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IF DS friends mum said this to feel a bit miffed

(9 Posts)
pickofthepops Mon 20-May-13 20:43:09

We are moving and DS will be going to a new school. He told me today that X's mum said 'don't play with DS as he is moving'. They are five. I realise this is not a direct quote. DS said 'but I just want to play with you' but X said 'No',.DS said it made him feel sad.

I feel for X and see what his mum is trying to achieve. There has been a bit of movement, shes worried X will have lost his close circle of bestish friends and I'm all for a wide circle of friends.

AIBU to give her a call if DS says X has said this again? I just want to put my view that I see why she is concerned but to let her know DS was sad and that doesn't seem a nice lesson to show X that you ignore people if they are off the scene soon. Hopefully she did just suggest a wider circle of friends rather than ostracising DS. But my heart is breaking (not being OTT but you know what I mean?) even though I know DS can and does play with others (as he has done along with X).

CloudsAndTrees Mon 20-May-13 20:51:41

YANBU to feel upset, but I don't think it would be a good idea to call her.

She is unlikely to do anything about it, if she said this to her child then she will probably just be pleased that her son listened to her.

Tell your son to tell the adults at school if he is being left out of play and let them deal with it. They will have experienced it before, even if for different reasons.

HollyBerryBush Mon 20-May-13 20:53:38

At that age you can have a full 5 min convo with a child, and they pick one line.

Translation: X is moving soon, so you need to make some new friends because he wont always be there = I'm not allowed to play with you

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 20-May-13 20:54:34


Joiningthegang Mon 20-May-13 20:55:36

They are 5 and whatever the mum said originally has passed through 2 5 year olds.

She may have said to play with lots I children as you are moving? She might not have said anything of the sort.

I wouldnt call her

pickofthepops Mon 20-May-13 21:30:05

Thanks for the reality checks wink

pickofthepops Mon 20-May-13 21:31:06

Have written a note in his book. See where DS friends mum is coming from. She can be blunt. Just horrid seeing any five year old upset.

Idocrazythings Mon 20-May-13 21:36:27

Sorry, but I'd believe she said it. People do back off when you are moving. Can you mention to the teacher that he's feeling a little left out, and leave it at that- is it worth confronting her if you are leaving very soon? On the other hand it might be good to- you can practice some assertion skills on her...

SarahAndFuck Mon 20-May-13 22:38:24

She might have said "Don't only play with X today, try to play with someone else as well because..." or "Don't just play with X, play with the others too as X is moving soon..."

You might be talking about me, except my DS and his friend are only four. DS has a friend at school who is moving soon and I have been trying to encourage him to play with lots of people, even before this friend was due to move.

I haven't told him not to play with this boy because he is moving, but have been encouraging DS to play with everyone a little bit more anyway for other reasons.

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