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So my MIL just told me she's pregnant... AIBU to feel weird about it?

(89 Posts)
KirjavaTheCat Fri 24-May-13 20:39:58

It's none of my business, is it?

Even if she said herself that the only reason she started trying for another baby is because I'm pregnant.

And the fact that when we told her I'm pregnant she sobbed for an hour and refused to talk to us for weeks, because she was upset that we'd decided to have another baby, thereby jeopardizing the relationship our DS has with her 4yo daughter... because now he'd have a sibling and wouldn't be 'interested' in her.

And that she didn't think that she'd be able to have another child due to fertility issues, and because of that we are being very, very selfish.

Still none of my business, I know. I'm feeling judgmental. Put me in my place please.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 24-May-13 20:41:27

Nope, she sounds like a nightmare. I am judging remotely.

MikeLitoris Fri 24-May-13 20:42:08

Nope. I'm with you on the judgemental bench.

Of course its her life and her choice blah blah blah, but its just weird imvho

dexter73 Fri 24-May-13 20:42:23

Crikey that does sound a bit odd. How old is she anyway?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Fri 24-May-13 20:42:52

YANBU to be pissed off at her selfish attitude. She sounds a total knob.

YABabitU about her pregnancy being "weird" as its up to her (and her partner) whether they add to their family or not.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 24-May-13 20:44:27

It might feel a bit weird but anything goes these days; women don't always go for the generational 'norm' and have children when they want to/can.

She's your husband's mother, be as supportive as you expect her to be to you.

SantanaLopez Fri 24-May-13 20:44:49

I was coming here to tell you it's actually lovely to have a SIL who is also a baby but your MIL sounds awful.

EllenJanesthickerknickers Fri 24-May-13 20:45:11

OMG. I can remember your last thread about this! It was unreasonable then. How old is she? <nosy>

KirjavaTheCat Fri 24-May-13 20:45:12

Not feeling weird about her being pregnant, she's only 45. But weird about how it all came about and the sense of 'hah!' she had as she was telling me.

Not sure how to react. Or if I indeed should have a reaction at all. Probably not?

Tweasels Fri 24-May-13 20:45:31

Whaaat? That all sounds mega fucked up.

Of all the bizarre MIL antics I've read on here this is definitely up there as one of the best.

SisterMatic Fri 24-May-13 20:45:45

Her behaviour is weird, her being pregnant is not. YabalittlebitU but not much. Her falling out with you over your pregnancy was unreasonable.

Cailinsalach Fri 24-May-13 20:45:47

Oooooh. She sounds like she should be in a soap opera.

Sit back Kirjava. Sit back and enjoy the show.

(I cant believe you just went and got pregnant without getting her permission. Sheeesh. What kind of selfish dil are you?)

SisterMatic Fri 24-May-13 20:46:38

X Post with you there OP

raisah Fri 24-May-13 20:47:10

Thats wierd. There must be a massive age gap between your dp and his sister. I know someone with a 23 yr gap between himself and his youngest sister. He has a son who is 2 yrs younger than his aunt. Just weird. I am sorry.

SantanaLopez Fri 24-May-13 20:48:16

I am going to sound like a right heartless cow- but is she actually pregnant? Do you think she could be lying?

CoteDAzur Fri 24-May-13 20:48:41

How old are you all?

If she had your DS when she was and your DH is 20 now, she is pregnant at 40. And your DH at 20 already has a child and another on the way?

CoteDAzur Fri 24-May-13 20:49:17

Ah x-post.

Tweasels Fri 24-May-13 20:50:17

She sounds utterly bonkers.

SquinkiesRule Fri 24-May-13 20:51:42

Age gaps and children spread over twenty or more years doesn't bother me in the least.
But her reasoning is pretty messed up. If she were having another because she wanted more, then thats one thing but because you are, and thinks that her Dd will not have the same relationship with your Ds is wrong. We have form for Aunts and Nieces being of similar age in my family. It never seemed to bother anyone, people assumed my Grandmother was my mother and my aunts were my sisters occasionally.

ElizaDoLots Fri 24-May-13 20:53:11


She has done well to get pregnant at 45 - fertility or not fertility issues, 45 is pushing it.

I think I'd be a bit judgy and 'ewww' too!

DeathMetalMum Fri 24-May-13 20:53:23

There is a two year gap (I'm older) between my nephew and it's not weird at all we just grew up like cousins, well we were best friends always went on holidays together etc.

Op your Mil sounds um.. interesting. Ignorance might be bliss.

dearcathyandclare Fri 24-May-13 20:54:24

Congrats on your news and to your MIL, but YABU
Imagine she was a work mate and had been trying to get pregnant for the past few years, you may well feel less weird even if she is a lot older than you, but also give her credit for feeling safe enough around you to tell you how she has been feeling. Your children will also love the kudos of being aunt/uncle niece/ nephew but the same age.
Enjoy and don't resent, it only damages you in the long run

mrsjay Fri 24-May-13 20:54:38

OMG. I can remember your last thread about this! It was unreasonable then. How old is she?

I can remember it too isn't she a drinker as well ? and the little sister sounds neglected is this the same woman ?

dearcathyandclare Fri 24-May-13 20:56:02

Must have missed something but why exactly is this MIL awful?

nightingalefloor Fri 24-May-13 21:00:22

There was an incident while ex-MIL was pregnant and I was TTC which cost now ex-P and I our relationship. YADNBU, steer well clear as far as possible.

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