Sorry, another parking one. Who is being unreasonable here?(89 Posts)
We have lived in our house for 8 years. Small cul-de-sac with some parking at the end near our house. For all the time we have lived here, DH and I have parked in the same spots- in the 2 spaces nearest the houses. Never has there been any trouble with parking.
New neighbours have just moved in next door and suddenly I have been pushed out of my parking space. The bloke asked me earlier if I could move my car over so his wife could park nearest the house, as it is easier for them to get the young kids out of the car.
I did move it, but when his wife came home I went out and said I felt it was a bit off to suddenly be asked to park elsewhere just because they wanted that space. They argued that it was because of getting the kids in and out (baby and 3 year old), and said as mine are older (5) it is easier for me to park over the other side of the close.
I realise this sounds extremely petty, and there is no reason that I can't park elsewhere. It is after all a public road, and no one owns the spaces. It just really annoys me that I have been pushed out of my parking space by people who have only lived here a week. I wouldn't dream of moving into a new street and turfing someone else out of a space they had parked in for 8 years.
So, am I being unreasonable to feel so put out by this? Or are the new neighbours unreasonable for coming in and disrupting our long standing parking arrangements?
Chocolate and wine for anyone who hasn't yet died of boredom!
Op I think the neighbours are being more unreasonable than you.
I don't think you're being totally unreasonable OP.. I completely get your disappointment at the change in things now with the new neighbours...
It would disappoint me too... I think they were pretty direct to ask you straight out to be honest, but maybe I wish I was more like them and actually asked upfront...
Hey ho.. all good things come to an end
See what they say about the compromise?
I would just keep parking there, but DH needs to have his van close to the house. And if I am in my usual space, they will park in his usual space, and then he can't put water in his van.
Have calmed down a bit now, and you are all right, not worth the hassle. Hopefully we will be in a position to move in the not too distant future, and off street parking will be a priority!
I don't think you're being totally unreasonable at all! I think you could probably come to some arrangement whereby you each have one space close to the house, but if that doesn't work then a first come, first served is absolutely fine imo.
I'm very glad we have our own driveway - I would spend my entire life seething at the neighbours otherwise, I think!
Couldn't he move his van down to your house in the morning before work, or in the evening before moving it across the cul-de-sac? A quick double park job - if he doesn't block anyone?
They were being unreasonable to ask youto move. I never get to park in front of my house but I would never have dreamt of going to ask the neighbours to move because I had a baby and a toddler
First come first served, and if they ask you to move again tell them its not convenient.
YABU, it is first come first served.
That said for neighbourly harmony could you not just have one of your cars outside your house, and your other car elsewhere?
That is what me and my hubby do, as we have two cars and my neighbour has just one. So we park one right outside (if there is a space) and the other across the road (where the lady who owns the house doesn't have a car and is happy for people to park there).
Neighbourly relations stay intact and everyone is happy. As a couple we have the car the kids are most frequently in nearest the house.
The parking spaces are unassigned, so they belong to no one.
Your DH wants to plug in his hosepipe, you don't want to cross the road, they don't want to cross the road. All of these are wishes, none of them are rights.
So the only options are:
- free for all
- you discuss and you agree to share (so DH gets the near spot, as do neighbours, and you cross the road)
- you discuss tell them that you won't share - they will either think sod you, and go free for all, or park across the road and seethe.
- you discuss and can't agree to share - ending up in a free for all.
Only option 2 makes any sense.
im in a cul de sac and its a first come first serve basis ,no one has a right to any space , just park the nearest you can , i would never move my car further away for a neighbour to get closer though.
Well, they asked you to move. So it would be reasonable for you to ask that they leave one of the spaces for your DH, so he can fill up his tanks.
Absolutely first come first parked. No-one owns the space. You both acknowledge that it's a public street and no-one has greater rights. Don't move your car for them again, it's really not that much of an issue to get kids out of the car across a quiet cul-de-sac. But if they get there first some days, be graceful about taking your second-choice space.
OP, I hear what you are saying. But having done the 3yo + baby + shopping + change bag trips with a toddler bent on bolting into the road... I think her need may be greater than yours at the moment.
Yes, her DP was forward in asking you. But at the same time, you don't know them well enough to know whether there are any underlying issues, whether mum just isn't coping, etc. It's annoying, but you may be happier in the long run if you assume she really needs the spot and be the bigger person.
Just park where you want to park! You should have said no from the start. But as you didn't, just carry on as before and if they ask again feign ignorance and say you didn't realise they meant permanently. Then whoever gets there first can park there first.
Otherwise, you will end up with them having two children the same age yours are now, and you still feeling like you can't work where you want on a public road, which is ridiculous.
oh mis read op! if there are two spaces you should really expect new neighbours to have one too
Public highway, therefore first come first served. BUT if I came home and noticed she was out I would leave the space near her house as she's got a baby.
<narrows eyes at own neighbours who never extended this courtesy to me>
So they asked you to move there & then so that they could park there-rather than ask if they could use one of the closest spaces in future?
Park where you want to park. If they ask you to move your car, just say politely that you would prefer not to. They can park there if the space is free, just as you can. They are absolutely not entitled to the space by virtue of having younger children.
I think if you've got two cars, and there are two spaces for you and a neighbour, you get to park one near the house and one further away.
Where did the people who owned the house before your neighbours park? Did they have a particular space?
I would say it is first come, first served and take turns where possible.
First come first served would be my view also.
Actually, if there is only convenient space for one car per house and nobody has off-road parking, then you obviously live in a street that isn't suited to anything other than a maximum of one car per household. Therefore YABU, both about the parking and about having two cars in your household.
Instead of getting narked about the situation now you should instead be grateful that you've been lucky enough to have convenient parking for an extra car for the past eight years.
And I say that as someone who lives in a 'only space for a max of one car per household terraced street' next door to a house which doesn't have a proper parking spot in front of it. Right now we are very grateful that the occupants of that house are a no-car-household, although DH does sometimes have to park elsewhere if they have visitors.
First come, first served I think.
Having said that we can't park on our own driveway as our neighbours, who have lived there longer, park their car on their driveway which is directly next to ours and there isn't enough space for our car between theirs and the wall. We have a toddler, they don't. We have to park on the road and walk to the house. Is it fair, arguably not but the fact is they lived here first and it's not their fault that two people carriers can't fit on the driveways.
Next time you have a conversation just state that it should be first come first served. I think YABU to think it is 'your' space but equally I think they are being U asking you to move.
I agree. If you get there and the spot's free, then park there. If they get the first, then they can park there.
Sorry but YABU. Anyone is entitled to park there. Just because you have lived in the street longer does not give your priority.
I know it must be (very) annoying for you, but you can't expect the space to always be there for you. If you are there first though, then don't feel as if you have to park in a further away space because they need that space. Anyone can us it, so if you're there first, then definitely use it.
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