I was supposed to go to a mother and baby group today at the children's centre but I'm too scared to go out with the baby. 
There is a market tomorrow selling baby and children items but again I am scared to go.
I hate that I feel like this and know that's exactly what the far-right extremists and radical muslims want. To create a divided, suspicious society where people are fearful of each other. However I cant stop these images from running through my mind of my ds getting scared or injured if someone attacks me. I popped out yesterday to the local shop without him and I was on hyper-alert, crossing the road whenever I saw groups of people approaching; taking the long, quieter way back home to avoid people; not meeting anyone's eyes. I felt like everyone was watching me, disapprovingly.
I know a lot of it is in my head but I cant help it as I have experienced this sort of abuse before. When the war in Afghanistan happened I had someone shout Afghan at me (as if that's an insult 
) and when the Iraq war happened it was Iraqi that was shouted at me. This is despite the fact I am neither from the Middle East or from the Indian sub-continent and definitely couldn't be mistaken for either. On the way back from work last year two men chanted EDL as I walked past them. In a separate incident a man announced loudly as I got on a packed bus going home from work carrying my grocery shopping that he had to walk past the 'Islamic bomber' to get off. No one said anything and I felt too intimidated.
It's incidents like this that make me really despair about my ds's future in this country. How can I put him in this situation where he is a despised minority and is fearful every time some idiotic, psychopath does something stupid? Yet this is the only country I know. I have grown up here and have no experience of living elsewhere and I don't speak any other language.
Just feeling very depressed about the whole situation as well as incredible sadness and sorrow for the family of the poor soldier and the people who had to witness that inhumanity.
AIBU?
To be terrified to leave the house with my baby
peacefuloptimist · 24/05/2013 10:52
I'm so sorry you feel like this. I don't know what to say really apart from there are a few twats out there, but the vast majority of people aren't.
It's easy for me to say, because I have never been subject to that type of abuse, but don't lock yourself away - if you do, the idiots have won - but equally, I understand how hard it must be to wonder if you are going to be subject to that sort of verbal abuse every time you walk out of your front door.
Sending you a very un-mumsnetty hug.
Thank you Claire. Your post brought tears to my eyes. 
Its hard to remember that the majority of people are decent and fair when you read such vitriol on the net.
Are you going to go out, OP? What about a quick walk to the shop and back just to get some fresh air and to hopefully get you used to being outside again. Imagine us all walking alongside you 
Let us know if you manage it and how it goes
Although you understandably feel unsettled and sad, don't let the so called EDL win.
More support coming all the way from Italy.
There's nothing physical that MN can do for you this afternoon, but know that there are gerzillions of us holding your hand if you do go out. xx
Please, please know that most people are not like this. People that shout abuse in the street, or write vile things on facebook are not the majority.
The worst of the tension will blow over in a few days but do try to get out as much as you can, just small trips for essentials.
Hugs
For you OP.
Your post is so sad. We are not all like that. I'd stand up for you if people shouted at you or were shouting stupid things. Hold your head high and remember that the the bigots are all twats.
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