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To think this is childish and immature. WWYD??

(14 Posts)
dilanddan Thu 23-May-13 12:55:35

My o.h's parents are JW's and therefore, do not celebrate birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc.

They do not wish anyone happy greetings on these occasions, understandably, but they always seem to expect to have happy greetings wished to them. If o.h doesn't say happy birthday to one of his parents on their birthday, the other will message or call him to ask him why he hasn't bothered. Then when we do wish them happy christmas or birthday etc, they make a huge song and dance about how we're not supposed to say it to them and how they "don't celebrate it" and have even gone as far as to ignore us for a few days.

I know this is really childish, but I'm at a total loss. Should we just send cards and wish them a happy day because WE celebrate it, or not say anything as THEY don't celebrate it. AARRGGHH!!!!

Snoopytwist Thu 23-May-13 12:57:38

Ask them outright - "do you want us to acknowledge your birthdays or not?" If they say no, you have a perfect right to ignore all birthday s from now on, and they can't phone and give you a hard time about it.

Pagwatch Thu 23-May-13 12:58:10

Write them an email. Ask them to explain exactly how they want you to deal with celebration days. Then print off the answer and always have a copy handy to give to them if they ever get arsy again.
Better still get a copy laminated

quoteunquote Thu 23-May-13 13:06:06

Do what pagwatch said.

They are hypocrites - if they are true JW then they would not want their birthdays or christmases acknowledged.

dilanddan Thu 23-May-13 13:12:26

That's what I thought Betty. We've asked them so many times in the past and they have said they don't want it acknowledged, but they just seem to love the drama every bloomin' year!!!

Shall have to try the email thing, thank you for the suggestion smile x

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 23-May-13 13:17:20

Sounds to me like they simply want to be horrible to you both and this is how they are choosing to do it. You clearly can't do right whatever you do. Because it's not about their birthday, or their religion, it's about them wanting to make a fuss.

I would just not play. Don't wish them happy birthday and when they call or text, just reply "Are you not still Jehovahs Witnesses then?"

squoosh Thu 23-May-13 13:17:24

Being a JW sounds like an absolute hoot.

TigerSwallowTail Thu 23-May-13 13:17:26

I agree with other posters that suggest asking them what they would like, explain that you are confused as they don't acknowledge your birthdays but get offended if their birthdays aren't met with nice wishes. If they insist that they don't celebrate birthdays etc and won't be wishing either of you a nice birthday then stick with what they say and remind them of this in future if they complain again about the lack of acknowledgement on their birthdays.

OwlinaTree Thu 23-May-13 16:41:08

How hypocritical! They should treat you how they wish to be treated. So if they don't wish you happy birthday, don't wish it them. If they complain, say 'well i didn't think you did birthdays, you never do ours' and leave it at that.

Titsalinabumsquash Thu 23-May-13 16:44:18

After meeting my estranged sibling for the first time a couple of weeks ago, I rather embarrassingly wished his wife a happy birthday forgetting they are JW, luckily she was very kind and politely said thanks but we don't celebrate. smile
So in your case op, they're being wankbadgers.

thebody Thu 23-May-13 16:45:08

Exactly squoosh, glad I am a good old heathen that celebrates the opening of an envelope with a glass of wine.

TheCraicDealer Thu 23-May-13 16:45:31

All that walking as well, Squoosh, saving people on their doorsteps. Forced exercise, no presents and no birthday cake? Count me out.

Raum Thu 23-May-13 18:41:08

One of my bosses at a previous job is a JW and he always wished people merry Christmas or happy holidays etc. The way here saw it he was joining in with the spirit of a holiday, not the belief that surrounded it, same for birthdays. One of the nicest people I have ever met. Oh and I am an atheist !

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