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To be worried about this? Can anything actually come of it?

(13 Posts)
slinkydog Fri 24-May-13 11:49:09

I have never really had a relationship with my dad, he and my mum divorced when I was about 7 and previous to that they were separated for a few years. We've very occasionally had a dinner (maybe 2 in about 4 years, and every few months he would ring me and we'd end up having a row and not speaking for another few months.)

After my dd was born nearly three years ago he spoke to my brothers, one of my friends and my mum about how I wouldn't cope with the baby and I'd need extra help. When I found out about this I was really angry, I don't know where it came from and (in my opinion) am a great mother and have a wonderful bond with my dd.

I was so angry that he did this (for attention and something to talk about my family thinks) that I cut off all communication with him, even blocking him on Facebook.

My mum told me yesterday that he's looked into grandparent rights and is going to take an action against me for access to my DD??!!

He has 6 children he hardly ever speaks to, 3 of which he hasn't seen for over 15 years, several grandchildren he has seemingly no interest in and yet he's doing this about my DD??

She doesn't need him. I don't want him. She has my mum, my stepfather who she calls grandad and adores, my in laws, my grandparents. Plus the thought of this is really stressing me out and I'm 36 weeks pregnant and it really isn't a good time.

Is this a real thing?? Could someone actually make me let my daughter spend time with someone I don't even like?? (and like even less now!!!)

NotYoMomma Fri 24-May-13 11:57:58

Nothing will come of it at all

squeakytoy Fri 24-May-13 12:00:02

There is not a thing he can do. Grandparents have NO rights. Unless he has already played a positive major role in the childs life until now, then it will be laughed out of court.

DontWannaBeObamasElf Fri 24-May-13 12:00:29

As far as I'm aware, there's no such thing as "grandparent rights". I could be wrong.

As soon as they find out what a shitty parent he is they won't look at him twice.

I don't speak to my Mother and I was threatened with this crap too.

From what my brother tells me she went to a solicitor and was told it would cost thousands of pounds, and that its was pretty unlikely to get anywhere because unless she could prove the kids would be distressed by not seeing her the courts were very unlikely to force me to hand my children over to her.

I really don't think you have anything to worry about.

AMumInScotland Fri 24-May-13 12:01:29

Don't let him worry you. Of course there is absolutely nothing in this. He has zero rights over your child. If he tried anything in a court they would laugh at him.

Grandparents only have rights when they have been very involved in a childs life and a court might decide it is in the child's interests to continue with contact for stability, they don't get anything automatically just because they are biologically a grandparent.

ExitPursuedByABear Fri 24-May-13 12:05:33

Poor you. Just ignore him.

WestieMamma Fri 24-May-13 12:06:37

He doesn't have a cat in hell's chance. 'Grandparents rights' are for those who are massively involved in their grandchildren's lives who suddenly get cut out, to the detriment of the child.

NoelHeadbands Fri 24-May-13 12:07:17

Not a damn thing, ignore.

slinkydog Fri 24-May-13 12:08:08

Phew... Okay, thanks so much x

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 24-May-13 12:11:39

By massively involved its stuff like the child lived with them for most of there life,

They did regular frequent and long term childcare

They already had what would look like a contact arrangement to an outsider and it has been that way for a long time.

Stuff like that.

TigerSwallowTail Fri 24-May-13 12:12:25

Nope nothing to worry about, my mother tried this too, the 'grandparents rights' case didn't even go to court so she tried to gain access through my abusive ex in court and the judge still said no.

If he hasn't got a meaningful relationship with your child (and it sounds like he has no relationship with him) then he's not got a leg to stand on.

quoteunquote Fri 24-May-13 13:35:04

He is inept, he wants your attention, he is clumsy, he is selfish, he is silly, he is emotionally immature, he behaving like a twonk and trying to find ways to hang onto something he can't quite reach.

Take no notice, ask your mother not to relay ridiculous information, explain you cannot engage in unnecessary stress,

and explain if in the future you decide you want to start a new relationship with him, it will be on your terms, but that will never come under consideration, while he continues to behave like a total Twonk.

Send him a text/email.
Back off, if i feel like it one day I will dictate terms for contact, until then, I suggest you do not jeopardise that happing.

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