri 24-May-13 22:30:56

We don't even have 1st class on my trains - I just rely on the kindness of strangers. I haven't had to ask since the bump got bigger

schobe Fri 24-May-13 22:32:28

Perhaps I am just bitter because no fucker used to offer on train or tube in the long hot summer of 2006.

WorraLiberty Fri 24-May-13 22:33:34

Because if every pregnant woman sat in first class when there were seats available elsewhere, there'd be no room for anyone else would there?

I imagine elderly and infirm people would quite like to sit there too or people who suffer from backache etc...

But it's just not possible to accommodate everyone who fancies sitting there to make the journey nicer for themselves.

And we don't know the inspector was being a jobsworth, there may have been plenty of other seats for her to think to mention it.

Sirzy Fri 24-May-13 22:33:42

The OP only checked half the train for a seat before deciding she would just get into first class. If the pass is for when the train is full it should only be used when the train is full

photographerlady Fri 24-May-13 22:35:17

Flogg I always check the first five carriages while getting on the train before it leaves, the first five are always full (heaving). There are five more carriages but the last month as mentioned I am finding in hard to walk through them as the train is moving. Mainly because we'll, it's narrow, there's luggage, there's people in the spaces between carriages standing and well I am quite round now so getting pass them with nothing to hang on to isn't ideal for them or me.

So today was not different. Carriages 1-5 completely full. First class section at the end of 5 had two people in it. Was asked to move. Carriage six and seven was full but walked through them, through the packed in between bit and sat in an inner table seat in 8.

bobthebear Fri 24-May-13 22:35:49

'So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat. '

Ha, I was still driving the day DD was born. In a moving car and everything

schobe Fri 24-May-13 22:37:08

Ok then let the pregnant, elderly, disabled and infirm have the passes too.

Then people who actually need seats have them.

Oh, hang on, but then some rich people might have to stand after paying all that extra for their special seats. Oh my god.

Why not get rid of 1st class but still have an area where people that need seats take priority at busy times?

MrsBertBibby Fri 24-May-13 22:37:27

Wow, you're a bunch of shits on here! Of course the train company are within their rights to be cunts if they want to, but you weren't being even slightly unreasonable. Being heavily pregnant isn't an illness or a disability, it's a temporary condition that occasions extra consideration and care in a civilised society.

Which is clearly something neither the posters on here nor the train company aspire to.

WorraLiberty Fri 24-May-13 22:37:53

So when you were walking through the carriages, why didn't you ask someone if they'd give up their seat as you're obviously pregnant? confused

Why did a free ride in first class seem like a better option?

bigbuttons Fri 24-May-13 22:38:34

be thankful that such a ticket exists in the first place. yabu.

WorraLiberty Fri 24-May-13 22:39:07

Ok then let the pregnant, elderly, disabled and infirm have the passes too.

They can but they have to pay for them, otherwise what is the point in offering first class carriages?

bigbuttons Fri 24-May-13 22:39:20

I don't really count 33 weeks as heavily pregnant.

schobe Fri 24-May-13 22:39:22

Because then nobody had to stand Worra - I honestly and truly don't get your argument. There were plenty of seats for everyone.

BimbaBirba Fri 24-May-13 22:39:44

OP you were completely reasonable.
Clearly the point of the pass is to make your life easier and it's given with the proviso that you must make a REASONABLE attempt at finding another seat, which you did by checking the first half of the train.
People on here are just rule obsessed and mean, don't listen to them!

BOF Fri 24-May-13 22:40:43

I'm with you, OP. You reasonably thought it was full, and they were being petty jobsworths.

edam Fri 24-May-13 22:40:58

I think the guard was a right little nasty jobsworth. FGS, to make a heavily pregnant woman stand up and walk down a moving train... it's pathetic.

Pigsmummy Fri 24-May-13 22:40:59

I didn't even know that this ticket existed and my line is SW trains. This woman was obviously having a shite day/pmt/pregnancy envy/a pure cow. No need for her to behave like this but if there were seats available then she was in her right to ask you to move, BUT you were in your right to say that you wouldn't do so until the train was at a standstill. Next time fart and complain loudly about swollen feet and piles.

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