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to let dd have a day off school because i miss her?

(466 Posts)
LittleLisa78 Wed 22-May-13 22:45:46

DD is in reception. DP works shifts and doesn't have a weekend off til July but does have many weekdays off. Youngest DD is 1 and very full on so elder DD has not had any real one on one time with me since she was born and has been asking repeatedly for it but it's difficult with dps shifts and extra curricular activities after school. She and I both just want a full day with each other having fun and doing things it's difficult to do when I have younger DD to look after too. AIBU to consider letting her have a day off school to do this?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 26-May-13 13:43:43

wondering - you can support without agreeing with her

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 26-May-13 13:35:39

There are several other threads

I think maybe her posting on here doesn't help her because it gives her a reason/excuse to get annoyed with us

christinarossetti Sat 25-May-13 13:35:33

Emotionally abusive, I think?

BlackholesAndRevelations Sat 25-May-13 12:25:05

What's an EA relationship?

Bobyan Sat 25-May-13 12:03:39

I'm not having a go at her, I think she is in a horrible situation but trying to validate decisions by posting half the story on AIBU will only make it worse.

wonderingagain Sat 25-May-13 11:57:55

Isn't being in an EA relationship more of a reason to support this woman?

She clearly needs to reconnect with her daughter. Give her a break.

SgtTJCalhoun Sat 25-May-13 11:50:02

I am not "cross".

I am judging you for having a go at someone who is "basically in an EA relationship" though.

Bobyan Sat 25-May-13 11:41:14

Just read her other thread.
You can all be cross as you want at me, but if you look at the whole situation the facts she presents on her other postings completely change her reasons for keeping her dd off school.
She's basically in an EA relationship and encouraging her to take her dd out of school does nothing more than facilitate it. Her dd needs the inadequate partner addressing rather than having time away from her education.

SgtTJCalhoun Sat 25-May-13 11:22:25

Out of interest where DID you get all your info from Bobyan? Because it appears to me at best to be assumption and at worst total fiction formed from minimal input from the OP. A few MNetters on this thread have surmised that this COULD be the situation, with no actual confirmation from the OP.

They've berated the OP and fired aggressive loaded questions at her about a situation that if true, she would need some support with. If posters suspect this difficult situation to be the case why wouldn't you ask the questions gently so that support could be offered?

You're late to the table Bobyan the OP is long gone, too many "tellings off" I imagine. I only hope you gained some personal satisfaction from your post because it may well have been totally useless......oh wait...

morethanpotatoprints Sat 25-May-13 11:11:55

Not sure if the OP is coming back, and I wouldn't blame her.

I hope you had your day off and it went well. I hope you are able to find some regular time with your dd, and that your dp will finally step up to the mark, if the above post from Bobyan is true.

SgtTJCalhoun Sat 25-May-13 11:10:49

"One day could turn into lots of days"

Again, is it right to be judging the OP on things that haven't actually happened? And have in fact been built up in the minds over intense and overly invested MNetters and then used as a reason to continue to attack an OP whose personal situation is clearly quite challenging?

<<tags theyoni>>

Theyoniwayisnorthwards Sat 25-May-13 11:03:27

Sorry Bobyan not Boyan

Theyoniwayisnorthwards Sat 25-May-13 11:03:03

There! Right there! Boyan's post is EXACTLY the kind of thing I was referring to.

Bobyan Sat 25-May-13 08:09:29

Your dd wouldn't need time off school if your dp wasn't inadequate. Less then two weeks ago you were posting about how crap he is and his total lack of interest in you and your family. He doesn't live with you, contribute financially and isn't divorcing his ex.

Your right one day off won't ruin her education, but the very fact you feel she needs this additional time is very telling about you relationship with your children and partner.

carabossse Sat 25-May-13 00:46:40

Someone asked earlier- who'll be looking after the 1yo when you have your day that's for just you and your 5yo? Can they only look after the 1yo infrequently?

christinarossetti Sat 25-May-13 00:26:41

I don't think the education system will collapse, but there were probably better uses for your time than starting a AIBU about something you have already made your mind up about, it seems to me.

LittleLisa78 Fri 24-May-13 23:58:31

Yes she's 6 in September. It will get easier to spend one on one time with her as younger DD gets older and also less necessary as younger DD can join in more so it isn't a 'dangerous precedent.' We didn't have our day today but will be doing in a few weeks so I'll have to apologise now for the downfall of the entire education system as a result...

Thymeout Fri 24-May-13 23:28:24

And she's got the whole of next week to arrange with her DP to have a 1-1 day with DD because it's half term.

And OP still hasn't said if she's going to lie to the school about the time off.

MeiMeiMeiMei Fri 24-May-13 23:28:21


I hope you took your little girl out for the day and had a magical time smile

MrsFawley Fri 24-May-13 23:25:35

Take the day, just be above board and request it through the headteacher

MrsFawley Fri 24-May-13 23:24:18

And School should therefore also take precedence over people's desire to take holidays when they choose

rockerrock Fri 24-May-13 23:23:53

choose not chose.

Sleep deprived...

rockerrock Fri 24-May-13 23:23:17

Do it.

Just don't come on here complaining when she's not progressing well at school.

Because one day will turn into two, which will turn into three and then it's a habit. And whilst she's not doing quadratic equations now, every day at school builds up to the 'big' stuff and the big exams.

We should be grateful for a free education system and not stick two fingers up at it whenever we so chose.

And those of you who see no problem with pulling a sickie at work for a 'fun' day off don't deserve to have jobs. It's fraud, plain and simple. Bet you'd be the first people on here complaining if your children's teacher or your GP were off sick...

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 24-May-13 23:16:22


I don't think we will convince each other. Fair do's.

Floggingmolly Fri 24-May-13 23:13:37

Because school should take precedence over wanting to play with no distractions.

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