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AIBU?

Feeling disappointed by friend

3 replies

LisbethSalender · 21/05/2013 11:15

Last year I was bridesmaid to an old friend. She turned out to be a Bridezilla, but I kept quiet and got on with being bridesmaid. Just before the wedding, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. Bride was told.

Bride has not been in touch since wedding, but posted about being pregnant on facebook. I congratulated her and hubby on her pregnancy online. I have had no other contact with bride since my reply to her good news.

My Dad is now reaching the end of his radiotherapy, but I'm feeling disappointed in my friend for not being in touch to ask how he is. Her Mum died of a brain tumour about 10 years ago, and I thought she would be there for me through my Dad's cancer, but she hasn't. AIBU to expect her to be there for me? I am now unsure how to approach her given the situation. Any advice welcome!

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puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 21/05/2013 11:19

People deal with bad news in different ways. I know I am a head in the sand kind of person, and although it may come across like I dont care, I really do I just dont know how to verbalise it.

It may also be reminding her of her mothers death.

Whilst it is shitty that she has been unsupportive, I wouldn't go in all guns blazing.

I'm sorry about your dad, I hope he is making a full recovery.

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Portofino · 21/05/2013 11:24

My mum died of cancer when I was little, and for most of my life I have struggled with dealing with other people's illnesses. I sadly have put my head in the sand and avoided the issue in the past. Thankfully as I got older I have learned some better skills for coping with this. It must be very disappointing for you though. Could you approach her re. the new baby? I think I would not expect her to be there as a practical support for you though.

Wishing your dad all the best xx

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toomuchtoask · 21/05/2013 11:28

My friends were useless when my Dad had cancer, so were my work colleagues and my boss. I think some people just don't know what to say.

Try not to judge her too harshly - it might be hard for her to talk about/ask about given the history with her mum.

Fingers crossed for your Dad.

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