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To ask for a sick line off work?

(8 Posts)
Albaba Wed 22-May-13 12:49:11

My husband has been off work sick now for around 8 months. At first he was diagnosed with severe asthma but now it looks like it has developed in to a lung condition. He is late thirties and has never smoked in his life. Doctors still haven't given him a proper diagnosis and despite being off work seems to be getting worse not better. He seems to need antibiotics and steriods on a permanent basis. We have a relatively normal life when he is on them but whenever his course finishes he dips very quickly and has been hospitalised several times. On top of this we have 20 month old twins. One is great and we have no problems with. The other has been diagnosed with development delays and low muscle tone and is nowhere near walking at 20 months despite having months of physio. She had a mri scan to rule out other issues and my husband took a call frim her consultant yesterday and she said scan showed that she had a lesion on her brain. Is going to schedule a meeting with us face to face. Now I am terrified that she has cerebal palsy. She had lots of the risk factors including being a twin, premature and they had iugr. Ironically though its the bigger twin who has all the problems and the smaller one escaped unscathed. Really worried about what the future holds. I don't want her to be the next Jessica Ennis or anything. I just want her to be able to walk and have a normal life. I feel like I am trying to be strong for everyone. I am working 4 days a week doing majority of housework. Husband does what he can. After yesterdays news am very teary and can't concentrate on anything. Have avoided people today in work. Tears are not far from the surface and I'm afraid of bursting in to tears and making a fool of myself. Think I'm about to burn out and just need a break.

HazeltheMcWitch Wed 22-May-13 12:52:38

Gosh, firstly, have a hug, and some brew...

HazeltheMcWitch Wed 22-May-13 12:55:10

Secondly - work.

Have you a good relationship with them, could you be honest and say that things are overwhelming, and that you really need time off?

If not, could you just (and I hate saying this as I am really really honest), pull a sickie? Develop bad D&V overnight, so you can't go to work for a few days. If after those few days (which you'll have to spend at home, resting), you're not feeling any stronger, maybe it's a good idea to to and speak to a dr about how you're feeling.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 22-May-13 12:57:41

You are entitled to parental leave (though it is unpaid) and this would seem a very good thing to approach your work for. It is for a defined amount of time so gives them security if how long you are going to be off.

NorthernLurker Wed 22-May-13 12:57:42

Absolutely, go to your GP and get signed off due the HUGE stress you're under. Then concentrate on your family. Anbody would buckle under just one of the stress factors you have - and you've got both your baby and your dh to worry about.
Have you any friends you can turn to - or family? Be up front and say 'can you take my washing/help with shopping etc'. i'm sure people would want to help.

GladbagsGold Wed 22-May-13 12:58:35

You poor thing.

Not at all unreasonable to (a) be stressed with all that going on and (b) get signed off with stress.

I really hope your family's health improves. Do you have support IRL?

PrincessScrumpy Wed 22-May-13 13:04:22

I have 2mo twins and that in itself is hard work do with everything else you could easily get signed off for a week or two.
I know 7yo twins and one has cerebral palsy but I only know because her mum told me as it's mild, so wait until you have ask the facts. You might find it won't affect her hugely - my friend's main issue was teachers comparing the twins when one was far more advanced than the other. She became a governor and is very firm re the teachers. They were in separate classes but both hated it. Anyway, rambling now. Take each day as it comes and try to find something to smile about. big hug x

Niklepic Wed 22-May-13 13:06:37

I did exactly that when DS was diagnosed with a muscle wasting condition (DMD). I held things together for about a week or so before having a major breakdown. I was signed off with stress/anxiety and was off for nearly 2 months. My employer was very understanding and I was even able to reduce my working hours once I got back to take account of all the appointments DS had to attend.

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