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to let dd have a day off school because i miss her?

(466 Posts)
LittleLisa78 Wed 22-May-13 22:45:46

DD is in reception. DP works shifts and doesn't have a weekend off til July but does have many weekdays off. Youngest DD is 1 and very full on so elder DD has not had any real one on one time with me since she was born and has been asking repeatedly for it but it's difficult with dps shifts and extra curricular activities after school. She and I both just want a full day with each other having fun and doing things it's difficult to do when I have younger DD to look after too. AIBU to consider letting her have a day off school to do this?

LittleLisa78 Wed 22-May-13 22:56:24

She knows school isn't optional - she has no problem going to school. Even if she missed an activity it only gives us 3 hours or so, I'd like a day

burberryqueen Wed 22-May-13 22:57:01

don't do it your number will be marked and your daughter might start to expect it; dodgy precedent as another poster so rightly said.

ChippingInLovesSpring Wed 22-May-13 22:57:05

Oh sorry, you did say, you are going away!

Watching The Apprentice destroys my brain cells grin

Do it, spend a day with her on her own, it's something she'll remember forever. One day in reception... hardly likely to change her career prospects grin

LittleLisa78 Wed 22-May-13 23:00:05

Precisely my thoughts, chippingin.
We already have tickets booked and paid for for days out next week plus the things DD wants to do with me are at home

TheSmallClanger Wed 22-May-13 23:00:13

3 hours is plenty of time for a 4yo.

Why is she doing so many activities anyway, if you want one-on-one time?

I have 4 children so one on one time is hard to come by, but about every month I pick a night and when everyone else is asleep I wake one of them up and we have a midnight picnic, or snuggle up with a hot chocolate and watch a film or toast marshmallows over a fire in the garden or watch crappy WWE pay per views it makes it really special for them to get up in the night and do something fun, and I do it on a friday or saturday so they can have a lie in, although it makes me a bit tired the next day I wouldn't stop doing it for the world now. I would opt for that rather than time off school tbh.

Fakebook Wed 22-May-13 23:02:36

If you want to then just do it. She's in reception, not sitting her A-levels.

VinegarDrinker Wed 22-May-13 23:02:38

Actually I think a regular thing where once a week or fortnight your DP has the younger one and you collect her from school and do something special, activity, dinner out or whatever, would be more beneficial to her in the long run than a single day which she will then have to lie about to her teacher and friends.

You keep saying you want a full day, but without any real reason.

expatinscotland Wed 22-May-13 23:04:25

Do it!

LittleLisa78 Wed 22-May-13 23:04:54

She's nearly 6, not 4. She does activities because she enjoys them. I don't get why people think it's strange to want to spend one whole day with your child!
Lovely idea Missy but younger DD co-sleeps and is attached to me all night so can't do that one just yet

ohforfoxsake Wed 22-May-13 23:05:16

Twas - 'under the weather' suffices and is normally not far from the truth - its usually when there is a need to feel comforted and they will feel the benefit. Like I say, it's very infrequent. They have never read it as school being optional and it's not impacted negatively at all.

kawliga Wed 22-May-13 23:06:47

YANBU to miss her and wish you could have a day off school to bond with her. I sometimes miss my DD when she's at school. Not always but some days definitely.

YABU if you actually go ahead and keep her off school. Fantasy should not meet reality in this situation. You don't get the luxury of full days off having fun once school starts, unfortunately. Unless you are home-schooling then attendance is compulsory, them's the breaks.

BackforGood Wed 22-May-13 23:07:21

Yes. YABU.
It's not necessarily strange to want to spend a day with your child, but you have 2 days every weekend to do it, and 13weeks holiday a year to do it, plus another 5 INSET days.

ilovesooty Wed 22-May-13 23:07:37

That midnight picnic sounds lovely.

I can't believe you're seriously considering setting a precedent like this. As some others have said, school isn't optional and it seems you have some capacity to amend activities elsewhere. You just don't want to.

Hangingbellyofbabylon Wed 22-May-13 23:08:10

Do it - what a bunch of old miseries; as if any school day when you're 4 is more important than spending time with mum.

Hangingbellyofbabylon Wed 22-May-13 23:09:00

At 4 school is optional.

LittleLisa78 Wed 22-May-13 23:09:13

I agree the regular thing would be nice but dps days off change every week so would be unfair to not let DD do any activities so we can have time just one of the nights. I want a full day because DD always has to rush because of younger DD and want her to be able to just relax and enjoy herself

AnyFucker Wed 22-May-13 23:09:34

What are weekends for then ?

5madthings Wed 22-May-13 23:10:24

Men she is in reception, its no big deal. My ds4 is in reception amd has had the odd duvet day when I think he is too tired for school and will be having a day off to go to the zoo...

Theyoniwayisnorthwards Wed 22-May-13 23:10:42

Do it! She will benefit more from a lovely special day with you and you're not going to ruin her education. I think people are being quite dogmatic about missing school, yes it's a problem if it's a regular occurrence but this is a rare treat, she is in reception and she won't exactly fall behind!

When I was a child and teenager my father would take each of us out alone about once a year, usually unexpectedly for a full day of fun. That's the kind of thing that makes memories.

ilovesooty Wed 22-May-13 23:10:55

Hanging she's nearly 6, not 4.

How would you feel if your daughter's teacher took a random day off to spend one on one time with her own child?

TheSmallClanger Wed 22-May-13 23:11:15

You only have to plan a week in advance, especially if the things she want s to do are home-based.

SgtTJCalhoun Wed 22-May-13 23:12:22

I think the odd day off in Reception is essential, they get so tired.

I would and have. My dd is reading level 7 in Year 1 and surpassed all her targets. My "relaxed" attitudes have done her no harm.

I took her out for a holiday in term time too shock

WorraLiberty Wed 22-May-13 23:12:40

She may be in Reception but you've chosen to send her to school...therefore you need to set a precedent now.

I think this is more about you than your child to be honest.

You want a day with her.

So spend a day with her next week on holiday.

burberryqueen Wed 22-May-13 23:12:41

I used to let my children have 'duvet days' or let them have a day off from time to time, only to find it had all been noted and was used against me in a report to social services. you have been warned.

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