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to be pissed off they aren't happy for us

(48 Posts)
littlebitglum Thu 23-May-13 16:59:31

me and dp have got engaged grin. nothing with frills, just asked at home and both really happy . we are not big event people and don't really do grand gestures. updated fb profile (I knowgrin ) lots of people saying oh are you serious ect now grandparents the same oh you haven't done it properly. we have had a horrible year with close family bereavment and hospital treatment he has been a rock and this is the next step for us but everyone seems so bloody miserable about it because there's no grand gesture or new ring ( family passed down)

RawCoconutMacaroon Thu 23-May-13 17:05:26

Congratulation! As long as you are both happy, don't let the response of others spoil it!

<but no, you are not bu to be a bit peeved!>

Manchesterhistorygirl Thu 23-May-13 17:06:28

Congratulations! Passed down ring is gorgeous, remember its not old it's "vintage".

littlebitglum Thu 23-May-13 17:17:44

grin we are. we are the pretty simple no frills type it suits us to just do without some big announcement. definatly will be vintage one day was my mums then will pass down as and when. just abit gutted that people think we are arsing about just because we haven't made a big thing out of it

AgathaF Thu 23-May-13 17:38:50

Congratulations. Your engagement, your way. They have all done theirs the way they wanted, your turn now.

Lovely to have a ring with sentimental value. You can't put a price on that.

QOD Thu 23-May-13 17:53:16

Raspppppt to them


MonstrousPippin Thu 23-May-13 17:55:05

YANBU. My DP proposed over a cup of tea in bed on a Sunday morning and didn't have a ring. I thought it was perfect.

MonstrousPippin Thu 23-May-13 17:55:40

And congratulations!

Boosiehs Thu 23-May-13 17:56:55


Tailtwister Thu 23-May-13 18:00:22

Well, I think wearing a family ring is a lovely. Congratulations!

diddl Thu 23-May-13 18:02:47


We decided-went to choose a ring, had to wait for it to be resized, told everyone when we had the ring!

No party for us!

ILs were shock at the ring-she didn't have one.

So while my parents were really pleased, his were-why? what have you done that for?grin

How does one get engaged "properly"??

JedwardScissorhands Thu 23-May-13 18:03:21

I think it's lovely. Congratulations! Most of the grand gesture proposals I know of either didn't make it to an actual wedding, or are divorced.

We just did the small thing too. New ring, though.

Whocansay Thu 23-May-13 18:04:36


My wedding ring was my much-loved grandmother's. I think it's much more special for it. You do what feels right for you.

What the hell do your grandparents mean by doing it 'properly'? Weird.

Wylye Thu 23-May-13 18:08:33

Yay for you both! thanks
You may as well start stopping caring what they say know tho (iyswim) as if they're like this over the engagement imagine what they'll say about your wedding! grin

Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:10:11

Congratulations!! It's about you and your husband to be, ignore the others and their opinions. So long as you are both happy nothing else really matters! wine

rumbelina Thu 23-May-13 18:12:25

Congratulations! We decided in a tent in the rain and it was perfect. Dh was berated by colleagues for not doing a grand proposal. I'd have hated that.

It's one of those things where you can be judged for not doing it 'properly' but each to their own what matters is the who not the how.

AgathaF Thu 23-May-13 18:12:57

As Wylye said, be prepared to dig your heels in over their plans for your wedding.

buswanker Thu 23-May-13 18:15:51

My engagement ring was my grandmothers. I would not swap it for the most expensive ring in the world.

Getting engaged at home is lovely.

You said you are simple no frills so why would anyone want you to have a big fuss?! People are bizarre.

MrsMangoBiscuit Thu 23-May-13 18:20:29

Congratulations! I love the family heirloom for an engagement ring.

DH proposed by asking me first thing in the morning when I was just coming to. He said he figured he had a better success rate if I was still half asleep. grin

littlebitglum Thu 23-May-13 18:20:37

aw you guys are lovely. I think you are spot on with the wedding grin. maybe we will run off somewhere and tell Noone haha

CAF275 Thu 23-May-13 18:26:29

Agree with most other posters. If you both like the ring then sod everyone else - YOU'RE the one going to be wearing it FFS.

Personally I hate big engagement do's. Especially the ones where gifts are requested expected. I've lost count of the ones where the "happy couple" didn't make it to the aisle or, when asked when the big day is say something like "oh not for a few years yet, nothing arranged etc..." confused

Many many congratulations - just do, or don't do, whatever you and DP want and are happy with.

Bunnylion Thu 23-May-13 18:29:01

My DH proposed on the sofa while we were having a cuppa one evening after work - with his mums engagement ring. Years on we are even more in love and very happy.

I'm always dubious of couples who need some public, top of the Eiffel Tower, 45 minute firework display, extravaganza. If the only motivation for getting married is because you are deeply in love and want to spend the rest of your life together, why would you need a big public production?

Bunnylion Thu 23-May-13 18:29:56

PS - congratulations! smile

Nelly000 Thu 23-May-13 18:30:38

Are your family annoyed because it's 'no frills' or are they annoyed because they found out at the same time as friends/acquaintances on Facebook rather than before?

If it's the former, YANBU. What's a 'with frills' engagement supposed to look like? confused

If it's the latter, I understand where they're coming from.

Nelly000 Thu 23-May-13 18:30:50

Oh, and congrats!

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