To think school should have sorted this !?!(13 Posts)
Well, I'm not a teacher, but there is no way I would not say anything to the school. I would be in the head of year's office insisting these bullies are dealt with.
At parents evening teachers said that your daughter(?) was being bullied in their lessons? Did you ask them what they were doing about it?
Definitely talk to the school and escalate if necessary. Bullying can have a very negative effect on people in the short and long term, and there should be firm anti-bullying measures implemented in schools.
It's good they have a plan. Time for them to "take it forward" now!
I know you said your DD didn't want this mentioned to the school, but, having been in a similar position myself, I would definitely go the school, despite your DD's wishes. No one needs to know that you instigated anything. The school don't need to tell anyone that you were involved.
Definitely the school need to get serious and stop this happening. Talk to your daughter and keep a (secret from her) log of events, times and places and set up a meeting so that you can talk specifics regarding events and the effect each event has on your daughter. That way you have facts to discuss which will help to make your point clearly and prevent stonewalling.
Ask for their action plan and how they're going to implement it.
Talk to the school, together with your daughter; you two need to be a team and if you're not you run the risk of the school saying one thing to you and another to her and by going against her expressed wish you don't talk to the school you run the risk that she will stop confiding in you.
You need to talk to the school. They will want to help but can't if they don't realise it's happening.
My dd1 never wants me to talk to the school. But I do, and ask them not to let her know that I've said anything. They never have let her know. I do sometimes tell her a bit later.
A couple of months ago she had parents' evening, and I nipped off while she and dh were waiting to see a teacher, to speak to her form teacher about something that she had spoken about the day before. She wasn't really in it, but she'd mentioned that a lad from her form that she gets on with was in it, along with a few other comments of name calling to him and things and said he was getting upset.
So I told her teacher, figuring if it my my dc then I'd want the other parent to mention it.
Next day it was carefully sorted by the teachers and dd1 and friends (including this lad) spent a very happy maths lesson trying to work out how the teachers had heard of it.
I told her last night that it was me, and she was one because she wasn't going to get any blame for telling, but it was through her that it had been sorted.
I would (in fact I did for my dd) say something asap to the head of year 7.
In our case dd started in yr7 and was targetted for low level spitefulness when she befriended a girl out of kindness who was already being bullied. So they very generously began to include my dd too.
I Emailed the head of year with my concerns and what I wanted as the outcome. I emailed initially because I wnated to get the facts down without getting emotional which I thiought I might if I went in. The HofY hauled them all in and it stopped like magic. Dd now yr 10 and had no more problems with them.
The crucial thing I feel is to act right now on this and stamp all over it whilst they're in yr7.
At this age they'll hopefully be more receptive to being told what's what. Also it stops the whole bullied/bully relationship to harden into set roles over the coming years. Difficult to change perceptions about
people if they've been seen as the class target for a long time.
I would be pretty unimpressed though if the teachers had mentioned it to me at parents evening and hadn't done something to tackle it. I'd me mentioning that in my correspondence to the head of year too.
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